You can't look beyond something that isn't even there. People don't look past physical appearances online, they just don't think of them because they can't see them. I guarantee you that at least 85% of these relationships would not work if they had met in real life because looks would make too much of an impression for the relationship to go smoothly.
I don't know about that. I had fallen for a friend of mine online, and had those feelings for two years before we ever met. Nothing changed once we did, and it turned into a four year relationship and engagement.
I'm impressed by your using a gender neutral pronoun, and yes when I met him in person I was smitten. Though at that point we had already been sharing pictures and speaking with one another with webcams.
I understand your point as well as the point of the original comment (I agree with the first half whole heartedly) but the FIRST time I saw his picture, no, I didn't think he was incredibly attractive. In his defense we were both much younger and more awkward looking than when we first met. I guess I can never know if I found him attractive because of his actual physical looks, or because I was just seeing who I knew him to be on the inside. I would sincerely postulate that it was at least mostly the latter.
Well a lot of relationships in general won't survive, for plenty of reasons.But my interpretation of the post was that in an online relationship, looks become irrelevent. If I had met him in person before we started talking, his looks may have changed how our relationship evolved. But the fact is that the first time I really saw what he looked like (more than one grainy picture) I was already in love. So he could have been someone I would have normally considered hideous, but I may not have cared or even noticed.
Excuse me for being nosy, but how did you two meet? I know lots of people have met over the Internet but I neve understood how without some dating site.
We met on Diablo 2, a game we used to play. We were very young and didn't meet in person for another five years or so after that.
You don't have to apologize for being nosy; I'm the one volunteering personal information. :P
I was in a similar situation to Suzywao, where I met a guy online (in a chat room) and we fell in love and then met up and ended up having a 4 year relationship and even though it didn't work out we still are friends. To be honest he wasn't the most attractive person I had seen, but I feel in love with his personality so that made him more attractive to me and when he first saw what I looked like he said "yeah you look alright but you're too skinny" so I apparently wasn't the most attractive person to him either.
Did his opinion of your weight have any impact on your self image?
I still remember it all these years later so it must have lol. I was already self conscious though and he wasn't the first person to say something like that.
That is rather unfortunate. I mean, it's not like you can control that kind of thing without the risk of overdoing it. People tend to make thoughtless comments without realising the possible negative implications.
Definitely. I really don't think he meant to be mean or hurt my feelings, and if I had been less self conscious I probably wouldn't have even cared. I think everyone says things that impact on others without realising it though, positively and negatively.
That was bad wording on my part. I meant if they had first met in person.
Oh! Well I apologize for my six paragraph non sequitur rant then. :)
Yeah, but I always imagine them as being attractive.
Or at least the personality they portray. They could be a completely different person offline.
Hope has been slightly restored.
Any girl in the right mind won't date me for my looks. posts as anonymous to avoid accusations about attention whoring
Everyone says that, but girls only date me when they're desperate.
Looks like more foreveralone.jpg time for me.
Fuck, I forgot to press anonymous lul.
Every time they agree to go out, they literally say "Oh nevermind".
nah im sure youre not that bad
I have more internet crushes than anyone on the planet... but I must say I do like to see a beautiful face match the personality.
It probably varies from person to person, but I still think this is a valid point. Even if you do end up liking the way they look, you still starting crushing on them before you knew - it obviously wasn't a deciding factor, unlike in real life, where it is pretty much THE only thing that counts (come on; how many people do you know saying they have a crush on someone they have spoken to all of once, if that?). But like I said, the importance of appearance varies from person to person.
I feel like a terrible person after reading posts like this because a very large part of my crush decision-making is based off of that person's attractiveness, popularity, way they dress, etc. Maybe it's because I've never met someone with a personality so great that it overpowers their looks, but I usually can't look past appearance. This may also be because I'm gay, and every guy that I talk to is more than likely straight, so I just focus on looks because I know I have no possibility of dating them.
Surprised that popularity still is a factor. I thought that died with the 80's haha
I meant that more as social group.
You shouldn't feel like that you're an animal, after all, and its your instinct. You want to find a mate that is attractive, healthy, and strong, because you want your kids to be strong offspring.
Lol he couldn't have kids in his predicament.
This really makes me wonder. Do gay people have the instinct to find attractive mates for healthy offspring?
Yes, they do. If their reproductive evolutionary instincts weren't still there, they wouldn't be having sex.
Doesn't necessarily have to be that one specific reproductive instinct
Why would some randomly shut off?
well humans arent all the same. he may not have the instinct to reproduce, nothing wrong with it. were not all programmed the same. some people have a fight instinct, some people have the flight instinct.
All I'm saying is, if you want to fuck something, that's reproduction instincts. Even if you can't actually reproduce. I don't feel like getting into an evolutionary psychology debate if you don't mind. <3
The reason men like breasts is for that very instinct so I wouldn't believe so. Plus the fact that they know that they're not gonna have a biological child.
The only thing that takes me a while to get past when it comes to physical appearance is toe thumbs. Shallow? Yes. Deal-Breaker? No.
Just something about them....throws me off so much. BUT personality fixes that.
I was gonna say that but she could have a nice personality haha:P but yes exactly like her
Hng, stop with the online crush homepage posts, it's making me feel bad I have one.
Personality? The Internet is all about visual; every person on the Internet I've liked the look or sound of, this has only ever been after I thought they were hot. Sorry to disappoint.