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JustJimColoRoosterSynysterGatesWill_JanitorCarlaSunny_the_skepticPhilboydStudgeprimeiroMashaAdaSofiaTiffanee

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How will we face death when it comes?

Explained by JustJimColo...

I have a friend/co-worker I've know for about 15 years. He isn't the kind of friend I socialize with but he is a person I've always respected for his knowledge, dedication, and he has been a true pleasure to work with. We both had the same Dr last year when we had spinal fusion surgery and became a little closer because of that. While I got better after the surgery, he got worse. (It had nothing to do with the surgery as we later found out) He is only 39 and has two kids under 10. In January, they told him he has ALS. Last month, his lung capacity went down by 30% in a three week period. He is dying. It is doubtful if he will live more than a few more weeks. There is a military retirement ceremony for him this weekend. He is being medically retired so his wife and kids will still get some benefits. I can't believe the courage he has shown throughout these past few months. He has not complained once. He spent the time putting his affairs in order both at work as well as for his family. This really made me wonder if I would have the courage and composure this young man has demonstrated, if I had to face what he is facing. I'll be seeing him at the ceremony on Saturday, most likely, for the last time, and I really don't know what I can say to him. I'm not looking for advice here or anything like that. I just felt a need to say something about him. The courage we see in others can have a big impact on how we look at ourselves.

Top Comment

Very good Jim. Although I have no fear of death, this seems like a very brave young man and you should be glad that you know him. I would consider it an honor to know someone like him! I have in the past.

+121211 See / Add Replies

Rooster Rooster

Comments

Very good Jim. Although I have no fear of death, this seems like a very brave young man and you should be glad that you know him. I would consider it an honor to know someone like him! I have in the past.

+121211 Reply

Rooster Rooster

In response to “Very good Jim. Although I have no fear of...

My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made the post about, passed away today at his home surrounded by his family. (Yes, that was his real name.)

+111 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made...

I'm very sorry to hear that!

+111 Reply

Rooster Rooster

That was really nice, he's lucky to have a friend like you. I only fear death because I don't want to leave my kids behind, especially now.

+887 Reply

SynysterGates SynysterGates

I knew a guy that developed ALS and lasted only 1 year. He and his wife were about my age and she had retired as an RN. She said it was the worst possible death she could imagine because the mind is working perfectly but the body just gradually quits. I saw him about every 2 weeks during that last year and he showed a lot of class. He never complained about anything. He just seemed to appreciate being around people. I don't know how I will face death, but it is something we will all have to do at some point.

+10108 Reply

Will_Janitor Will_Janitor

He seems a strong guy and you a good friend...I actually believe when you are near the end, it's easier than we think , it's something you can adjust to...the hardest thing must be saying good bye to family...I'm not frightened of dying, I know it will happen and I have strong beliefs in life going on....

+887 Reply

JD JD

In response to “He seems a strong guy and you a good...

I agree that it might be easier as we get close to the end, but I'm looking at that as a person who is getting closer to having completed a full life.

+555 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “I agree that it might be easier as we get...

I'm closer.....lol

+444 Reply

JD JD

In response to “I'm closer.....lol

Ever notice that as we get older and hear of a death of someone we know, one of the first things we do, is subtract our age from the one who died.

+111 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “Ever notice that as we get older and hear of...

Very true, but now I'm finding so many younger than me are dying ....

+111 Reply

JD JD

The most direct answer I can personally contribute to the question asked in the post is that I have concluded that I can face my own death much more readily than I can/have faced it with a loved one, or close friend.

I have even hoped and prayed that I could die instead of a loved one.

The problem is that instead of that being something that might appear to be admirable or honorable on the surface, I see it as somewhat selfish on my part.

For instance, if I could be the one to die instead of the one I love, then I would not have to go through the pain and grief associated with having to experience the loss of the loved one (which can be extremely painful for a long time in numerous ways).

God bless you and your friend Mr. JJC.
Don't know him at all...Don't know you except through this site.
If he is anything like what I perceive you to be, then it is going to be a tough loss of one admirable man to you and this world.

Thank you both for your military service.

+887 Reply

_Howler_ _Howler_

In response to “The most direct answer I can personally...

My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made the post about, passed away today at his home surrounded by his family. (Yes, that was his real name.)

+111 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made...

God bless you both Mr. JJC.

I pray God will provide comfort and peace to his deservedly proud family and friends during this time of grief.

Thanks for letting me know.

+111 Reply

_Howler_ _Howler_

Death is scary, it's the end of all we know, if he's toughing that out then he has my respect. Awaiting certain death, being killed by your own body, it's one of my fears.

+776 Reply

Sunny_the_skeptic Sunny_the_skeptic

Two thoughts my friend.
1. Life is full of both color and black and white....and as we all know, it holds no guarantees, so may we all play the cards we're dealt with an espirit de corps.
2. From me to him.....thank you for leading from the front, for being resolute, visionary, and unwavering in his devotion to both his country and his family. May the good Lord bless his house.

That we could all have his balance and bravery.

+555 Reply

Freeranger Freeranger

In response to “Two thoughts my friend. 1. Life is full of...

My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made the post about, passed away today at his home surrounded by his family. (Yes, that was his real name.)

0 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made...

We ride the wave of life until it feathers out on the beach. Warm thoughts and prayers go out to both he and his family. I'm confident his life will have touched others as an example and that one of them will pay it forward in their own as a result.

+111 Reply

Freeranger Freeranger

I am speechless Jim.
I've never know anyone with courage and strength like you've described.

+665 Reply

Budwick Budwick

In response to “I am speechless Jim. I've never know anyone...

My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made the post about, passed away today at his home surrounded by his family. (Yes, that was his real name.)

0 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made...

May he rest in peace.

+111 Reply

Budwick Budwick

I would tell him exactly what you've told us - how you admire his courage, his resolution to be strong and his composure in the face of such adversity.

+444 Reply

Linnster Linnster

In response to “I would tell him exactly what you've told us...

My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made the post about, passed away today at his home surrounded by his family. (Yes, that was his real name.)

+11 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made...

I'm so sorry to hear this. May he rest in peace. ALS is such a debilitating illness. I hate to say it, but at least he's no longer in pain and his friends and family can remember him when he was young and vital. Treasure the good memories.

+111 Reply

Linnster Linnster

In response to “I'm so sorry to hear this. May he rest in...

I agree. I'm both glad and sad that he went so quickly.

+11 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “I agree. I'm both glad and sad that he went...

I understand that. Sometimes, when we wish someone to remain with us, it's out of selfish reasons and I get that, too.

+111 Reply

Linnster Linnster

I'm sorry to hear this Jim. I have a 59 year old friend who was recently diagnosed with stage 4 glioblastoma (brain cancer). The prognosis is not good.

The first time I went to visit him we started talking about the disease. I said this it's very uncommon, isn't it. He told me 2-3 people out of 100,000 get it. There was a pause, and I was thinking things like WTF?!? This absolutely sucks.

It's as if he was reading my mind. He said something like, hey, lightning struck. That's the deal. Then he started taking about his treatment options. He's remaining very positive, though he too is doing things I consider "putting things in order". His attitude is helping others cope. It's amazing.

Yea, I like to think that I'm not afraid of dying. I think one of the hardest parts for me will be the feeling of helplessness with regards to my family. I will no longer be there for my wife and daughters.

I'm really happy to hear that his family will be taken care of. I would guess that provides him some comfort.

+444 Reply

PhilboydStudge PhilboydStudge

I have known for a long time that I have certain conditions that are always eventually fatal. By now I think I know which one it's going to be, and if I'm right I just won't wake up one morning.

My decision has been that I will make no effort to postpone that day, since all available treatments amount to wishing and hoping. I also learned that doctors don't go to doctors. Knowing what they know, they choose to stay home and die with dignity. That agrees with my feelings, so I don't go to doctors either. I have made arrangements to donate my carcass to science so I won't even have to go to a stupid funeral.

+221 Reply

that_guy that_guy

In response to “I have known for a long time that I have...

Life deals tough cards some times. I guess it's going out with dignity, with few regrets that is the most many of us can hope for.

01 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

In response to “I have known for a long time that I have...

I can certainly understand why you feel that way, but keep an open mind. Medical science makes advances every day and perhaps one of them will help you.

01 Reply

Linnster Linnster

In response to “I can certainly understand why you feel that...

I think you missed the point.

0 Reply

that_guy that_guy

In response to “I think you missed the point.

Perhaps I did.

01 Reply

Linnster Linnster

Wow, quite the tribute to this young man, Jim. Thank you for sharing with us.

I doubt I will face my death with dignified courage, for death scares me. Always has.

+445 Reply

dru18 dru18

In response to “Wow, quite the tribute to this young man...

My friend, Rip VanWinkle, the person I made the post about, passed away today at his home surrounded by his family. (Yes, that was his real name.)

0 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

when death comes to visit
smile and say Come get some you Son of **** goat

the son of the **** goat did visit
wasn't me who blinked
I am not afraid

We all die
it's what humans do

+223 Reply

Neanderthal_Momdoer Neanderthal_Momdoer

I have no clue. People can try to imagine how they would be on such situation, but imagining it and living it are two different matters altogether. That man is worth respecting and admiring, no doubt.

+444 Reply

Sofia Sofia

I deal with life and death everyday, one is never prepared for when it happens for when its my time I am not afraid

+221 Reply

symplycurious symplycurious

I just wanted to post that the person I talked about in this post, passed away today.

0 Reply

JustJimColo JustJimColo OP

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