This post is veeeery specific...
He took the chance by having sex, and he was rewarded with a burping, pooping, adorable baby paycheck deduction. It's well-known that birth control methods do not have a 100% sure-fire success rate.
Now, homosexuality on the other hand...
It sounds like somebody isn't paying child support...
I'm sure there are people out there not paying, so I guess you are right. I myself am childless.
He had sex knowing the consequences. He has to take responsibility for his actions.
he had sex with protection that didn't work, so the company should pay. everybody's happy... except for those giant companies.
condoms aren't 100%. Not sure how they are made but it's probably impossible to be at 100%. You don't NEED to have sex. There are other things that can be done. Birth control pills, day after pill, oh and NOT having sex.
That's the girl's fault... Yes, I will drug my wife's morning coffee with birth control pills so when we have sex she won't get pregnant. WTF.
Obviously you have a mature conversation with your partner about birth control...it's really not that hard to think before you act. Having sex is a big step in a relationship =/ even if you don't get pregnant, it really changes things.
fair enough. you know, thats why guys should make girls sign prenups before sex, so that this doesn't happen.
I expected this to get a negative rating, but the ratio is a little surprising. Why should he have to pay?
yeah that's what I reckon...it's probably because the chick is very stressed and has little money or something...? but he shodnt have to pay if he ddnt want it
I hate how so many people say 'he knew the consequences' because that makes sex sound like a bad thing. Its beautiful, natural, and all around amazing. If from the begining he made it clear he didn't want a baby its kinda messed up on the womans half to take it to court. It was her choice to have the baby ON HER OWN. And I can't stand how people automatically assume the mom is a saint and the dad is just a deadbeat piece of shit. Sure there are plenty pos dads. But... Blaaaaaaah.
(lynz.): Sure sex is all those great things. But it still has the potential to make a baby. If the guy really really didn't want a baby he could have a vacectamy.
After a vacectamy you're supposed to go and do sperm count tests, at least 3 from memory (I used to work for a doctor) and when the sperm count is at 0.0000% that's when you're all good.
He probably lied. Like my boyfriend's dad lied to his mum and said he had one after their 3rd kid, and a few years later she was pregnant again XD then she made sure he actually got one. Or he didn't do the follow up tests to make sure his sperm count was zero.
Why would the woman want a baby when she clearly can't support it? She's being extremely selfish, especially to the baby who will probably be fatherless. If she really cared, she would save the man and the baby a lot of grief by putting it up for adoption and possibly taking it back later. Otherwise... it's just being spiteful and stupid.
Hence the "possibly"... genius.
(notlinkin)Wow so single mothers can't possibly take care of a baby?
You're taking this out of context. If she wants the father to pay child support, then she's either a spiteful bitch or poor. There are single mothers out there and they're doing a fine job, but they aren't the subject of this topic.
Or she's making him be responsible for something that he created.
Or like on Maury the audience will boo and say rude stuff to the supposed dad who wants a paternity test... Well, the bitch is testing 5 guys today... After she already tested 17 last episode. He has every right to wonder
Because he still had sex, and knew that having sex can create a baby...
If the girl was using protection she probably didn't want the baby either. Just because he's the guy and can run away doesn't mean he shouldn't pay.
If she doesn't want the baby then she can have an abortion or give the baby away once it is born. She can 'run away' just as easily.
My opinion is that, if you don't know what you would do if you did get pregnant then you shouldn't have sex. I myself would never have an abortion, adoption may be a possibility, depending on how i felt about my mothering skills. just because you don't want a child doesn't mean that you can expect someone to kill what's inside them, what they caused. i'm sure the girl wasn't planning on being a mother, but once you have a child you're not a man unless you can be a father, and if you're not a man you shouldn't have sex. no matter what, that is your child and you should love it like you wanted it, even if that means paying child support. I would hope that if i got pregnant the man who got me pregnant would at least try to help me, and i don't mean giving me the number to an abortion clinic.
The thing I dislike about forcing the father to pay child support is that it gives ALL the power to the woman. They BOTH decided to have sex and they BOTH created this child, yet keeping the baby is solely the woman's choice. If she wants to keep the child herself then good luck to her, but forcing the man to support the child that he never wanted should not be allowed. People above have been saying that he has to accept the consequences of his decision to have sex, but really it is her decision that has the consequences.
Stuff happens; step up and take responsibility.
Exactaly! When I have sex, even though I use contraception I know that there is a chance that I will get pregnant. And I'd have to take responsibility for that, and so does my boyfriend (especially since he is pro-life).
"WARNING: SEX MAY CAUSE BABIES" are people so absolutely concentrated on satisfying their own pleasures that they forget that?
They both knew the consequences of what they were doing and it's not as easy as just saying 'You should get an abortion' or something like that because the woman's instinct is that she needs to protect her baby. He should have to pay child support.
spearmintmilk: just because he doesn't want one at that time doesn't mean he won't in the future.
(lynz.): True, but it can be reversed. If it was an option not to pay child support, there would be so many fathers who would just say "well I said I didn't want the baby and I told her to abort it!". It just shouldn't be an option. If you have sex, you can potentially make a baby, you have to be made responsible for that decision.
Lol @ all the virgins saying 'its simple' to just not have sex. Grow the fuck up!
If you give up all rights to see the child and are not recognised as the father of the child, you should not have to pay child support.
Protection is supposed to work. By using protection you are actively seeking to prevent conception.
There's also problems of women who are desperate for children doing things such as putting holes in condoms with pins, and then forcing the father to support her and a child he did not want.
I understand the point the original post is trying to make, but sometimes women cannot get abortions because A) it's against their religion B) they don't have the money. Of course they can put the baby up for adoption, but... I personally wouldn't be able to. The guy and the girl are equally responsible for pregnancy, regardless of if it was an accident or not.
He should pay. He created it, and if the girl wants to keep it, he should pay. It is a very hard decision, some people can't bring themselves to get an abortion. It's not a simple decision.
In my opinion most bitches getting child support did so to be spiteful. Dude didn't want to be with her and she was upset, finds out she's preggo, thinks it'll make him stay. Uh, no. Think again! But then she starts talking to her fam and friends about what a horrible person he is, even though they were just a drunken hookup and she's the crazy dumb bitch thinking it was something more. So she decides fine, ill fuck him over for the next 18 years!
"most bitches get child support" to help raise the child from the other person who helped create it.
(lynz.): This is the stupidest thing I've read all day.
I'd agree only because he took precautions as he obviously wasn't ready for a baby. its not his fault that his girlfriend wouldn't abort or have it adopted. He can't stop her from having it, but if he tried to make sure there was no baby, its not his fault. However, if he didn't use protection then he should have to keep the baby.
It's his fault for having sex.
Condom's aren't 100%.
It's his fault for being so heartless for telling his girlfriend or whatever to kill her baby or give it to someone else.
So you are saying couples shouldn't have sex unless they want a baby. So, what you are saying is that couples should only have sex like what...3 times?
He shouldn't have sex if he doesn't want to deal with the consequences.
Why three times?
Who would want more then 3 kids?
Who would want ONE kid?
I can't stand children.
Here's a question: What if a woman gets pregnant, and she wants to have an abortion, and her boyfriend/husband get to keep it? I'm just curious to know what people think.
This human is capable of unlimited thought and imagination, so don't expect her to get an abortion. If you knocked her up, the least you can do is help out a bit by paying child support, at least you won't have to see the bitch that way.
kmxx244944: how so? Because that comment is completely true. Maybe not all bitches think like that, but a good fuckin deal of them do. My brothers mom, for example. My parents were on and off, I got a brother outta it. His mom wanted my dad. She never once said she wanted child support or anything from him...until him and my mom worked everything out and decided to get married. Even though the entire time she was preggo she told him she would handle everything on her own blah blah blah. You're 14. Grow up. There's some shiesty ass bitches out there. I have a friend that was a straight booty call for this guy, who had a wife and baby. He told her a million times he didn't want another, constantly made she sure had her birth control in, religiously used condoms, was beyond clear with the fact that she was a hookup. Nothing more. She got preggo (daddy could be him or hmm maybe the other dudes she fucks without a condom) but because she's 'in love' with this guy, she's gonna tak...
(lynz.): @572194 (lynz.): Then he should get a paternity test. And if he really didn't want a baby with her then... HE SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD SEX WITH HER! It's really that simple.
(lynz.): Also why was he cheating on his wife? Especially if he had a baby. That guy deserved it if the child is infact his.
Spearmintmilk: idk, I can't read his mind. I said he fucked himself over. But that's not the point. They both know there's other possibilities of a father. & he said he'd take (and pay for) a paternity test & that they could figure things out from there. But her spiteful bitch self is having him served before the baby is even born so that she can ruin his marriage (which, again, I said in my earlier comment he did himself) but she's doing it to be spiteful and fuck him over worse just because....she can. I'm not saying guys shouldn't have to take any responsibility. But there is a line, and judges need to take a lot more into consideration. A lot of guys end up paying $250,000+ over the 18 years and have absolutely no parental rights, now whether he wanted that kid or not in the first place now he's paying that much shouldn't he have some rights? The whole system is fucked. And she's not 'making him responsible', she's being a bitch.
(lynz.): $250,000 is barely a scratch on the surface to what a kid costs over 18 years. My mum struggled without my Dad paying child support (she didn't bother to take him to court). She did everything herself. And he still got visitation rights etc... I love my Dad but I think he should have helped provided finacial support for me and my sister.
"now he's paying that much shouldn't he have some rights?" Yes he should, and he will if it's deemed that that would be in the best intrest of the child in court.
SpearmintMilk: 'he deserves' it? Either you can't read or you're just a dumbass. Yea he shouldn't be cheating but that's not the point. He doesn't want a baby with his booty call and made that clear to her. Now she's being a phyco bitch about it. And why would you want someone THAT DOESN'T WANT A BABY to be a father? Just cuz its his won't make him love it. Cool though, now this kid gets to live with a crazy mom and daddy doesn't want or love them....amaaaazing.
I agree. That poor kid, has a dumb bitch for a mother and a fuckwit for a father (if he is the father).
I think it's just downright evil to force someone, father or mother, to pay child support and then deny them parental rights e.g. visitation. And to all those saying that "if you really don't want a child then don't have sex": It's 2010. Thinking like that became out of date decades ago.
So because it's 2010 that means babies are now made a diffrent way than decades ago?
And a parent can't deny the other one visitation rights if it's taken to court and the judge decides he/she should be allowed.
What if the judge decides he isn't allowed? I'm saying that it's evil to force someone to pay child support and deny them any parental rights, whether a judge decides it's ok or not.
And decades ago, or even centuries ago, abortion was simply not an option and the process of giving up a baby for adoption wasn't to the standard it is today (there wasn't the same guarantees that the child would be cared for). Nowadays, getting pregnant only leads to you having to raise a child if you want it to.
A judge would only disallow visitation rights if that parent is going to potentially harm the child.
Abortion has been around forever, earliest recorded was 1550BC. Only in the 19th century there was a ban on abortion, and people still had them, just illegally and dangerously. And the ban was lifted in the 20th century. But it's still the choice of the woman if she doesn't want one, or if it's medically dangerous for her to have one.
Yeah the adoption standard is better today... but it's still not an ideal option. Imagine if every child that wasn't aborted (say they found out too late, or the father changed his mind after it was too late to have an abortion or whatever multitude of reasons) was put up for adoption just because the father didn't want to pay child support and the mother couldn't support it on her own. Then the standard would start to slip because there would be more babies to find homes for.
Ideally contraception would be 100% effective, but it isn't.
I agree with everything in that last comment.
LewisL: everyone saying that is a virgin and needs to grow the fuck up. I completely agree with you. The system is seriously messed up.
250,000 is over a g a month dude. That's more than enough to support a kid. You're a damn idiot.
@576427 (cas): Kids cost alot. And there are not that many fathers who do pay that much anyway considering it's means tested. Often it's much much much less.
"All told, the typical child support payment in the USA covers much less than half the expense of raising a child. Custodial parents – usually mothers – are taking on not only the majority of the work involved in childrearing, and the majority of the opportunity costs – they’re taking on the majority of the cash expenses, as well."
I was thinking in AU$ coz i'm from australia not USD$ and there is a large diffrence. Still stand by that kids are expensive.
70 per cent of non-custodial parents in Australia (where I live) pay only the minimum child support payment of $5 a fortnight
I live in cali. That amount is more than enough to raise a kid and that's a small amount I personally know 5 guys that pay more than that a month. And all the shit about how the mother has to do this and that blah blah blah? SHE FUCKING CHOSE THAT! He didn't want a baby. He didn't want the responsibility. He flat out told the bitch these things or else they wouldn't be in a situation like that. If a woman decides she's going to keep and raise her kid when the father wants nothing to do with it its fucked up she now has all this power.
Well. I think the father SHOULD help pay. Its the right thing to do. But, he doesn't HAVE to. Its really his choice. But If he doesn't, he's kind of a jerk. I hope that couple isn't together anymore, if he doesn't help pay, because this mother can find a better guy who actually cares about her.
Not wanting a baby doesn't make someone heartless. And really, with how horrible foster home conditions are, putting a baby up for adoption is the heartless choice. Aside from that, being upfront and honest is far from heartless, why would you want a child being part of a situation like that? I hate people that say 'they shouldn't have sex if they don't want a baby' fucking ignorant dumbasses. Sex is NOT just to make a baby.
Thank you for presenting this viewpoint. Adoption is not always the happy win/win situation that people think it is. In fact of the adoption cases I've seen, I lived with a family where they adopted a kid and then they AND my dad abused him horribly, and I've seen three cases where people have adopted kids and essentially given them back when they decided they didn't want them after all. Not to mention the large number of children who float around in the foster system forever.
As for the original post, my boyfriend and I would both want abortion if I got pregnant. We both consider ourselves responsible for me taking my birth control perfectly- he reminds me on the off chance I don't remember.
If I got pregnant and changed my mind and decided to keep it, I would offer to sign something releasing him of any responsibility if there's such a thing, because he's coming into this expecting that if there is a pregnancy, it will be terminated.
We're 23, responsi...