+488 If Hogwarts was a real school, it would have closed a long time ago. No government on Earth would accept a school that hired Voldemort, kept a giant snake slithering around, let a mass murder in, hired a Death Eater, housed a potentially fatal competition, and punished kids with torture devices. Not to mention the homicidal tree on the grounds, amirite?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Not to worry, we've only had one death at the school, belonging to poor old Cedric. And we didn't know Tom Riddle was going to grow up into Voldemort! That's just unfair! I think you should mull the matter over a big tub of Acid Pops. ~Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I love that you put all the middle names in there.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

More than one death. Quirrell...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Moaning Myrtle...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Cedric, Quirrell, Myrtle, and ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO DIED DURING THE FIGHT (which of course, took place in Hogwarts) IN THE DEATHLY HALLOWS. One death? Really?! D: And you mention Cedric's of all people!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

but then you have those pesky zoning laws with the brooms and all...quididitch wouldn't be the same ;)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Oh, also, I know you died before that battle happened, but I'm sure the portraits gossiped about it and it got back to your portrait!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Very true, except that you can't see hogwarts unless you're a witch/wizard, to ordinary muggles it looks like an old abandoned shack =D

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The government doesn't even know it exsists.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

yeah they do. The minister of magic tells the prime minister about Hogwarts.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The government wouldn't be able to do anything about it because they are wizards and the government is not.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

umm what torture devices? and hogwarts didnt hire voldemort. .

by Anonymous 13 years ago

They hired Quirrel who was possessed by Voldemort, and Umbridge used Blood Quills on the students.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

but they didn't know he was possesed! Plus the government itself (ministry of magic) forced Albus Dumbledore to hire Umbridge.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Eh I know. But even after Dumbledore found out about Voldemort he hired another of Voldemorts servants. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I was debating about putting the bit about Umbridge in there anyways.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Okay well no one knew about Quirell being possesed because he worked for Hogwarts before Voldemort found him in a forest in Albainia and possesed him. As for the other servant are you talking about Snape? Because if you read number seven you'd know that snape is actually good all along.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No I was talking about Mad Eye Moody/Barty Crouch Jr. I don't know if I read this in the books or not, but supposedly Mad Eye and Dumbledore were really good friends. I think he should have noticed that his good friend was acting odd. And doesn't Hogwarts have the reputation of being one of the safest places in the world?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Oh right mad eye. well supposedly he was a lot like his normal self. And really how safe can you be when there's a powerful wizard who kills anyone in his way to kill more people? and yes it is safe because Dumbledore is the only wizard that Voldemort fears.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If Dumbledore is so powerful why didn't he stop everything?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

He pretty much did! He told Harry to destroy the horcruzes then had himself killed so the elder wand would be Harrys and would backfire and kill voledmort

by Anonymous 13 years ago

He didn't stop several students from getting petrified, or Sirius from getting into their dorm room when he thought Sirius was guilty. He didn't stop Harry from getting portkeyed away to Voldemort where Harry could have easily died.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

ugh I'm not arguing this anymore, it's draning. Let's just say if you overthink Harry Potter it doesn't make sense but it's a pretty damn good series.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'll wholeheartedly agree with that

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Just because Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time doesn't mean he's infallible. He can't control everything, and he doesn't know everything. The amount of times he is able to save Harry and the wizarding world make up for the times when he's not 'all over it'.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Agreed, esensially he did stop everything, and what kind of series would it be if Dumbldore fixed everything everytime? Jeez.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

He always knew sirius was good he was the one who did the fidelius charm between harry's parents and wormtail.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Oh and one more thing, sorry to correct you Dumbledore, but a whole ton of people die in book seven during the battle against Voldemort.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Plus Quirell dies in book one.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

to the person above me not to seem like a prick( >_< ) but that battle was optional

by Anonymous 13 years ago

quirell was habouring fugitives! >_<

by Anonymous 13 years ago

**harbouring

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It's a shame I died, really, because that battle would not have happened. ~Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ahaha true it was optional. But don't worry I totally dissagree with the original post, so don't fret.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If it didn't happen Harry, Ron and Hermionie wouldn't have found and destroyed all the horcruzes in time! Then Voldemort would have killed Harry and more people would die or be tortured!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Voldemort was actually rejected a job as a teacher there, they didn't hire him but they did hire Quirrell a perfectly good hearted teacher. Plus, muggle's can't see it, isn't it seen as a shack to them?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well it's not invisible to them, but they suddenly have somewhere else to be, or think of something else, so they just don't get near it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No, that's the Quidditch World cup. I remember reading something about being an old shack though.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I think you are thinking of the Shrieking Shack, but it has been a long time since I've read all the books... Hmm, new mission? I think so.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

oooh have fun! I've been re-reading too. Erm, the shrieking shack is a shack to evreyone, it's only 'haunted' because of the noises Lupin made while transforming.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Thanks, buddy. I couldn't remember.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Are you really arguing about fictional characters?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Of course we are.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Hogwarts not real? What in bollocks are you talking about? (Btw the government, which is the Ministry of Magic, is never run by capable leaders throughout the books).

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Nobody every hired voldemort. Tom Riddle applied for the job years ago twice but they did not accept him. You fail. DO not make harry potter references if you don't nkow your stuff.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The poster was referring to when Professor Quirrel was hired (he was possesd by Voldemort, therefore Voldemort was hired). Perhaps you should review what you know about Harry Potter, because this person seems to know his stuff.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Um, Voldy wasn't hired. Dumbledore turned him down. Everybody thought the Chamber of Secrets was just a legend. They didn't think it was real. Therefore, they didn't know of the snake. Albus had reason to believe Severus was good. What torture device is this of which you speak? The Whomping Willow was planted for Remus. The other students weren't supposed to go near it. They discontinued the tournament when a student was murdered, but brought it back and said only students that were of age were able to participate. Hogwarts didn't actually "let" a mass murder inside. The teachers and everyone fighting tried to keep the Death Eaters outside.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

First, see the post above you for Voldemort being hired. Second, the snake killed a girl, that should have been a clue that it was real. Third, the Death Eater he was talking about was Barty Crouch Jr. (when he was using Polyjuice Potion to impersonate Mad-Eye Moody). Fourth, well... it's still a stupid tree. Fifth, yeah, they took more safety precautions for the tournament; they just didn't work since Cedric died. Sixth, I think the mass murderer he meant was Sirius Black, although, as we all know, he wasn't actually a murder, so that point is moot.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Quirrel was a teacher before he applied for the DADA job. Dumbeldore didn't technically hire Voldemort. Dumbledore didn't know it was BCJ, because BCJ acted JUST. LIKE. HIM. I don't think anybody really knew that a snake was the monster in the CoS.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The thing with the snake killing Myrtle is that they blamed that on Hagrid and Aragog, so when Aragog was sent into the Forbidden Forest, they assumed that Hogwarts was once again safe.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ha you guys think its not real?*cough* Someone didnt get their letter* cough*

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Darn muggle doesn't know what they're talking about.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

HOGWARTS IS REAL!!! Its not our problem if you didn't get your letter, you stupid muggle.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Okay, all those people saying Quirrell was the Death Eater, I'm pretty sure they're talking about Alecto/Amycus Carrow in book 7 (DADA teacher and Muggle Studies teacher); Quirrell was never a Death Eater.

by Anonymous 13 years ago