Ugh, my co-workers bug the heck out of me. One of them's a chick who doesn't know left from right. But she's pretty hot. The other girl's really really smart but I swear, she looks like she came from a nerd convention. And then there's this guy who seems like he's high all the time, and for some reason he brings his dog to work everyday. So yeah, we travel in a bus and solve mysteries and stuff... amirite?
The new Karate Kid is basically just Jaden Smith's re-creation of his dad's old show. He was chillin out maxin' relaxin' all cool, shootin some b-ball outside of school when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in his neighborhood. He got it one little fight and his mom got scared, she said "You're going to learn kung-fu from the maintenance man downstairs.", amirite?
**** Boy Scouts. Instead there should be MAN SCOUTS! Activities include tying knots WITH A PYTHON, pitching a tent MADE OF LATEX AND CYANIDE, and earning merit badges and pinning them to YOUR BARE NAKED, HAIRY TORSO. Girl scouts have cookies? That's cool. We've got SMOKED KRAKEN ON A STICK! Amirite?
You can make anything sound badass if you put the right spin on it. For example: Once a year in a human's life, to celebrate their continuing survival, food is created for them in an inferno hot enough to kill a man. That food is then lit ablaze and presented to the surviving one for them to extinguish with only their breath and then consume. amirite?
You could totally imagine Old Spice Guy doing a presidential campaign ad: Hello people of America. Look at your nominee, now back to me. Now back to your nominee, now back to me. Sadly, your nominee isn't me, but if he stopped running for president he could be in my cabinet. I'm on a campaign ad. amirite?
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