Your pillow is practically your spouse. You sleep with it, hold it close, cry into it when you're sad, scream into it when you're angry, love it at the end of a long day, and wash it when it gets old, amirite?

Yeah. My husband had better watch out if he gets old. "INTO THE WASHER, OLD MAN."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

IF he get's old?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Wow, way to judge. Who are you to question Andrea's husband's mortality?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

its as though your comment got potd too :')

by Anonymous 12 years ago

And you hit it when your pissed off!

by Anonymous 12 years ago

you're not a very good spouse then wary

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Not hardly.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

When my pissed off what?! The suspense is killing me!

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This post gave me disturbing thoughts about putting my face against my spouse and screaming and then washing her.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Hahahaha.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'd say exciting rather than disturbing.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You should have added "hump it, have sex with it, make babies with it..."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

bow chica bow wow

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"teach your children pillows life lessons, have fights with your teenage pillows, have interventions with them, watch them grow up and get married to someone who will someday hit them and then have make up sex with them..."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I have like eight pillows on my bed and surround myself with all of them. I guess I am just a cheating whore.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I have 2 and sometimes 3 hello

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Or you're just a polygamist.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Obviously I am a girl. Polygamy is usually men married to multiple women, hardly ever the other way around,

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Set the precedent.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Polygamy is not gender-specific. Gender-specific polygamy is known as either polygyny or polyandry. Polygyny is one man married to multiple women, and polyandry is one woman married to multiple men. And polyandry most certainly does occur ubiquitously in places with a strong family ethic, which is more than you'd think.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I never said it wasn't women married to several men. I was just saying that it is usually men married to several women.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Marrying a pillow sounds particularly lonely (x

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I believe it has been done before. Apparently someone married the Eiffel Tower, too. She described her sex life with it as "walking around it nude"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

However, our sex life isn't the best, but she gets laid on a lot.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This is my pillow http://ctrlv.in/76314 I've always wanted a cat for a spouse :3

by Anonymous 12 years ago

your issues are immense.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Introducing the newest memeber of the Types of Comments That Get You a Butt-ton of Loves on the POTD: insulting Favvkes

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I need to hop on that shit.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Favvkes or the newest type of comment?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I was actually talking about feces.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Well, I guess that makes sense too, for you at least.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Page 2 of google search results... I'm onto you Favvkes

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You also get a new one when the old one gets lumpy.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Where do I put the ring?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

http://ctrlv.in/76317 and sometimes you //wish// your pillow was your spouse hello

by Anonymous 12 years ago

okay okay, better? http://ctrlv.in/76318

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'd tap that.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

wait you scream into your spouse? lol

by Anonymous 12 years ago

while giving oral hello

by Anonymous 12 years ago

mmm kinkyyy yum

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Well, I did see an episode of My Strange Addiction where a woman was addicted to a pillow. She was so faithful to it that when her boyfriend asked to marry her, she said no because he did not accept her pillow in the relationship.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

i drool on and bite my pillow sometimes not that i'd do that to my spouse or anything wary

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I bet you do it with Raymond, amirite? hello

by Anonymous 12 years ago

maybe

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Just kidding. I know you don't. XD

by Anonymous 12 years ago

My friend slept on my pillow last night. Did my husband cheat on me? I was okay with it, I was actually the one who handed it over to her, but now thinking it over... I'm beginning to feel used and betrayed. I think I'm going to break up with my pillow tonight. I deserve better than a pillow who will lie with anyone who will use it. TO HELL WITH PILLOWS! I'm sleeping with a man tonight.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

i dont know if i scream into my spouse...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I have 2 pillows in one case- 'cause I'm freaky like that.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Your spouse is a conjoined twin?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

When I'm angry I scream neither into my pillow nor into my spouse, I don't cry into my spouse, I don't hold my pillow close and I don't wait for my pillow to get old before I wash it. This post might as well have said: "Your house is a lot like your partner, you make food in it, you cuddle with it, it's where you keep your knives and sometimes it wears t-shirts, amirite?"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Thank you, Chelsea Handler.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You forgot that the other side can be colder than Siberia in winter and after a while no matter what you do it will always be lumpy in all the wrong places.

by Anonymous 12 years ago