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Spanish Computer !  A Spanish language teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.  "House" for instance, is feminine:     "la casa."....... "Pencil," however, is masculine:       "el lapiz.".......  A student asked, "What gender is 'Computer'?".......       Instead of giving the answer, the teacher divided the class into two groups, Male and Female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "Computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that  "Computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"),  because:  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;.......  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone  else;....... 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and.......  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck to buy accessories for it........     <b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b><b>*</b>**** The women's group, however,  concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"),  because:  1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;....... 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;....... 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and....... 4. As soon as you commit to one,  you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model........    The women won.  lol
Spanish Computer ! A Spanish language teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."....... "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."....... A student asked, "What gender is 'Computer'?"....... Instead of giving the answer, the teacher divided the class into two groups, Male and Female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "Computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that "Computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;....... 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;....... 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and....... 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck to buy accessories for it........ **************** The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;....... 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;....... 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and....... 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model........ The women won. lol

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WELCOME to the NORTH POLE .... Monday night we are expecting 4-6 inches of snow. Oh, but wait! Tonight, it's going down to -9 Fahrenheit ... Who else is getting screwed by mother nature?
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A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.   She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.   Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.   The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze.   The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"   The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish!"
What do you check before going to bed?
Bass Pro Shop A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.  She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.  A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all-around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.   I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?" He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50. She didn't say a thing.....just paid the bill !!!!!!  Hahahaha, lol
Bass Pro Shop A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all-around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?" He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50. She didn't say a thing.....just paid the bill !!!!!! Hahahaha, lol
IRISH TALKING CLOCK    After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends.  He led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. ”What's that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked.  “It's not a gong.  It's a talking clock.” the drunk replied.     “A talking clock?  Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.     “YUP,  it is” replied the drunk.  “How does it work?” the friend asked; squinting at it.  “Watch” the drunk replied.  He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an   ear-shattering pound and stepped back.     The three stood looking at one another for a moment.    Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed:   “Hey ****!  It's 3:15 in the MORNING!”
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Have you ever felt that you were being stalked online?
Quiz: Would You Make a Good Santa?
Have you ever given CPR to a panda?
We've been told that rape and sexual assault/harassment is about CONTROL & POWER.  I have known and read about some women, usually the same ones over and over, revealing their countless tales about being raped, sexually assaulted, and/or harassed many times. Yet other women in the work place have never been such. Why is that?
What's the strongest drink that you'll have?
Do those of you that send out Christmas cards, use snail mail or electronically?
Merry Christmas.
Avast me 'earties.You have opened a school for trainee pirates.Whats on the curriculum?

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