It's about time for child predators to update their approach. Sure handing out "free candy" is a classic, but let's get realistic. Kids these days are less into candy and more into "free iPhones". amirite?

I don't think there will ever come a day when kids don't like candy.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'd let someone rape my 5 year old self for an iphone.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I accidentally read this as "I'd let someone rape my 5 year old for an iphone." and almost voted down. Thank god i read it twice.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Me too. I was about to say something about child services knocking at their door until I re-read it.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why would you need an iPhone when you're 5??

by Anonymous 12 years ago

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It's 2011. All 5 year olds have iPhones ono

by Anonymous 12 years ago

And on top of that it has to be an iPhone 5 at the very least.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Damn. Even the cost of being a pedophile is going up. What a sad day for the world.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Cost of big white pedo-van: $25K Cost of iPhone bait: $199 Cost of raping a small child: priceless. Or a life-sentence in jail, but that's only for the LOSER pedophiles.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What if a pedophile went to juvie? hello

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Then they'd just be a pervert child.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Dinkleberg...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

HOLY SHIT! CONGRATULATIONS MAN! I feel weird now. Like you're famous and I'm just here. =)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

.........

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I know him.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Who??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

by Anonymous 12 years ago

ThisisPhoenix. I know him. I have his autograph and everything.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Oh. Tell him I say hello

by Anonymous 12 years ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFZrzg62Zj0&feature=related

by Anonymous 12 years ago

He asked a question, Jeeze Dandy.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Thats pretty much true.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

And if a child predator said "Free candy with iPhone" he'd be unstoppable.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Unless you found him and beat him to death with a stop sign.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'd wander off with a stranger if it meant that not only do I get candy, but I also get an iPhone.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yeah but that's too obvious. I like to go with the"free sharks" approach. Nobody suspects a thing smirk

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Sharks? Where's a kid going to keep a shark? And what're they going to do with it, besides get a limb torn off?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's the catch. They're imaginary. That way, they're free and no one gets hurt. (except the kids bottom.)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Pedophiles: caring about the safety of the kids since forever.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm not a pedophile

I'm a pedofucker.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Play fetch, watch it swim, feed people you don't like, dress it up in ridiculous outfits, cuddle it, poke it with a stick, teach it tricks, let it comfort you when you're feeling down... The possibilities are endless. You dismiss sharks as ugly predators without giving them a chance when intact they could be man's new best friend.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Oh, something like this? http://ctrlv.in/34276 Yeah, I can see how that might work hmm

by Anonymous 12 years ago

My favorite child predators are baby lions. They're so cute before they become man-eaters <3 http://babyanimalz.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/nm_germany_baby_lion.jpg

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Hey, that's my niece. And we go by flesh eaters, we eat more then humans you know.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why exactly would we want child predators to step up their game?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Because then we get free iPhones.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Free iPhone! Just inside my shiny white van. Come on, don't question it! If you help me find my missing puppy, I'll give you an iPhone AND a candy. hello

by Anonymous 12 years ago

And a Megasaurass! It's a newly discovered dinosaur.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It has a REALLY hard tail.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

PSHT. A CANDY? A SINGLE CANDY? CHEAPO! I can't be raped for anything less than two candies.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Where's the mallet guy? And good POTD. I approve.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

He was banned because noone is allowed to troll the POTD frown

by Anonymous 12 years ago

http://ctrlv.in/34281

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Thats a lovely picture

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This brings a question, would you get raped for a POTD

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You can't rape the willing ;)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'd rather get "free hunger games books." Currently drooling over your prof pic.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm sick of false advertising. Pedos should offer free sex.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Well now it's hard to lure kids to Neverland...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yeah, MJ pretty much screwed that up for you guys.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

So true... maybe I should make iPads

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Or: "Hey. I've got some free puppies. Wanna take a look?" OR "Want a ride home?" My parents always use those as examples when to not go with strangers.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

LOLLL i <33333 dis post its sooooo funny when i red it i was like lolloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololololololololololololololol ololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololololololololololololololol ololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololololololololololololololol ololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lolololololololololololololololololololololololololol ololololololololololololololololololololololololololololo lolololololol...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNrgpVp70U

by Anonymous 12 years ago

But I like candy...

by Anonymous 12 years ago