+36 You want to go to Confessional just to piss a priest off, amirite?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't like stirring up crap with others... or in person anyway.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been six years since my last confession." "Go ahead, my child." "I took the Lord's name in vain. Normally I wouldn't, but it was just after I hit someone with my car." "I see. Was this person you hit injured?" "I don't know. I drove away without stopping to check." "You didn't stop? That's a terrible sin!" "Does it make it worse if it's a cop?" "You - you hit a cop?!" "I think so. I was speeding at the time." "Well speeding's kind of inconsequential at this point... Did you at least call the police?" "No way. They'd just put me in jail. Besides, even if the cop lived, they'd probably put me in jail for stealing the world's largest diamond... Father? Are you there?" "You stole the world's largest diamond?" "Yes. That's what I was driving away from when I hit the cop. Is that a sin?" "Yes! Yes, that's a sin!" "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't kill anyone to get it." "Well I guess that's something..." "Father, I need to confess another thing. I also lied. It was when I said I didn't kill anyone to get it. Man, it feels good to get that off my chest." "Jesus Christ..."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. “Father O’Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I’ve never felt better.” “My good man,” says the priest, “I think you’ve come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?” And the guy goes: “I’m telling everybody!”

by Anonymous 12 years ago

inb4 serious passive-aggressive Christain comment

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why the heck would you want to make someone like that mad. I'm a christian, but I dont go to confession. Still, its just some respect even if youre not a christian.

by Anonymous 12 years ago