Suggest A Photo

You disagreed. (Undo) (Show Numbers)

50% agree
50% disagree
Post
  • Topics:IntellectualZeitgeist
  • Featured on the home page on Nov 29th 2017
  • Post Of The Day on Nov 18th 2017

Agreed

VicZincSynysterGatesBlewynanifailZonkeyBallsSkr3wBallSunny_the_skepticPhilboydStudge

Disagreed

TiffaneeLorraineTwevlehundredRaineTwelvehundredGunTrishThinkerbell

Favourited

dru18BozetteOzSurferWill_JanitorThinkerbellZonkeyBallsRoosterSynysterGates
OK I'll say it, it is all men. If you say 'no' we should respect that and stop trying. If we try again after you said no, you have permission to be pissed off. But you can't blame us for trying and if you don't say 'no' -it's not fair to bring it up 20 years later.

Top Comment

Not all men, vic.
Have you ever been groped, unwantingly, by an aggressive lesbian?
I have.

People dont always ask...

+11119 See / Add Replies

Carla Carla

Comments

Not all men, vic.
Have you ever been groped, unwantingly, by an aggressive lesbian?
I have.

People dont always ask...

+11119 Reply

Carla Carla

In response to “Not all men, vic. Have you ever been groped...

Carla, while I see where you are coming from, back in my college days 200 years ago, if I was out with a woman, and didn't try the old accidentally brush my hand against her breast at some time while we were kissing, she'd have been either happy that she thought I respected her, angry that I was so dull witted as to not see that she wanted me to, or that I was secretly gay. It's not easy being a guy sometimes. <s> If I'd asked her if I could touch her breasts... that "moment" would be gone forever. <s>
I'm not talking about walking into a room, scoping out the women, walking over to one, grabbing a breast and saying, "nice shoes, wanna screw??"

+664 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo

In response to “Carla, while I see where you are coming from...

Being on a date, making out..all that is different. It is when a person bulls their way in, without permission. Being grabbed and groped, it happens more than any one cares to admit.

+665 Reply

Carla Carla

In response to “Being on a date, making out..all that is...

I know it happens. I'm old, and have never done it, or even thought of doing it, in my life. (well that's not entirely true.. I thought about it as an adolescent 13 year old when looking at the head cheerleader, who was a senior, back in HS, but that's about it)
I did get groped by a a guys wife under the table at a dinner I attended once with about 20 people. Scared the hell out of me, because I didn't know what to do.

+664 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo

In response to “I know it happens. I'm old, and have never...

As i said, it isnt just men.
I could never try something such as that. It isnt in my wheelhouse to intentionally put someone in that kind of position.
But....many have no problem with it.
Lack of an off switch, i reckon

+665 Reply

Carla Carla

In response to “As i said, it isnt just men. I could never...

It's embarrassing when that action turns the switch to an on position under the table.

+554 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo

In response to “Being on a date, making out..all that is...

I understand where you're coming from Carla. I have had that happen to me by strangers and it really wasn't nice at all, especially at work.

+444 Reply

OzSurfer OzSurfer

In response to “I understand where you're coming from Carla...

No...not a compliment. Not nice.

+444 Reply

Carla Carla

In response to “No...not a compliment. Not nice.

I was a drink waiter in a high class restaurant when I was 19 and i nearly lost my job over it. So unfair.

+444 Reply

OzSurfer OzSurfer

In response to “I was a drink waiter in a high class...

It's never about ****. It's about power and control. And it is not an exclusive, mens only club.

+444 Reply

Carla Carla

In response to “It's never about ****. It's about power and...

At the time I thought it was just a group of drunk women acting like guys but as you said, maybe it was about power and control? What was more upsetting was, that when I reported it to my boss he said to me, are you gay? and i said... well no.. and he said.. well you've got nothing to worry about, get back to work :(

+333 Reply

OzSurfer OzSurfer

In response to “At the time I thought it was just a group of...

Pathetic. Not all men are dogs, dallas.you and others here are proof of that. And all women are not in perpetual heat. Im glad you got through it and maintained your integrity.

+333 Reply

Carla Carla

In response to “Pathetic. Not all men are dogs, dallas.you...

Thanks Carla I appreciate that. At the time when I was groped I accidentally tipped a tray full of drinks onto the friend of the person who groped me who was having her 60th birthday party. I was so embarrassed I thought I was going to die and I needed some support from somewhere but I got none. I ended up quitting my job soon after and getting an office job. When I have mentioned this to a lot of males at the time they thought it was hilarious and I should have enjoyed it, but I just don't understand why. It did make me think how girls felt who were groped a lot like that in their jobs .. much more than I was.

+443 Reply

OzSurfer OzSurfer

In response to “Thanks Carla I appreciate that. At the time...

It certainly happens to women more often. But, then, more men are in those more powerful positions. Even if it is the women at an electrical contractors office, for example. Women in those positions deal with crap, often.
But that doesnt make your experience any less traumatic and valid. If nothing else, cause mistrust of others in those same positions. Can induce people to become very cynical.

+333 Reply

Carla Carla

In response to “Carla, while I see where you are coming from...

This is such a great comment Jim, I have been in just those situations many times when I was in my 20's and I never did seem to get it right. You really explained it perfectly, you have to some how just know how far to go, or not to go when your on a date or you'll be considered either boring or maybe gay for not going far enough, or not respecting her for trying to go further. For me it always worked best when the girl took the lead which was hardly ever.

You can see why I love a stable long term relationship. I mean who would want to sign up for what we've just described (eek)

+444 Reply

OzSurfer OzSurfer

In response to “Not all men, vic. Have you ever been groped...

I hear you and I am not talking about groping just making a move in whatever form that takes.

+222 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “Not all men, vic. Have you ever been groped...

I wouldn't mind being groped by an aggressive lesbian (biggrin)

0 Reply

Sunny_the_skeptic Sunny_the_skeptic

Many females, especially if they are young, are too intimidated to say "no".

My advice? Everyone, just keep your hands to yourself, and there should not be any problems.

+997 Reply

dru18 dru18

In response to “Many females, especially if they are young...

I disagree. All the women when I was young were very well versed in saying no to me.

+665 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo

no it's not ALL Men

I refuse that notion

try this
Man's Task... make safe the path for Woman to walk without Fear

Woman's purpose
to Bring forthe Life
a father's wisdom from a fishboat

how did Rob Roy say it?
All Men are Kings
not all kings are men

he was speaking of Honor

as was my dad

+444 Reply

Neanderthal_Momdoer Neanderthal_Momdoer

In response to “no it's not ALL Men I refuse that...

All men try. Some more crudely than others. If we didn't try there would be no babies.

When a man tries crudely and is rejected he needs to move on, and perhaps refine his technic

+332 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “All men try. Some more crudely than others...

Lol @ "if we didn't try there would be no babies." Vic only laughing because it reminded me/was similar to what my husband would say to me while trying to convince an exhausted me at 4 AM to "make love" (he's a morning person who leaves for work at 5 am) after I came back to bed after feeding our 6 week old baby her 3 am feeding(he knew that 6 weeks was when we could have s e x again), knowing I had to be up in 2 hours to wake up our 5 and 7 year old children to make them breakfast, make their lunches for school, drive them to their 2 different schools(with our new baby in tow) while also in between feeding our baby her 6 or 7 am feeding...where my blue collar husband GOT IT and RESPECTED that I was not interested in having s e x anymore at 4 AM now that I was up every 3 hours feeding our new baby.....eh whereas the supposed wicked smaaaaaat college educated, powerful men in DC, in Hollyweird, in sports and in our news media all lack the basic COMMON SENSE that when a women says NO, that she means NO.

+553 Reply

Gronk17 Gronk17

In response to “Lol @ "if we didn't try there would be no...

Good for him.
Yes! If the girl says no, it means no.
Can't blame the guy for trying (unless she's a child). But after he gets shut down he has to stop.

+111 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “Good for him. Yes! If the girl says no, it...

Those trying to go beyond 1st base while in the middle of making out with someone they just met or with someone they have been dating is par for the course and always has been no matter what decade you grew up in OR ones sexual preference....where it's COMMON SENSE that if that person keeps on TRYING to go further EVEN AFTER clearly being told NO, is a clear indicator that the person you're making out with or dating is one f'd up/messed up in the head individual.
But FINALLY here we are in 2017 having OVERPAID elected politicians, as well as our OVERPAID celebrity SJW's(on both sides) finally being exposed as the scum sexual predators they are.

Did you happen to see loud and proud Feminist Lena Dunham's twitter post(I'm not on Twitter but it's all over the internet) of Lena Dunham actually DEFENDING her guy friend who's been accused of RAPING a then 17 year old actress 5 years ago, who filed a police report and also took a lie detector that she passed. Dunham is getting hammered on social media by the left BECAUSE of her as a supposed SWJ for women is now NOT believing this victim of rape, but is instead DEFENDING her "feminist" guy friend because SHE knows her friend would never rape a woman.

Lena Dunham's career in HOLLYWEIRD and her credibility as a women's right activist is thankfully over.... I hope she invested wisely the millions of dollars she's made in Hollyweird while being their liberal darling/advocate for women's rights.

+111 Reply

Gronk17 Gronk17

In response to “Those trying to go beyond 1st base while in...

I'd never heard of Lena Dunham before so I looked her up. For what it's worth, she did issue an apology. I know. Whatever. (smile)

+111 Reply

PhilboydStudge PhilboydStudge

In response to “I'd never heard of Lena Dunham before so I...

She issued an apology ONLY because she was getting hammered on the internet by her fellow liberal feminists for her being a blatant hypocrite with her as a supposed feminist NOT believing this woman.. just because the sexual assaulter of this woman was her feminist GUY friend, ya know who as a GUY is a women's right activist...but a sexual predator of women, as was Lena Dunham who sexually "experimented" on her 7 year old sister.

A black woman who went to college with the privileged white Lena who came from a wealthy family, who eventually wrote for Lena's Lenny crap...just recently BRAVELY came forward to let Lena's followers know what a hypocrite Lena really is and what it was like for her as a black woman dealing with Lena.

+111 Reply

Gronk17 Gronk17

No, I don't believe it is all men....just some jerks.... No, I have never been groped, but if I had I would have handled it ASAP and made sure it never happened again. I've been flirted with and even asked out on a date by some guys who knew I was married..... all it took was...."I'm happily married, buzz off." And that ended it.

But when you're a teenager you're not so sure as to what to do. I can see why they didn't come forth when they were young. He was a powerful man, and he could have ruined their lives Now it's their turn to turn the tables on this pedophile.

+665 Reply

StarzAbove StarzAbove

In response to “No, I don't believe it is all men....just...

OK all I am saying is if they say no, the man needs to stop and never try again.

+222 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “OK all I am saying is if they say no, the man...

And I agree! No means no.

+111 Reply

StarzAbove StarzAbove

In response to “OK all I am saying is if they say no, the man...

No, that's not all you said.

You also said, "...and if you don't say 'no' -it's not fair to bring it up 20 years later."

You overlooked the intimidation factor.

0 Reply

Thinkerbell Thinkerbell

In response to “No, that's //not// all you said. You also...

I did. I understand that some people are too shy/timid/inexperienced to say no. I think we need to train our children (daughters and sons) to say "NO", and to say it loud and clear without shame.

Now answer me this: if the advance was
-age appropriate
-neither party said 'no'
-both people were conscious
-no one was held against their will
-no one pushed back
-both people smiled afterwards
How is it fair to bring it up 20 years later as unwanted attention?

+111 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “I did. I understand that some people are too...

Of course it isn't fair to bring it up 20 years later if it was in fact truly consensual.

And by truly consensual, I mean there was no coercion of any kind, e.g., loss of job, etc., either expressed or implied.

+111 Reply

Thinkerbell Thinkerbell

I disagree. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed on both counts.

+333 Reply

Bozette Bozette

Men have got to learn no means no and if you don't like it go try someone who will say yes. Or just pay a business transaction only that way.

+665 Reply

LorraineTwevlehundredRaineTwelvehundred LorraineTwevlehundredRaineTwelvehundred

In response to “Men have got to learn no means no and if you...

Loraine, no man who keeps on going after he hears " no " is not mistaking intentions or misreading signals, neither do muggers, killers or any other criminal.

0 Reply

Sunny_the_skeptic Sunny_the_skeptic

All men and women alike should know that "no" means "no", that is a given. There is no harm in flirting, there is no harm in pursuing someone. But when they show or tell you that they are not interested in your advances and you persist despite their objections, you are crossing a line.

If you don't say no, then the issue is with you, not with the other person. Regretting an encounter that you consented to does not mean you were assaulted or raped.

+775 Reply

Thibault Thibault

In response to “All men and women alike should know that...

Well said. That's what I was trying to say, exactly.

+221 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “Well said. That's what I was trying to say...

You also said the victim would "have permission to be pissed off"; no one needs "permission to be pissed" ever, and especially not after being victimized a second time!

+332 Reply

PartyOfOne PartyOfOne

In response to “You also said the victim would "have...

I stand corrected.

0 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “All men and women alike should know that...

You aren't taking into account coerced consent when a man or group of them intimidate women into complying if they don't go along with them for **** out of fear for their well-being or loss of life; that happens everyday, throughout the world.

+111 Reply

PartyOfOne PartyOfOne

In response to “You aren't taking into account coerced...

I would submit that consent cannot be coerced. The victim might say the word "yes" and still not consent - it is a sticky wicket on both sides. How can we know what either party intended or believed in their hearts?

0 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

I have done things, that I'm not very proud of. When I was younger and really drunk, I might have groped a bit. I admit this freely and without any outside pressure, because I know it's wrong. And I'm sorry, but sexuality and the drive behind it are sometimes a bit strong on the weaker individuals, such as myself. So, yes, I have acted like an idiot, but as I've grown older, I have tried to become more civilized, which is something that Trump wouldn't understand. Sorry, couldn't say "no" to the opportunity to comment on him. It's none of my business, since I'm a foreigner.

+222 Reply

ZonkeyBalls ZonkeyBalls

I think all these complaints from 20 years ago or sooner, we're not as bad as people are making out...I don't think anyone touching another person without permission is right, but I would imagine a good percentage of things that happened, were minor and now as the complaints come rolling in, many are using it to get compensation....

+111 Reply

JD JD

In response to “I think all these complaints from 20 years...

Maybe JD. Or maybe they have been carrying the burden for years and now feel safe letting it out. Either way I agree that touching another person without permission crosses some line. Do it twice and it is clearly assault, even if it is two different women. In my heart I have to give a pass to the first time a guy does it to the first girl as an awkward learning experience. If he doesn't learn, shame on him.

Women (girls) should be taught from an early age to say "no". "I don't like that", "Stop it!" Say it loud and say it clear.

+333 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

In response to “Maybe JD. Or maybe they have been carrying...

I can image years ago touching a women's knee in a friendly way and no one thought anything of it, but now they realize we can get something out of this..compensation ...I remember when I was 15 and I was at a holiday camp and the entertainment were well known stars and one of them tried to get me back to his chalet and he touched me sexually, but I hit him and run away and he never spoke to me again....I could have quite easily reported him, but I never....

+111 Reply

JD JD

No, Vic, it's not all men. The simple way to solve your dilemma is to let her make the first move. I have never groped, grabbed, fondled anyone that didn't make damned sure that I knew they were receptive to such activity.

+222 Reply

Gun Gun

In response to “No, Vic, it's not all men. The simple way to...

GUN - Great idea, probably the women today would be good with that - me on the other hand, I wait for a guy to make the first move, BUT YES men can learn to ask and tell the lady it is up to her. Now that will make an immature person angry to know they aren't going to get what they want immediately .(sry)

+222 Reply

LorraineTwevlehundredRaineTwelvehundred LorraineTwevlehundredRaineTwelvehundred

The thing is Vic no one can say what exactly happened years ago. Hell I don't even remember what I ate 10 days ago. For some reason society has decided to believe any coming sexual abuse / misconduct cases no matter the details. The **** is both a gift and a curse.

+111 Reply

Sunny_the_skeptic Sunny_the_skeptic

SILENCE IS NOT CONSENT. Please for the love of all that is holy understand that fact.

+222 Reply

Trish Trish

In response to “SILENCE IS NOT CONSENT. Please for the love...

Trish, I don't condone any unwanted advances - but please understand that there has to be a first attempt. No is a valid response, and I for one will walk away at the first no.

Just say no. And teach your wives and sisters and daughters to say no. Silence sometimes means yes.

0 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc OP

I don't see why this is so hard to understand.

Simply consider the situation before making any advances to anyone. You're the one initiating contact it's not the other person's responsibility to make sure you react appropriately.

And who would have ever thought this rule would be necessary, but apparently now it is.

Don't ever masturbate into a potted plant!

EVER!

+222 Reply

Chris_PHAET_Demon Chris_PHAET_Demon

If you did something bad and it takes me 20 years to summon up the courage to talk about it, it is still valid.

+111 Reply

Tiffanee Tiffanee

Please login or create an account to make a comment.

Sort comments by: Replies Date Score Loves

Find out your friends' opinions

Amirite is the premier opinion-based social network where people from all around the world discover, debate and discuss today's hottest issues. Share your perspective to the world and interact with like-minded individuals on breaking news, hot topics and controversial issues now!

With that many angles, the discussions on Amirite will open your eyes to a panoramic view of your world that you won't get anywhere else, allowing you to see the big picture and discuss it.

Every opinion matters on Amirite.

Sign up to have your opinion heard!

It only takes a second.
Connect with Facebook, Twitter or Google.

or create an account with your email...

Sign Up Already Have An Account?

Login to your Amirite account...

Login Forgot Your Details? Need An Account?

Enter your email address and we'll email you your account details.

Send Details Back To Login Form

Login using...

Login

Forgotten username or password?
We'll send you your username and a new password.

Email Address

Login

Sign up to have your opinion heard!

Show posts as Grid List

By creating an account you indicate that you have read and agree to abide by our rules.

Create My Account