+926

Your pillow is practically your spouse. You sleep with it, hold it close, cry into it when you're sad, scream into it when you're angry, love it at the end of a long day, and wash it when it gets old, amirite?

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Yeah. My husband had better watch out if he gets old. "INTO THE WASHER, OLD MAN."

astral_queens avatar astral_queen Yeah You Are +193Reply

I have like eight pillows on my bed and surround myself with all of them. I guess I am just a cheating whore.

Stage3_Unicorns avatar Stage3_Unicorn Yeah You Are +65Reply
@Or you're just a polygamist.

Obviously I am a girl. Polygamy is usually men married to multiple women, hardly ever the other way around,

Stage3_Unicorns avatar Stage3_Unicorn Yeah You Are -2Reply
@Stage3_Unicorn Obviously I am a girl. Polygamy is usually men married to multiple women, hardly ever the other way around,

Polygamy is not gender-specific. Gender-specific polygamy is known as either polygyny or polyandry. Polygyny is one man married to multiple women, and polyandry is one woman married to multiple men.
And polyandry most certainly does occur ubiquitously in places with a strong family ethic, which is more than you'd think.

@ctiscooler Polygamy is not gender-specific. Gender-specific polygamy is known as either polygyny or polyandry. Polygyny is one...

I never said it wasn't women married to several men. I was just saying that it is usually men married to several women.

Stage3_Unicorns avatar Stage3_Unicorn Yeah You Are 0Reply

And you hit it when your pissed off!

You should have added "hump it, have sex with it, make babies with it..."

StickCavemans avatar StickCaveman Yeah You Are +10Reply
@freddo bow chica bow wow

"teach your children pillows life lessons, have fights with your teenage pillows, have interventions with them, watch them grow up and get married to someone who will someday hit them and then have make up sex with them..."

StickCavemans avatar StickCaveman Yeah You Are +23Reply

Marrying a pillow sounds particularly lonely (x

jazzhandss avatar jazzhands Yeah You Are +9Reply
@jazzhands Marrying a pillow sounds particularly lonely (x

I believe it has been done before.

Apparently someone married the Eiffel Tower, too.

She described her sex life with it as "walking around it nude"

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@1679287

You're doing it wrong

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@1679337

In Soviet Russia does Jihad blow up for the sake of him?

Well, I did see an episode of My Strange Addiction where a woman was addicted to a pillow. She was so faithful to it that when her boyfriend asked to marry her, she said no because he did not accept her pillow in the relationship.

Where do I put the ring?

Skr3wBalls avatar Skr3wBall Yeah You Are +5Reply

However, our sex life isn't the best, but she gets laid on a lot.

wait you scream into your spouse? lol

StayBeautifuls avatar StayBeautiful Yeah You Are +3Reply

When I'm angry I scream neither into my pillow nor into my spouse, I don't cry into my spouse, I don't hold my pillow close and I don't wait for my pillow to get old before I wash it.
This post might as well have said:
"Your house is a lot like your partner, you make food in it, you cuddle with it, it's where you keep your knives and sometimes it wears t-shirts, amirite?"

You also get a new one when the old one gets lumpy.

Oliver_Woods avatar Oliver_Wood Yeah You Are +2Reply
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@1679284

I remember reading about the 5 weirdest marriages to inanimate objects.

One was a video game character, one was that guy with the pillow, one was the lady with the Eiffel tower, I forgot the other two.

My friend slept on my pillow last night. Did my husband cheat on me? I was okay with it, I was actually the one who handed it over to her, but now thinking it over... I'm beginning to feel used and betrayed. I think I'm going to break up with my pillow tonight. I deserve better than a pillow who will lie with anyone who will use it. TO HELL WITH PILLOWS! I'm sleeping with a man tonight.

I have 2 pillows in one case- 'cause I'm freaky like that.

i dont know if i scream into my spouse...

Thank you, Chelsea Handler.

AnnDeevas avatar AnnDeeva Yeah You Are +1Reply

You forgot that the other side can be colder than Siberia in winter and after a while no matter what you do it will always be lumpy in all the wrong places.

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