+317 The stages of competitive females. Child-My barbies are cooler than yours! Preteen- My makeup is cooler than yours. Teenage- My boyfriend/ cellphone: is cooler than yours. College- my dorm is prettier than yours. Middle age- my house has better furniture than yours. Old- My cane is sturdier than yours. Dead- my grave is bigger than yours, amirite?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Wouldn't a bigger grave imply that you're fatter, therefore being a bad thing?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I meant gravestone :/ Too late to edit :/

by Anonymous 13 years ago

what about early adulthood? either 'my job is better than yours' or 'my wedding was better than yours'

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Psh. I didn't wear make-up when I was a preteen. Still don't, and I don't plan on it either.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Then there are competitive mothers, an entirely different brand of crazy. Like those baby beauty pageants...scary.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You forgot: More people came to my funeral than yours. but other than that this is funny :P

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Afterlife: My wings are bigger than yours

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My halo's bigger than yours

by Anonymous 13 years ago

All stages of competitive males: My cane is sturdier than yours.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My boyfriend is cuter, my parents are richer, my husband is more successful, my kids got into a better college......wonder if the homeless compete too - is it just human nature?

by Anonymous 13 years ago