Some actions result in pleasure. That does not mean your only motivation for doing anything is so you will feel good. People are motivated by many things. A happy consequence is that you often feel good after you've accomplished your goal regardless of what motivated you to do it in the first place - that does not make you selfish.
It is the speaker's responsibility to make them self understood, not the listener's responsibility to try to figure out what the speaker meant when they didn't say what they meant. It's really difficult to talk to people who think words mean whatever they want them to mean and get annoyed when you don't understand them. If you want people to understand you, you're going to have to learn how to express yourself better, it's not their job to be mind readers, amirite?
It's belittling and annoying when someone older than you has a different way of doing something or thinking about something, instead of realizing that all people have different preferences and thinking styles they write it off as you being immature and say you'll change when you grow up, amirite?
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