The elderly should be sent to jail, and criminals to nursing homes. The eldery would have free hot food, snacks, free legal care, medical and health, security and safety, free clothing, access to pools, counseling and education, family visits, and care. The criminals would have cold food, left alone in a tiny room, limited showers and pay $5000 a month for the torture. amirite?
500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away. Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could remove these belts. This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook. amirite?