If you YYA this post, Jesus will give all of his money to a leukemia patient and give you a guaranteed entry into Heaven. Also, Trayvon Martin's killer will be arrested, your 7th-12th grade love will kiss you, and all of the excellent TV shows from the '90s will run again. Hurry, though; if you don't message this to twenty people within five minutes of reading this, you will be sodomized by Edward Scissorhands. There, I summed up half of Facebook for you, amirite?