+1,261

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%... unless you're donating blood, amirite?

97%Yeah You Are3%No Way
shoshanas avatar
Share
117 131
The voters have decided that shoshana is right! Vote on the post to say if you agree or disagree.

You should NEVER give 100% in anything you do because then

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +112Reply
@Serg You should NEVER give 100% in anything you do because then

Do yourself a favour and make this a post before someone else does.

Montanas avatar Montana Yeah You Are +4Reply

This reminds me of a joke.
A man finds a bottle on the beach and opens it, releasing a genie who offers him three wishes, but with one catch. Every time he wishes for something every lawyer in the world will receive twice as much. The man thinks this over for a few moments, then smiles and nods.
For his first wish he wishes for a vast fortune, and every lawyer immediately has a fortune twice as fast. Then he wishes for a beautiful car, and every lawyer immediately has two. "You have one wish left," the genie tells him. The man grins. "You know, I've always wanted to donate blood."

This user has deactivated their account.
@1578650

I've shit better jokes

@amiritesucksnow I've shit better jokes

That reminded me of a joke. Two guys are walking along the street. The first one sniffs the air and says "Did you shit your pants?"
The second one replies "No."
Time passes. The first one sniffs the air again "Are you sure you didn't shit your pants?"
The second one replies "No I didn't!"
The first one has had enough. He grabs the back of The second one's pants, checks inside, and reels back, disgusted. There's a big brown turd clinging to the undercarriage.
The first one says "What's this? You told me you didn't shit your pants!"
The second one replies "I thought you meant today."

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +33Reply
@1578650

......and his wife was scared a quarter to death.

@Shadi has* ...has scared a quarter to death.

not cool, man. I gots a family to take care of! frown smilie angry smilie

and right before the holidays?! shame on you, sir!

Anonymous 0Reply
@FlyingGuineaPig This reminds me of a joke. A man finds a bottle on the beach and opens it, releasing a genie who offers him three...

"Alright," says the genie, "but I'm not sure how to measure TWO bloods. Usually people donate blood a pint at a time. Is that what you meant?" The man looks perplexed by himself, and he responds disappointedly, "I guess so..." After the man's wish comes true, lawyers around the world are all accredited for their united effort to supply blood to those in need. Cures for diseases which were previously believed to be incurable are vaccinated, and the man who met the genie later goes home to his miserable, genie-less life. The end.

@That sounds terrible. Lawyers provide a much needed service to society.

That sounds terrible. You don't seem to have heard of jokes.

Anonymous -3Reply
@I have not. Mind explaining what they are?

Funny giggly things with a license to be inappropriate. For further reference go look in a mirror. (<<<See that? That's a joke.)

Hey nurse you've filled quite a few bags there, and I'm starting to feel faint. Maybe we should st....

Anonymous +26Reply
@Yeah.

Being a 100% donor would take away your boner... just sayin'

@Yeah.

Nobody brought up my song in years!!! Thank you!

Anonymous +20Reply
@Yeah.

wary smilie Would you believe me if I told I was too lightheaded to spell it right?
And I had a boner, the nurse was fuckin hot!! y smilie

Anonymous +1Reply

Well you didn't say anything about rape, sooooooo.....

@AnonymousJackson Well you didn't say anything about rape, sooooooo.....

Of course it didn't. You definitely should put all of your effort into that!

Anonymous +5Reply

I think donating blood is one of the best times to give 100%... Especially when I don't like you.

KirstenAnns avatar KirstenAnn Yeah You Are +16Reply

(giantlhat)

@SuddenEpiphany (giantlhat)

Two can play at this game!

l smilie

Just kidding, only one can play at this game.

Clementiness avatar Clementines Yeah You Are +7Reply
@http://myfacewhen.com/165/ How did you do that?!

You must have an amirite gold account to use this emoticon.
(giantlhat)

@Crap! I meant (giantlhat)

Are all three of you the same anon?

@MartellusBoss Are all three of you the same anon?

I am not the one that asked about the gold account.

Anonymous 0Reply
Anonymous 0Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@1579023

You're mad because you have a gold account?

Also, always think positive, unless your getting tested for HIV...

Or trimming your toenails.

@L_Stylz Or trimming your toenails.

That's not necessarily LIFE-ENDANGERING. That's probably painful, and you wouldn't gots no mo toes, but you'll live.

@L_Stylz Not if you bleed to death. See how it relates?

I don't see how a person might bleed to death from removing a toe nail.

@Shadi I don't see how a person might bleed to death from removing a toe nail.

You could lose some of that blood stuff if you rip off the skin thing that connects to your toenail thing to your foot thing... ten times. Didn't you ever go to Biology class?

@Favvkes in b4 "or _"

I don't really think you can inb4 something that already happened...

@shelbybuckffs I don't really think you can inb4 something that already happened...

I don't think you can inb4 things that will not happen. I mean, I guess you COULD, but what would be the point? hmm smilie

Anonymous +7Reply
@Favvkes in b4 "or _"

I try not to feed the trolls.

@Favvkes in b4 "or _"

Not again!

With your infamous "troll face," too!

@Exploding_Chickens Not again! With your infamous "troll face," too!

At least she's keeping it down with the cat pics. Respect for that.

Anonymous +3Reply
@At least she's keeping it down with the cat pics. Respect for that.

NO!

Now you're interested her into starting again, hopefully she's gone blind and can't read this.

Yet I have no ideas how cats can relate to this post without getting extremely vulgar or abusive.

@Exploding_Chickens Not again! With your infamous "troll face," too!

Calm yourself, I don't think her posting troll emoticons and cat pictures has any effect on your life...

http://ctrlv.in/51526

@Treeleaf Calm yourself, I don't think her posting troll emoticons and cat pictures has any effect on your life...

I didn't know Amirite needed its own bodyguard. I think she can speak up for herself.

Anonymous 0Reply
@I didn't know Amirite needed its own bodyguard. I think she can speak up for herself.

I know that, but last time, people kept ganging up on her. I think that if multiple people are allowed to dish on her for no good reason, then other people can stick up for her.

This user has deactivated their account.
@1578626

I see you've decided not to follow in your mother's footsteps.

Anonymous +57Reply
@1578626

So the Da Vince Code IS true!

Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +8Reply
This user has deactivated their account.
@1578704

All it takes is one lowercase letter to make it Ghetto.
Da Vince code
Da Vince Code
troll smilie

Kashishs avatar Kashish Yeah You Are +6Reply

Russians give it 140%.

Anonymous +4Reply
@Russians give it 140%.

In Russia, blood give you!

DarthJaders avatar DarthJader Yeah You Are +7Reply

How can that end badly? You're just giving it your all..

@LivingWhileICammm How can that end badly? You're just giving it your all..

A person without blood is like Spongebob without water... He pretty much shrivels up and gets eaten by a bunch of seagulls. I would say that that is a bad ending.

Dwights avatar Dwight Yeah You Are +28Reply
@Dwight A person without blood is like Spongebob without water... He pretty much shrivels up and gets eaten by a bunch of...

I'd rather be eaten by seagulls than have my blood and end up being steamed alive like Vladimir Ladyzhensky. I'd say that's a worse ending, just me though.

What would happen if you donated 100% of your sperm?

DarthJaders avatar DarthJader Yeah You Are +2Reply
@DarthJader What would happen if you donated 100% of your sperm?

Then you would be the luckiest mother fucker in the world.

Anonymous -4Reply
@DarthJader Fuckin' bitches with no worries

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Anonymous +13Reply

Shit makes me pass out even when I'm only giving like 1%

livelovemusic12s avatar livelovemusic12 Yeah You Are +1Reply

same goes for money. wouldn't want to give out all of my money!

fj95s avatar fj95 Yeah You Are 0Reply

This joke is so old. It was funny maybe the first 10 times I heard it.

scloud22s avatar scloud22 Yeah You Are +1Reply
@scloud22 Oh, too bad over a thousand people disagree with you.

So? Am i not allowed to say what I think of the POTD anymore without someone acting like a dick about it?

@soberlikekesha So? Am i not allowed to say what I think of the POTD anymore without someone acting like a dick about it?

So? Am i not allowed to say what I think of your post without you acting like a dick about it?

scloud22s avatar scloud22 Yeah You Are +1Reply
@soberlikekesha So? Am i not allowed to say what I think of the POTD anymore without someone acting like a dick about it?

You can say whatever you'd like.
BUT I'd appreciate it if you were kinder next time, Mr. SoberlikeKesha.

shoshanas avatar shoshana Yeah You Are 0Reply
@shoshana You can say whatever you'd like. BUT I'd appreciate it if you were kinder next time, Mr. SoberlikeKesha.

Your first reply was a pretty dickish response to a standard comment. feel justified in what I said. And it's Ms. Soberlikekesha to you.

@soberlikekesha Your first reply was a pretty dickish response to a standard comment. feel justified in what I said. And it's Ms...

You are lacking observational skills Miss.
My good friend scloud22 said the first comment.

I made this post.

shoshanas avatar shoshana Yeah You Are 0Reply

If you switch around the letters of this, you get:

hveeWart you do ni efli lwsaay giev 001 lneuss oyrue tnionadg bodol imeirat

Now we need to find someone who speaks alien to decode this...

Then you give 110%.

@DoctorWhat Then you give 110%.

You can't give other people's blood! Silly! yum smilie

@Shadi You can't give other people's blood! Silly!

Well you could, though it's not entirely legal. And I'm not sure they'll take it.

Man walks in covered in blood stains carrying severed head
Man: "So who do I give this blood to? Do I just leave it on the table?"
Doctor: "..."

@DoctorWhat Then you give 110%.

110% is the most idiotic thing you can say. It's impossible to give more than 100%.

@God_the_Almighty Says the dog with religious beliefs.

I'm not quite sure how that's even remotely relevant to my comment.

@amiritesucksnow I'm not quite sure how that's even remotely relevant to my comment.

You said it was impossible to give more than %100 and I said it is impossible for a dog to hav religious beliefs.

Looking back on it, I really did stretch it there.

@amiritesucksnow 110% is the most idiotic thing you can say. It's impossible to give more than 100%.

Impossible to give more than 100% you say? Tell that to Prime Minister Putin, bro!

How was this POTD?

@fckin_A How was this POTD?

Well, you see, when a user and a post love each other, the user sticks his pointer into the Suggest For POTD button. Then the almighty Anthony delivers a POTD for everyone in the world to enjoy. Some are successful, some aren't. That's the beauty of it.

@fckin_A How was this POTD?

Technically, you should have said "How is this POTD?" because it's still POTD. Actually, you shouldn't have said anything at all because I can guarantee you that 0% of the amiriters give a shit.

Clementiness avatar Clementines Yeah You Are +12Reply

This is a dumb POTD.

Anonymous -10Reply
Anonymous +5Reply
@This is a dumb POTD.

While I do agree with you, there is no use commenting about it. Just deal with it and move on.

Anonymous -2Reply
@While I do agree with you, there is no use commenting about it. Just deal with it and move on.

No use commenting about it? THIS IS A COMMENT SECTION. And it's meant for opinions.

Anonymous +2Reply
@No use commenting about it? THIS IS A COMMENT SECTION. And it's meant for opinions.

My opinion is that commenting about it is useless. I didn't say you couldn't do it. I just said there was no use for it.

Anonymous +1Reply
Please   login   or signup   to leave a comment.