+1,474 Anti-jokes are sometimes funnier than real jokes nowadays. Example: Helen Keller walks into a bar. Then a table. Then a door. Amirite?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is ruining his family.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" He says, "My wife has terminal cancer."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because horses can't talk.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

http://www.amirite.net/540605/1117145

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A man walks into a bar when his friend shouts "DUCK!" too late.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

(Chauncy Pickles): Dip, Dive, Dodge, and Duck again!

by Anonymous 12 years ago

No. It's Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and, um, dodge.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

But he started with duck! So you have to end with duck, isn't that how it works?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I thought you ended with goose. And then the person you picked as goose has to chase you.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I just understood that saying.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Y are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Ahhh, this actually made me laugh. I probably looked like an idiot laughing at the computer.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a truck.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's my favorite!

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? She was holding the boy's hand.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever shit you were buying at Walmart? Finding out you're pregnant with a rape baby.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"You know what's worse than wet socks? Genocide."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I love those replies. "OMG WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN MY PHONE RUNNING OUT OF BATTERY ARGHHH!@$^" "The holocaust"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an ax. What's red and smells like blue paint? RED PAINT! Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm. What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? The Holocaust.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"apple in your worm" hehe

by Anonymous 12 years ago

May God forbid the day I find an apple in my worm.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Ya never know...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

An Irish man walks out of a bar. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Those lucky dyslexics! Getting away with things no one else would.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

There's a black man, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a great example of an integrated community.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Wasn't that on family guy?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I actually don't know. It's possible?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are insentient and cannot experience fear.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I like how this has turned into an anti-joke contest. Yo momma is so ugly, she often finds it difficult to attract members of the opposite sex.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why do Mexicans have tamales on Christmas? Because it's a tradition.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave fights back tears as he realizes his grandmothers alzheimers is getting worse

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

by Anonymous 12 years ago

that doesn't rhyme.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

neither do you.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't get it...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

roses are red violets are BLUE i have a gun get in the van that doesn't rhyme and neither do YOU

by Anonymous 12 years ago

(Some_Dude):teamwork. still, lol it's pretty off cause there are too many nonrhyming lines in between.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot :/

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I like how all the comments on this post are so unoriginal. Anti jokes used to be funny but then everyone went around and told the SAME ONES over and over that now their just lame.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I read anti jokes with my poker face on.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

so does lady gaga

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That was fantastic.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You need to write a book.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? Usually One. It depends where the light bulb is located. But mostly just one.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm going to hell for laughing at all of these.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill all of his family

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

why did the little boy cry when he sat on santa's lap? santas boner reminded him of his rapist father.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

why did susie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

knock, knock. who's there? not susie.

by Anonymous 11 years ago