Moderating FML makes you want to drink bleach, amirite?

"Today, I was moderating FML. I just couldn't take it anymore and decided to drink some bleach. I woke up in a hospital with burns all over my head four days later. It turns out that after drinking it I stumbled around in my kitchen and started to convulse, kicking my cat into a wall and killing it. Then I opened the oven and turned it on while still twitching and collapsed inside it, causing my uninsured house to burn down and my head to catch fire. Also my mom died while I was unconcious. FML"