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Friendzoning is **** because girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out, amirite?

Top Comment

Thank God someone posted this. "Friendzoning" is just misogynistic BS. The belief that treating a woman with basic kindness (hint: you should do this to everyone anyway) somehow means you "deserve" a relationship; that she "owes" you. The belief that any relationship other than a romantic/sexual is a failure, because why else would you bother being nice to a woman? It's just an overhyped sense of entitlement. Women do not owe you sex/relationships no matter how nice you are to them.

+110117740 See / Add Replies

Chou

Comments

This doesn't really make sense.

-2911 Reply

Handsy Handsy

In response to “This doesn't really make sense.

Why not?

+374 Reply

Anonymous OP

In response to “Why not?

That's not exactly what friend zoning is.

+6126 Reply

Handsy Handsy

In response to “That's not exactly what friend zoning is.

Well, guys act like just because they're nice to a girl, she has to like him back otherwise she's a cruel friendzoner.

+42486 Reply

Anonymous OP

In response to “Well, guys act like just because they're nice...

And most of those "nice guys" just put themselves down and bottle their emotions, and i think that makes them more dangerous than the jerk, because they can be more volatile if you rub them the wong way. and besides they're probably boring as well

+131961 Reply

mydaddidntpullout

In response to “And most of those "nice guys" just...

There's another probem right there. A lot of guys think "She only dates jerks"
He may not be a jerk. That doesn't really make much sense.
And yes, I find guys who think this way get really angry when their "Love is denied" and won't even talk to you anymore.
It's not the girls fault she's not attracted to you.

+14173 Reply

sighcantthinkofaname

In response to “Why not?

I'm a female. And I have been friendzoned. I don't expect the person I like to be a machine that I put kindness into until sex falls out. I just want more than he's giving me, and therefore feel frustrated. He knows I like him and will kiss me in private, but in public he acts like nothing's going on.

+242 Reply

realdizzy

In response to “I'm a female. And I have been friendzoned. I...

I hate to say this because I know nothing more about your situation than what I just read, but if he's abusing your feelings like that, he's not even being a good friend. It's happened to me before too.

+4621 Reply

midnightcookies midnightcookies

In response to “This doesn't really make sense.

Friendzoning is real. I think friendzoning is when a girl/guy plays with the emotions of the other party and then decide "oh, let's be friends" after they have gotten everything they have wanted out of them. So I call bullcrap whenever people are like " Oh he just wants sex and that's why he is nice to me"... then why are you his friend?

+22 Reply

Anonymous

Or are they?

-134 Reply

Chewbanshee Chewbanshee

In response to “Or are they?

Nope!

+561 Reply

Anonymous OP

This is what I think friendzoning is: http://xkcd.com/513/

+101227 Reply

swimlax swimlax

Friendzoning isn't about wanting to have sex with a girl, it's when the guy likes a girl so he's nice to her and wants to date her but is too afraid to ask her out. Then, when they are friends, the girl doesn't see him as anything else and dates a ton of other people and never likes the guy.

+18213 Reply

Statefarm

yeah! lets all generalise every friendzone scenario and conclude that it's always the nice guy/girl's fault! (sarcasm)... Just because you think you know what it means doesn't give you the right to say everyone who got friendzoned is at fault.

+1541 Reply

I_Fly_Sometimes I_Fly_Sometimes

In response to “yeah! lets all generalise every friendzone...

This isn't meant to be taken seriously. If it doesn't apply to a specific situation, don't use it for that situation. However, this does apply a lot of the time.

+374 Reply

Anonymous OP

In response to “This isn't meant to be taken seriously. If it...

i really don't want to sound like an ** but, How could you possibly know that it applies a lot of the time? i mean it's not like you surveyed everyone who was friendzoned to come up with a statistic to base your theory on. I'm not saying this to start an argument it just annoys me when people jump to conclusions. But i agree with it applying to specific situations so it's not like i'm being unreasonable. therefore i shall conclude my reply. And if i sound like an ** i apologise, it is not my intention.

+221 Reply

I_Fly_Sometimes I_Fly_Sometimes

In response to “i really don't want to sound like an ****...

A lot doesn't mean the majority. It's just that I see guys complain all the time about being friendzoned when they they weren't even really friends with the girl.

+143 Reply

Anonymous OP

Thank God someone posted this. "Friendzoning" is just misogynistic BS. The belief that treating a woman with basic kindness (hint: you should do this to everyone anyway) somehow means you "deserve" a relationship; that she "owes" you. The belief that any relationship other than a romantic/sexual is a failure, because why else would you bother being nice to a woman? It's just an overhyped sense of entitlement. Women do not owe you sex/relationships no matter how nice you are to them.

+110117740 Reply

Chou

In response to “Thank God someone posted this...

That makes sense, but even though it's not her fault, it's still very demoralizing when you like a girl and she says she just wants to be friends.

+572 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “That makes sense, but even though it's not...

Just because you like a girl and aren't a scumbag does not grant you instant access to her ****. If you are nice to someone it should be because you are a good person and want to be nice, not some ulterior motive which completely cheapens it. The girl can't help if she has feelings for the guy our not anyway. I've really had enough of hearing about this.

+192121 Reply

Suzywao Suzywao

In response to “Just because you like a girl and aren't a...

First of all, Guys are nice to plenty of girls who we have no interest in dating.

I don't mean to blame girls at all for friendzoning us, just read my other comment.

+22 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “First of all, Guys are nice to plenty of...

I'm not talking about you or guys in general or even people I general, I'm sorry if you saw my comment as an attack or directed at you, I didn't mean to offend. I have just heard enough BS from my friends about being "friend zoned" that I am sick of it. If you put the effort into a friendship for the sake of friendship, you wouldn't be such a bitter little shit about it when he/she doesn't want to date you. (Again, not you personally.) A lot of people I know and have spoken to felt entitled to a relationship after putting the effort in, and that isn't how it works. One person can't make that decision for two people.

+1111 Reply

Suzywao Suzywao

In response to “That makes sense, but even though it's not...

I don't like how everyone assumes that friendzoning will be a girl rejecting a guy. Guys do the same thing to girls sometimes.

+66 Reply

realdizzy

I think when guys are friendzoned, we don't feel like the girl owes us anything, we're just upset because even though we tried so hard, we still couldn't "get the girl".

From our point of view, in a moment of weakness, sometimes we can't help but blame the girl, but obviously we get over that, and usually accept the friendzone after a few days.

Also, you should probably provide a more specific citation than just "tumblr.com" ¯_(ツ)_/¯

+77 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “I think when guys are friendzoned, we don't...

I don't know where it originated. It's typically in a meme format, and I didn't want to give any one blog the credit because they likely didn't make it up themselves either.

+132 Reply

Anonymous OP

In response to “I don't know where it originated. It's...

You could cite dearblankpleaseblank because every other post there is someone whining about being friend zoned.

+44 Reply

Lkun Lkun

To me it's not about sex. It if were about sex, then I would put all efforts in getting sex and not getting to know the person. My only focus would be one night stands and I'd probably go to bars to 'pick up chicks' or some shit. It's not about that. It's about building a relationship and getting to know the person before I decide to date them.

Today's typical dating system doesn't make any sense to me. 1) Girl and guy meet. 2) They flirt a bit and exchange numbers. 3) They go on a date or two and if things go well, they're considered to be "talking" (whatever the **** that means). 4) They decide to date without knowing each other for more than a few months.

Yet when it comes dating a person that you've known for years everybody gets all ** uptight and starts worrying about the friendship that will eventually fade anyway. Hence the reason the "friend zone" exists. So friendzoning isn't because of OP's reason, but because it doesn't make any sense why best friends would choose to date other people rather than the person they're probably most compatible with: their best friend**

+91122 Reply

StickCaveman StickCaveman

In response to “To me it's not about sex. It if were about...

This assumes that people want to date their best friends, or are most romantically compatible with them. But friendship and a romantic relationship are completely different. For one, there has to be sexual chemistry in the latter and not the former. Two, you might be willing to overlook some things in a friend that you wouldn't in a partner, and vice versa. So your argument falls apart.

+44 Reply

Anonymous

Any man who calls himself a 'nice guy' or 'former nice guy' I immediately stray away from. Men like that are usually the most hypocritical, insecure, misogynistic, manipulative bastards out there who believe they deserve a woman's legs to open at their beck and call because they don't beat women. Honestly, you're better off dating a jerk. At least jerks are open about their assholery.

+252726 Reply

kipkayify kipkayify

In response to “Any man who calls himself a 'nice guy' or...

I used to think I was a nice guy but you're so spot on.

+771 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “Any man who calls himself a 'nice guy' or...

Wow, so immediately every guy is a jerk. It's just about who is open with it.... that is really unfair. You have every right to keep your guard up but generalizing isn't right.

0 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “Any man who calls himself a 'nice guy' or...

No, I said "every man who is like that". Which is true - men who label themselves "Nice Guys" are like that. I love men, I just hate self-proclaimed Nice Guys.

0 Reply

kipkayify kipkayify

This post bugs me deeply, because it's implying that all guys are secretly **** who only wanna befriend women for sex later on.

+693 Reply

Handsy Handsy

In response to “This post bugs me deeply, because it's...

When in that post did it ever say that this applies to all guys? I know PLENTY of actual, legitimately classy, good guys. They just don't complain about this ** because they know that relationships between guys and girls can sometimes remain friendships, and sometimes it's for the best. They just aren't the object of this post. This post is for the who call themselves "nice guys" because they are "friends" with women (but not really, because the only reason they're doing this is because they want in the girl's pants) and don't see why the girl doesn't want their **.

+132 Reply

midnightcookies midnightcookies

I don't think it counts as being friend-zoned unless the girl knows for a fact that you want to be more than friends. That means either the guy asked her out or did something incredibly obvious that he likes her (Valentine's and other romantic stuff). If she honestly has no idea that the guy has feelings for her, then he wasn't friend-zoned. Instead he I'm-a-pussy-zoned himself.

(I realize that girls can be friend-zoned, too.)

+1212 Reply

ThatDylanGuy ThatDylanGuy

In response to “I don't think it counts as being friend-zoned...

If she knows you want to be more than friends, it doesn't change anything. If a person offers you friendship and you wouldn't be happy with that, don't accept it. But don't blame the person for not being able to give you what you want. And don't accept their offer of friendship and then **** because it's not what you wanted.

Also, speaking as a bi woman, I hate people who expect gestures to be "obvious". There are so many ways things can be misinterpreted, and I've had people accuse me in the past of being presumptuous because, after feeling like they were romantically interested in me, I gently let them down. If you are mature and like someone, talk it out people. It ain't that hard, and people of both sexes like confidence.

+11 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “If she knows you want to be more than...

I'm not sure if you were trying to disagree with me or not. And some gestures are definitely obvious. If I show up in front of a girl's door with flowers, chocolates, and a bear or something else as cheesy as that, she's gonna realize that I like her. If not, then she might not be very bright and I might need to reconsider who I pursue romantically.

+11 Reply

ThatDylanGuy ThatDylanGuy

I agree with this post wholeheartedly. Respect and kindness are a given for a relationship, not something extra...

As for why so many women fall for "jerks", it's typically because they bring something else to the table: they're hot, quirky, confident, or interesting. Generally you only know after a while whether a person is nice or not, so it's very possible to fall for a jerk. That doesn't make women crazy or schizo.

+462 Reply

Anonymous

Generally, if a guy is complaining to his buddies about being friendzoned. There is a difference between accepting that you're in the friend zone andthis type of friendzoning. I know a guy now who tells everyone up down, left and right that he is a nice guy, but he always complains about being in the friend zone with me and some other girls, and then acts that because he's nice, they should automatically want to date him.

Well done OP, you've captured the ultimate friendzined douche bag.

+121 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “Generally, if a guy is complaining to his...

Thank you! But to be honest, I didn't make this up.

-11 Reply

Anonymous OP

This is my theory: friendzoning is the result of two opposing, inverse beliefs, neither of which is particularly logical. First, the guy assumes the the girl owes him sex/a relationship because he gave her kindness. the girl assumes that the guy OWES her kindness because she's attractive. Honestly, I think the male argument here is slightly less illogical than the female because kindness is an act while attractiveness is a gift. However, just to be clear, I'm not saying all women are entitled and all men are greedy. This is a generalization, so by definition it's not always true.

-11 Reply

Nigel Foster-Jones

In response to “This is my theory: friendzoning is the result...

It's the guy's fault if he's only kind because she's pretty. And isn't it simply the right thing to do to be kind to everyone? I don't think that expecting kindness it too much to ask. And it's typically the woman labeled as greedy (for wanting kindness and friendship without putting out) and the man labeled as entitled (for assuming that her body can be earned and that being kind should merit him a relationship or sex). I don't think the girl is at fault here at all.

011 Reply

Anonymous OP

No shit, kindness coins don't work but if you put in enough **** coins sex will come out.

-112 Reply

ParanoiAgent

Men are not machines that you put sex coins into until money falls out, amirite?

+221 Reply

Anonymous

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