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Good question

PhilboydStudgeZaraZooperRoosterBubSynysterGates_Howler_

They don’t want you to know

DWFDandyDonSukiesnow

Maybe they are hiding something

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VicZincPiper2

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How do you really know someone for a long time yet not know anything about them?

Explained by Rose_Bud...

We all have friends whether we have known them since childhood or met at teenagers or yet met as adults. Do we really know this person or do we only know what they want us to know?

Top Comment

I think it centers around the word, 'know'. The same word - know could mean I have developed a relationship with someone, or I met someone, or I spent some time with someone, or I'm simply friendly with someone. I'm sure there are many other nuances that could be added.

You're right, we really only 'know' what the other person is willing to reveal. The more time you spend with someone, the more opportunity you have to get to 'know' them. When they act and react consistently, as expected, then I feel like I 'know' them better. Sadly, very few can make it past 2 or three get togethers before their hidden agendas or inconsistencies start to fall apart. But, even then I 'know' something about them.

+665 See / Add Replies

Budwick Budwick

Comments

I think it centers around the word, 'know'. The same word - know could mean I have developed a relationship with someone, or I met someone, or I spent some time with someone, or I'm simply friendly with someone. I'm sure there are many other nuances that could be added.

You're right, we really only 'know' what the other person is willing to reveal. The more time you spend with someone, the more opportunity you have to get to 'know' them. When they act and react consistently, as expected, then I feel like I 'know' them better. Sadly, very few can make it past 2 or three get togethers before their hidden agendas or inconsistencies start to fall apart. But, even then I 'know' something about them.

+665 Reply

Budwick Budwick

In response to “I think it centers around the word, 'know'...

I think it’s all based on what the person wants you to know, there are people who can be married for let’s say 20 yrs or more then one day you realize your have no idea who that person really is. Thanks Bud for your response.

+112 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

I guess it's just how inquisitive you are and how willing they are to tell you about themselves. I have a couple of friends like that that keep to themselves and hardly say anything about themselves. I can usually tell from people if they aren't saying much. Kind of an instinct.

+555 Reply

Rooster Rooster

In response to “I guess it's just how inquisitive you are and...

No matter how inquisitive a person is anyone can say anything. I guess I don’t understand some people maybe we aren’t suppose too who knows. As always thanks Rooster.

+111 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

It is impossible to know anything. You can only guess and hope you are right.

+444 Reply

VicZinc VicZinc

In response to “It is impossible to know anything. You can...

Again Vic a good play on your wording. I would say instinct would play a part. But a woman’s intuition says a lot. Thanks!

+222 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

If someone doesn't want you to know something, they'll probably never tell.

Another scenario...you never know when someone can snap.

Leaving only replies of "He/she was always such a nice person".

+554 Reply

DandyDon DandyDon

In response to “If someone doesn't want you to know...

You said that well Don and I’m in agreement with you. Thank you!

+222 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

In response to “You said that well Don and I’m in...

You're welcomed!..

+111 Reply

DandyDon DandyDon

It depends how close you are to the person. If I had the occasion to watch the person's behavior, in good times and in bad, then I grow more confident I understand them.

+443 Reply

PhilboydStudge PhilboydStudge

In response to “It depends how close you are to the person...

That is what I use to think but not anymore. Thank you Phil

+222 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

You don't. It is not possible to really know someone for a long time, and not know "anything" about them.

+443 Reply

Piper2 Piper2

In response to “You don't. It is not possible to really...

You only know as much as the person allows you to k ow. Thanks Piper!

+221 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

Easy. That's what usually happens with serial killers. Such a nice guy.

+222 Reply

Sukiesnow Sukiesnow

In response to “Easy. That's what usually happens with serial...

Trust no one basically...Thanks Sukie

+111 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

There are different levels of "friendships". I am friendly with neighbors who have been my neighbors for over 20 years, but I know relatively little about their personal lives, their hopes, dreams, desires, etc. The same is true of many people I have known even longer. With others, I have become fast friends very quickly.

People only share what they wish others to know, true, but that doesn't preclude people from knowing more about others than that which they choose to share. Sometimes others tell me things about people that they haven't shared themselves. Often I can deduce things simply because of what I observe in the time we spend together. I think we all have something we hold back even with those we are closest to, not because we wish to deceive or hide anything necessarily, maybe just something from the past that we regret or wish to forget, or just a need for some small measure of autonomy.

Personally, I am a rather private person, but can be very open about some things, too. It depends on the what and the who involved. I like my privacy, so I respect that of others. If I know something the person chose not to tell me, I keep quiet about it. I mind my business and generally associate with people who mind theirs.

+665 Reply

Bozette Bozette

In response to “There are different levels of...

Guess I was referring more like on a personal level, didn't explain it will but I see exactly what your saying and I could say I'm the same way. ive had the same neighbor for just about the same as you and you are right I don't know much about either one...Thanks Bozette for your response..

+222 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

I have a lot of professional contacts I've known for many years but know nothing personal about them.

+443 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo

In response to “I have a lot of professional contacts I've...

And what about someone very close, kind of a personal level perhaps...

+222 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

In response to “And what about someone very close, kind of a...

I have a very small circle of close friends. I'm comfortable with that.

+332 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo

In response to “I have a very small circle of close friends...

I can understand, thanks Jim

+222 Reply

Rose_Bud Rose_Bud OP

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