+1,735
Abraham Lincoln's last tweet would have been: "Watching boring ass play, #killmenow" , amirite?
by Anonymous13 years ago
Too soon.
by Anonymous13 years ago
It's been 23 years.
by Anonymous13 years ago
Let me guess, you failed maths at school?
by Anonymous13 years ago
You're retarded. It's been more than 23 years since the assassination. But you can joke about a dead person after 23 years. South Park said so.
by Anonymous13 years ago
LOL, I read that thinking that you thought only 23 years have passed, when you were trying to say more than 23 years have passed.
by Anonymous13 years ago
Hahaha oh :P
by Anonymous13 years ago
*four score and 7 years
by Anonymous12 years ago
*1 score and 3 years.
by Anonymous12 years ago
What is an ass play?
by Anonymous13 years ago
old-fashioned gay porno
by Anonymous13 years ago
I will never look at Abe the same way again
by Anonymous13 years ago
Lincoln lay back on his bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. "Tell me," he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. "When you come, is it 10% ethanol?"
by Anonymous12 years ago
That reminds me of the episode of American Dad when Stan decides to write a play aboot Abraham Lincoln, and he becomes extremely popular with Log Cabin Republicans.
by Anonymous12 years ago
LMFAO I used to shoot in those vids
by Anonymous13 years ago
http://tinyurl.com/yhnjcpb
by Anonymous12 years ago
Well, great. Now that's in my history.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Ain't it?
by Anonymous12 years ago
Too soon, man. Too soon.
by Anonymous13 years ago
Too late, man. Too late.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Too cute, man.
2 CUTE! <333
by Anonymous12 years ago
You're too cute.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'm blushing! *forcefully blushes*
by Anonymous12 years ago
You call that blushing? It's much too forced. You look constipated.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Some laxatives will take care of that. Also, sleeping pills. And maybe LSD. It'd be like the matrix with more fecal matter.
by Anonymous12 years ago
So.... like, Neo would take breaks from flying and looking badass to visit the little boy's room?
by Anonymous12 years ago
10:13 PM @BoothnotTable Lawl! Sic Semper Tyrannis, bitchezzzz :P
by Anonymous13 years ago
...or on Facebook. *John Wilkes Booth likes this status*
by Anonymous13 years ago
by Anonymous12 years ago
Whoa, you almost passed the character limit there, be more careful next time.
by Anonymous12 years ago
why is making squares funny??
by Anonymous12 years ago
I see squares all the time, too. Dunno why...
by Anonymous12 years ago
"Just called in CIA to fake my assassination #lololol"
-30 seconds ago
by Anonymous12 years ago
You're stupid, twitter didn't exist back then
by Anonymous12 years ago
by Anonymous12 years ago
Wow, what an insightful comment, even though the post clearly says "would have been."
by Anonymous12 years ago
You're stupid, this is a joke.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Why thankyou for pointing that out... but how would you know? YOU WEREN'T THERE NOW WERE YOU?
by Anonymous12 years ago
There was no Twitter back in my day.
by Anonymous12 years ago
But we did Tweet the old fashioned way... with birds!
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'm Abraham Lincoln.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I am Not Abraham Lincoln
by Anonymous12 years ago
I am NOT FlyingGuineaPig.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'll say you aren't
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'll say pikapika!
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'll say Simon says say 'I'll say 'Simon says say 'I'll say''
by Anonymous12 years ago
Will the real Abraham Lincoln please stand up, please stand up?
by Anonymous12 years ago
Why would you love that comment? This troll isn't even funny.
by Anonymous12 years ago
But ass play is never boring!
by Anonymous12 years ago
a splay*
But a splay [of butt cheeks] is never boring!
by Anonymous12 years ago
Ass splay!
by Anonymous12 years ago
except, wasn't it a super funny play or something?
S:
by Anonymous12 years ago
It's weird; I can't really imagine President Lincoln laughing hysterically. Huh.
by Anonymous12 years ago
how about chuckling?
by Anonymous12 years ago
yeah, but he probably burst out laughing at some point as an adult...
by Anonymous12 years ago
"Oh, fiddlesticks. My trademark hat fell off I was laughing so hard."
by Anonymous12 years ago
*Imagines Abraham Lincoln babysitting some fourty-something-year-old douche bag while said douche bag takes the least aggressive route in story mode of Gears of War and not losing any lives in the process*
...haha. At least his parents have cable.
by Anonymous12 years ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4Uf9rsBbhc
Relevant. Lincoln was an asshole.
by Anonymous12 years ago
This must be where the movie idea came from. ...The vampire part
by Anonymous11 years ago
I like how this is in the "FOOD" category
by Anonymous12 years ago
Epic commenting! xD
by Anonymous12 years ago
http://touch.amirite.net/366618
by Anonymous12 years ago
I bet amirite feels stupid now.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Abraham Lincoln. Whatta tool.
by Anonymous12 years ago
what you did there I see.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I doubt it. He'd have more class than most of tweeter
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