My girlfriend invited me to her house and I found her sister alone. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?" I immediately turned around and walked out, going to my car. I found my girlfriend standing there and she hugged me and said "You've won my trust!" Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in the car, amirite?
I hate condom commercials. It's very uncomfortable when you're just sitting there with your dad watching a football game when suddenly "NEW TROJAN FIRE AND ICE CONDOMS CAN RESULT IN PURE ECSTACY!!" while cutting to a scene of a man and a woman gasping with exertion. Not only do those commercials result in agonizingly awkward situations, fire and ice are the last things one would want on their d... amirite?
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