+13Rain is fantastic background noise,
+10Forcing unwilling people to dance is
bad. Forcing unwilling people to sit
+9If you want a stable relationship you
should just buy a horse, amirite?
+8Looking at your old posts and comments
is like taking a trip down memory lane,
+5If you're going to check someone out, at
least have the decency to attempt to do
+1Xbox One Unveiling: Disappointed so
far. I want a game console not a fancy
+3If a pimp has an illegitimate child, he
should be called a pimple, amirite?
+2Religious people: you don't view your
religion as a way of ascertaining
+2The best way to get in shape in a week
before Summer is to get a month head
How can I stop a verbal (adult) bully?
Why do girls have trouble being friends
with other girls, compared to [girls]
M&M's or skittles?
ONLINE SHOPPING IS THE BEST,AMIRITE
Why is it so hard for some people to
differentiate between your and you're?
+106I try to get in at least 30 minutes of
talking about exercise every day.
+22To whomever would say, while losing an
Internet argument, "I thought this
+991The reason that so many Harry Potter
fans (such as myself) don't like
+12It really sucks when you try your very
best, yet people still put you down.
+20It's sick that we can't even trust what
we're eating and drinking anymore,
+11You always wonder how people film at the
perfect times to get there fails,
+3You always wonder why people are filming
all the fials there are on the internet,
-9You would like to be a disciple
+6Ryan Dolan did not deserve to finish
bottom. Sure the song wasn't the best,
The expression "I'll die trying" should really mean "I am trying to kill myself." Amirite?
If you think there are rip-off artists buying illegal DVDs then that would be considered a ConsPiracy, amirite?
May the 4th be with you, amirite?
You hate it when you get itchy on a bruise or bump, amirite?
Whenever you watch an old video with the date on the corner, you always think of how old you were during that time, amirite?
Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs!
If I cannot hear you after 3 tries, I just smile and nod.
Never underestimate my power to get absolutely nothing done all day.
The only people who appreciate change are wet babies.
Can I Have Your Picture, I Collect Natural Disasters
Don't tell anybody, but under my clothes, Im naked
What do you think when you hear the word "cell"?
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day
They say talk is cheap, I guess that’s why I bought every word you said.
You cannot hum if you plug your nose!
There's probably a lot of thinking that goes on behind something as simple as why time slots for TV shows are often 30 minutes or why bendy straws bend at that point in the straw, amirite?
Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
I am so awesome that when I was born my mom stared at me and said “the world is not ready for this kind of technology”.
I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.
Yes, I’m a smoker and no, I don’t have yellow teeth...they’re blond!
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse!
Rlaely it dseon’t mtater waht I witre yuo’ll sitll uantrednsnd it!
Beer: now cheaper than gasoline! So don't drive ... drink!
I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!