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It's not fair for a girl who is abstinent to be upset that her boyfriend watches porn, amirite?
by Anonymous12 years ago
Contrary to popular opinion, the world does not revolve around sex.
If she genuinely expresses her discomfort over habits that personally affect her (whatever they may be) and he chooses to ignore her, then yes, she has a reason to be upset.
by Anonymous12 years ago
You are my hero.
by Anonymous12 years ago
She can be as upset as she wants to be, she shouldn't expect him to stop. People watch porn. Deal.
by Anonymous12 years ago
just because something is common and out of control does not make it right. If a girl does not want her man to watch porn but she isnt willing to put out than he should break up with her. Watching porn while in a relationship is a form of cheating because your looking at other girls bodies and lusting after them.
by Anonymous12 years ago
LMFAO!!!
by Anonymous12 years ago
Um... out of control...? http://amirite.net/650510 http://amirite.net/651749 I
by Anonymous12 years ago
We know what porn is and what it does. That's not cheating. If the girl has a problem with it, she can break up with him. But she's gonna be leaving a lot of relationships if she breaks up with every guy who watches porn.
by Anonymous12 years ago
again, doesn't make it right. Maybe she will break up with a lot of guys but definitely the wrong ones if they aren't willing to change something that offends or upsets their girlfriend
by Anonymous12 years ago
Maybe the girlfriend should quit being a brown noser.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Sex makes the world go round. If it wasn't for sex, no one would be here.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Doesn't really relate to this instance. OP wasn't saying the girl would never have sex with the guy. OP said the girl was waiting until marriage.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I never said OP said girl would never had sex...? It related to the part of their comment where they said "Contrary to popular opinion, the world does not revolve around sex." Nothing else. That't the only thing I was replying to.
by Anonymous12 years ago
If I was a vegetarian and I told my boyfriend I was uncomfortable with him eating meat, that doesn't mean he should have to stop eating meat if he likes it. It isn't harming me that he is eating meat, it just isn't my favorite thing.
by Anonymous12 years ago
That's a completely different scenario. Him eating meat does not affect you physically, mentally, or to a serious effect, emotionally. At most, it upsets you a little.
Sex is a lot more personal than a decision like eating meat.
I was referring more or less to habits like smoking, drinking, exessive flirting, exessive gambling, etc. All habits that have a direct impart on the person you're with - physically, mentally, and emotionally.
In all those instances, you have a right to explain why it bothers you. And you have a right to be upset if you're completely ignored. Not to say that anyone should expect another person to change overnight for them. But everyone deserves to be listened to.
by Anonymous12 years ago
You do have a right to be upset about it, yes, and by all means, go ahead and ask him to please stop watching it. But when it comes down to it, he is not having sex with those girls and saying he is cheating is absurd. If a sex scene comes on in a movie you are watching, are you cheating? No. It doesn't directly hurt you, he isn't making you watch it or calling you up saying "HA DAMN LOOK AT THOSE TITS!" If it's something he enjoys doing, why are you allowed to tell him not to just because you don't want him to. Relationships are compromise, people have needs. Everyone gets horny. people watch porn. the end!
by Anonymous12 years ago
First, sex scenes in moves are a lot more tame than porn. Second, you don't usually just WATCH porn. You pleasure yourself while doing it.
Either way, the point I was making is that yes, every relationship involves in compromise. If something you do is genuinely bothering the person you love, whether its minute or a habit you've had for a while, no matter what you think your personal "rights" are, if you genuinely love THEM, you WILL do what makes them the happiest.
It's that simple. Whether it's putting your clothes away because it makes your loved one happy or whether it's quitting smoking, or not watching porn anymore, people make sacrifices for the ones they love.
Of course, your loved one may decide that they can live with your habit and that's a sacrifice THEY make.
by Anonymous12 years ago
If i have to make sacrifices, so do they. They can allow me to watch porn which would not directly harm them at all.
by Anonymous12 years ago
The point is, YOU don't get to choose what's harming to someone and what isn't. A comment you think you said in passing could be really hurtful to another person, while you think nothing of it.
The point of sacrifice is that you do it even if you don't feel like you need to.
That's the point of a relationship - you communicate until you find a solution you're both happy with. You make sacrifices because you love the other person. You don't just stick to your "rights" because you can and it's not 'directly harming them.'
by Anonymous12 years ago
I don't see how a solution you are both happy with could be "by the way, I don't want to have sex..oh and I don't want you watching porn because it hurts me!"
by Anonymous12 years ago
The way you phrased it makes it seem like the other person is trying to control you. If that was the case, it wouldn't be alright.
If they were genuine, it would be something to consider. You would be making them happy by respecting their decision to temporarily abstain from sex. You would also be making them happy by respecting their wishes with regards to their view of porn. In turn, you would, hopefully be happy because you were making the person you love happy.
Of course, this could apply to any situation in a relationship.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I mean, I know its true that you have to make some exceptions. But you have to do things for yourself as well and hope that the other person understands. If it was something different, perhaps not smoking because that is life threatening, I would completely understand. But something so harmless as your boyfriend or girlfriend having some fun doesn't seem bad to me.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Yes, but like I said in a previous comment, what we think as "not so bad" could be very hurtful to another person. It's a matter of perspective.
And like I said before, part of being in a relationship is communicating until you find that compromise that you both agree with.
And for the record, believe me, when you fall in love with some and I mean when you REALLY love someone, not only would you STOP watching porn, but you would throw dog shit at porn stars if it meant making the person you love happy.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I have a boyfriend, trust me, I would go to the ends of the earth for him. I would do anything, within reason, to make him happy. But if I liked to do something and it wasn't harming him, I would be like "no, you're crazy!"
I understand that watching porn could hurt the person, but it is not harmful. It will not kill them. It will not injure them. It won't do anything.
They wouldn't even have to know. What you do in your own time is what you do, and if someone doesn't want to be with you because you like to masturbate to porn like millions of others, then they can have a fun time trying to change some other person. Because if it seriously hurt them that much that I like to pleasure myself, we would have a problem with that relationship.
by Anonymous12 years ago
"It will not kill them. It will not injure them. It won't do anything."
I could use that same point to argue with regards to you not watching porn. ;)
Anyway, the point is, if you're both happy, clap your hands. If you're not, find a compromise until you are, even if it means sacrificing things you would much rather hold on it.
The end. :)
by Anonymous12 years ago
I guess we'll never reach an agreement on this. I just think that if someone is so upset that their boyfriend watches porn, then get a different boyfriend.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Yeah, except they're completely different. In one situation, I do what I want and no one gets killed. In the other, I don't get to do what I want and no one get killed.
by Anonymous12 years ago
and I just don't see how it affects the person refraining from sex.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Relieving their sexual frustration on themselves instead of cheating.
by Anonymous12 years ago
She was talking about porn, not sex. They are not the same at all. I can't see how your SO watching porn affects you in anyway mentally, physically, or emotionally. Porn is not like drinking, smoking, gambling, or extensive flirting. It is not detrimental to your health and it doesn't make you lose money unless your are an idiot who buys porn instead of getting it free on the internet. It's not like flirting with other people because porn is all just pictures and you can't have a relationship with a picture on a screen so it can't threaten your relationship.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Well you're a vegetarian with good intentions, I'm assuming. What good intentions are meant by watching porn?
by Anonymous12 years ago
not having a heavy load to squirt on your girl.
by Anonymous12 years ago
In what way would his watching porn affect her in anyway?
by Anonymous12 years ago
Many ways. If you spend a gross amount of time watching it, she may feel neglected. She may feel insecure that this is what he finds "hot" and she doesn't measure up to it. She may feel pressured to live up to the standards and try the things seen in porn, which would be extremely daunting for a virgin. List goes on.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Watching porn does not cause you to neglect your partner. Even if it does, that's not the fault of porn, that's the fault of the jerk who is neglecting his/her partner.
You can't make those generalizations about something as diverse as porn. Yes, some porn does lead to unrealistic expectations about sex and body image for men and for women. However, there is plenty of porn that portrays realistic sex with regular people, not freaks with disproportionately sized genitalia.
Porn is not evil or nasty it's harmless fun!
by Anonymous12 years ago
well in that case than if her abstinence personally affects him and causes him discomfort but she chooses to ignore that, than he has a right to be upset with her, but when you word it that way it sounds pretty mean huh?
by Anonymous12 years ago
granted, the world might not revolve around sex. But we sure as hell wouldn't be here without it.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Just make that bitch put out.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Was about to tell you to suck a giant bag of tiny dicks, and then I saw your username.
by Anonymous12 years ago
It's not fair for anyone to be upset over someone watching porn. What you do on your own time is your business. It's not ok to make someone feel ashamed or guilty for watching porn because "it hurts your feelings" or whatever.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'm an abstinant girl and if this is how other chicks like me feel about it, THE FUCK ARE THEY SMOKING? God....
by Anonymous12 years ago
my society is very different in this instance. i would expect the person i'm dating to be just as willingly abstinent as me. and yes, that also means no porn.
by Anonymous12 years ago
If she tells him she doesn't want him watching it, she has every right to be upset. Also, he doesn't have to date her.
by Anonymous12 years ago
She has a right to be upset, but she doesn't have the right to tell him not to watch it in the first place. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business.
by Anonymous12 years ago
so if he tells her he doesn't want her being abstinent, than he has every right to be upset with her? You can't just go around imposing your will on people. She doesn't have to date him either, and from the sound of it she is the one who has the problem with him.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I think that porn counts as not being abstinent, so I wouldn't date a guy that watches porn or at least one that is bad at keeping it a secret. What really disgusts me is when married men watch porn. I think that is the biggest insult you could give your spouse. I think it's something everyone needs to stay away from.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Abstinent= not having sex until marriage.
How is watching other people having sex having sex before marriage? You're not going to date very many men if you don't want to date one that doesn't watch porn. You think everyone needs to stay away from it...? How did this comment get upvoted...?
by Anonymous12 years ago
Abstinence has a lot of different meanings. Sorry to go all Christian here, but masturbating and watching porn is a sin that is very well avoidable. I think it is a sign of low self control and high flippancy to women. I like to think that not every man masturbates and watches porn and I'm going to find one for myself (or at least one that keeps it a really good secret.)
by Anonymous12 years ago
Ok, yeah, it has lots of meanings. But you'd rather just be lied to...?
by Anonymous12 years ago
It won't be lying because I won't be asking him. I don't think it's something that you need to ask about, just something that shouldn't be done. However, I feel like if someone is going to lie in a relationship, they had better tell the entire truth at the end of it, no matter what. But that's beside the point.
by Anonymous12 years ago
A lie of omission is still a lie.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I beg to differ. I haven't yet told you that I pick my nose sometimes, but that doesn't mean I've lied to you.
by Anonymous12 years ago
That's not the same. If you're not ok with something and they do it, why is it ok as long as you don't know about it....?
by Anonymous12 years ago
Once I find out about it, it's not okay anymore. It's like when people text during class. The teacher is hardly thinking of it, then when they catch the kid texting, it becomes a problem. Granted, the teacher wishes that the kid was never texting in the first place, but it wasn't a concern until the truth came out. But, I also do hope that I can find a man who would be honest enough to think that they did have to tell me about it in the first place.
by Anonymous12 years ago
That's... strange to me. But whatever floats your boat I suppose...
by Anonymous12 years ago
jw, are you a boy or a girl? I can't tell from anything you've said. Sorry.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'm a girl.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Masturbation isn't a sin. The only sin is lust, if you only focus on the physical aspect of masturbation it isn't sinful at all.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Lust is all about physical aspects and using your reproductive organs for anything except what God designed them for is a sin.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Actually lust is looking at someone and fantasizing about having sex with them or whatnot... if you believe that masturbation is a sin then show me where it says so in the bible. Because it isn't there. The bible says all sorts of things about sex and all the immoral things about it, but nowhere is masturbation mentioned.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Right, because there are a ton of people who don't think about anyone when they masturbate. There is a verse in Genesis or Exodus that I don't have time to look up right now that talks about a man having sex and pulling out. God got mad because he was spilling his semen. Pretty sure that's what masturbation is. Anyway, when I get around to looking for that in the Bible I'll let you know. Also, I'm going to say that I'm not 100% sure about what I just said, so we'll see when I look it up.
by Anonymous12 years ago
you're right, God was mad at him. But it was because of why he spilled his semen. He did not want her to have an heir. The way it worked back then was if your brother died and didn't have a son, you were to sleep with his widow in the hopes that she would bear a son and have an heir. Also it is possible to masturbate without thinking of someone.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Romans 1:26, Genesis 38:9-10
by Anonymous12 years ago
so, in answer, romans is saying that they gave in to lust. Lust is a sin. It doesn't even mention masturbation. In genisis when onan spilled his semen it was because of the reason I previously stated. God was mad at him for that it wasn't really that he spilled his semen, also he didn't masturbate, he just didn't use his semen for reproduction.
by Anonymous12 years ago
"You're not going to date very many men if..." Stop right there. If we plan on getting married, hopefully we will only get married once. Why would we need to date a lot of guys if we're only going to marry one of them? If I don't want to marry a guy who watches porn, then I shouldn't date a guy who watches porn. If I don't want to marry a guy who watches too much tv, I shouldn't date a guy who watches too much tv. It's as simple as that.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Stop right there. You're going to date lots of guys before you know what kind of guy you want to marry. I plan on getting married once too. That has nothing to do with dating. I never said you should settle, I just said you're going to dump a lot of guys if it's that fucking important to you.
by Anonymous12 years ago
But you won't HAVE to dump a lot of guys if you skip the ones you know you won't want. I know I don't want to marry a guy who watches porn, so i'll skip all the ones who do. Besides, you don't need to date a lot fo guys to know who you're going to want to marry. My mom and dad have been married for over twenty years and my mom barely dated at all before she started dating my dad.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Yeah... most people aren't that lucky. Go ahead, ask every guy you're interested in if he watches porn. Better yet, just skip asking and browse his internet history. You're not weird at all.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Of course I'm weird. But considering most relationships end in failure, especially those of people my age, I don't think being weird is neccessarily a bad thing. And I actually don't like that many guys. If it came down to it, I don't think I'd say yes to any guy I know who asked me out. If he watched porn in the past and didn't do it anymore, that'd be one thing, but if it's a constant thing for him, I wouldn't like that. More teenagers watch porn than guys of marrying age, so I don't really care if guys I like now watch it because I'm not going to date or marry them any time soon.
by Anonymous12 years ago
by Anonymous12 years ago
The only reason a guy of marrying age would not watch porn while a teenager does is because they already have sex.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Or because he's grown out of that phase. It is possible for guys to not watch porn.
by Anonymous12 years ago
How do you see porn as an insult to your spouse? I really don't understand that reasoning at all. I see absolutely no reason why people should stay away from porn. It's safe, fun, and completely harmless! The only bad that ever comes of watching porn is the occasional computer virus. Sure, some porn is degrading, seriously messed up and can give people unrealistic expectations about sex, but not all porn is nasty and evil. Porn/masturbation is a totally natural safe outlet for natural sexual desires.
"What really disgusts me is when married men watch porn"- I think you meant to say "married people" and not "married men" becuase plenty of women watch porn.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'm surprised at these comments. Apparently a lot of people think porn, masturbation, and sexuality in general is not ok.
by Anonymous12 years ago
All guys watch porn. If you think they stop when they get into a relationship, they're just hiding it well. Also, if you're abstinant, why are you in a relationship? Can't be much fun.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'm all for watching porn, but being in a relationship is about loving, or at least liking the person. Not sex.
by Anonymous12 years ago
It's not only about sex, but I don't believe you can have a proper relationship without sex. You're missing out on a major emotional connection.
by Anonymous12 years ago
It is possible to have a proper relationship without sex. It's not sex that's important, it's intimacy. My girlfriend and I can be totally intimate without having to take our clothes off. Sex only becomes important after the couple starts having it. Until then it shouldn't be that big of an issue.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Not all guys watch porn. Also porn is not just a "guy thing" if you don't think there are billions of women out there who watch porn, you are seriously mistaken.
by Anonymous12 years ago
My husband and I watch porn together. It's harmless fun.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Harmless or not, if my girlfriend told me that something I did upset her, I would try not to do it whatever it was.
by Anonymous12 years ago
It's not easy.
by Anonymous12 years ago
It's easy enough.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I don't want my guy watching porn. If he knows it really bothers me and doesn't try to stop, I'm going to be upset.
by Anonymous12 years ago
A guy watching porn while in a relationship of any romantic capacity with a woman is probably the most damaging thing that he can do to her self esteem.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I'm gonna have to disagree. I think F*cking her sister, best friend, or that one girl she really hates would be a lot more damaging.
by Anonymous12 years ago
I guess it would depend, but looking at porn would be more like she isn't good enough for you, the others are just they're better. Booth are terribly damaging.
by Anonymous12 years ago
That doesn't make sense if you make it clear to the girl that you prefer her over watching porn.
by Anonymous12 years ago
Did I imply it made sense?
by Anonymous12 years ago
Okay, I'll word it more clearly.
What if the guy makes it clear to the girl that he prefers her over porn?
by Anonymous12 years ago
What I'm saying is that even if you tell her that she will still have lower self esteem.
by Anonymous12 years ago
That doesn't seem reasonable
by Anonymous12 years ago
Women are beyond my understanding. I just know what happens. I have no clue why.
by Anonymous12 years ago
THIS.
by Anonymous11 years ago
If I was in a relationship with a guy and we weren't having sex, I would assume he was probably looking a porn and the like. Most guys do. I don't find it insulting.
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