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It's annoying when people define being lesbian as "not liking penis", or being bisexual as "I don't care wuts in their pants lolz". Unless you actually fall in love with a person based strictly on whether or not you like their genitalia, in which case I'd feel bad for you. That's not what determines a persons sexuality, amirite?

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The voters have decided that erinliannaclare is right! Vote on the post to say if you agree or disagree.

I've been thinking that I only consider myself "straight" because so far, I've only been attracted to guys. But there's always the possibility that I could end up liking a girl. You can't help who you are attracted to. If I happen to fall for a girl one day, so be it.

Recently I've been considering just labeling myself as pansexual since I have the potential to be attracted to or fall in love with pretty much anyone. It's out of my control.

acisseJs avatar acisseJ Yeah You Are +11Reply

Actually yeah it does.
It doesn't determine their romantic attraction, but it does determine their sexual attractions, which is what sexuality is.

Xefons avatar Xefon No Way +5Reply
@Xefon Actually yeah it does. It doesn't determine their romantic attraction, but it does determine their sexual...

So, one who is turned on by penis, likes boys. Someone who is not turned on by penis, will never fall in love with a boy? It doesn't make sense. I have been turned on by both males and females; both genders can be good looking, can be sexually attractive.... but I have never fallen in love with a girl. I am not straight because of what does or doesn't turn me on but because of the gender of who I develop feelings for.

erinliannaclares avatar erinliannaclare Yeah You Are +5Reply
@erinliannaclare So, one who is turned on by penis, likes boys. Someone who is not turned on by penis, will never fall in love with...

So you're heteroromantic, not heterosexual. Straight, in this connotation, means heterosexual. Ergo, you're not straight.

@Asteriski So you're heteroromantic, not heterosexual. Straight, in this connotation, means heterosexual. Ergo, you're not...

Nonono. This is where I think people are mistaken. Just because one girl can say another girl is good looking does not mean she is not straight. e.g. Jessica Alba is sexy, but that doesn't mean I think anything beyond that. If I ever met her I probably wouldn't be interested in her, because I have only ever had feelings for guys. Therefore I am straight.

@Asteriski Do you find them good looking or sexually attractive? You've said both.

I'm not into girls..... I can say a girl is pretty or good looking while being straight. Not in a way where I want them but just in that they are visually appealing. I feel like I am just repeating myself now.. do I have to think all girls are ugly to be straight?

erinliannaclares avatar erinliannaclare Yeah You Are +1Reply
@erinliannaclare I'm not into girls..... I can say a girl is pretty or good looking while being straight. Not in a way where I want...

You just said that you think Jessica Alba is sexy. You don't have to find them ugly, but if you think they're sexually appealing, you're not straight.

@Asteriski You just said that you think Jessica Alba is sexy. You don't have to find them ugly, but if you think they're...

Ok, then I have one more question for you. If a straight girl or straight guy watches and gets turned on by porn, does that make them gay? No it doesn't.... by what you are saying, nobody would be straight.

@Xefon Actually yeah it does. It doesn't determine their romantic attraction, but it does determine their sexual...

Yes, but something as vague as "not liking penis" doesn't determine exact sexual attraction. If anything, it only rules out heterosexuality if you're a girl or homosexuality if you're a guy. Someone who doesn't like penis could be asexual or objectosexual or treesexual or anything-which-does-not-include-penis-sexual. In my opinion, that's so vague that it barely determines anything.

ctiscoolers avatar ctiscooler Yeah You Are +3Reply

By definition, lesbians like girls, and girls don't have penises. And by definition, bi people like both boys and girls, and like penis and vagina. It's not the fact that you like their genitals, but the fact that they posses the genitals of the sex you're attracted to.

And if by sexuality, you mean gay straight bi etc, then the gender they like (and remember, gender is determined by what genitals they have) has to posses the genitals of that gender.

@Frank_n_Furter By definition, lesbians like girls, and girls don't have penises. And by definition, bi people like both boys and...

My point is, you could be lesbian and still be turned on by penis. You could have sex with a guy and it could still feel good (not to be weird; just trying to make my point). But in the end a lesbian would not fall in love with a guy, she'd fall in love with a girl. So saying lesbians "don't like dick" isn't necessarily always true and isn't a good way to put it.

erinliannaclares avatar erinliannaclare Yeah You Are +6Reply
@erinliannaclare My point is, you could be lesbian and still be turned on by penis. You could have sex with a guy and it could...

I don't think she'd be turned on by the actual penis its self, but she could be turned on by a guy and the penis would obviously feel good because it's sexually stimulating, that is if she was OK with having sex without emotion. But when people say lesbians don't like dick, they're not talking about the sex organ, they're talking about the gender in possession of it. At least in my experience they are. As for bi people, they really don't care which one is in their pants for them to like someone.

@Frank_n_Furter I don't think she'd be turned on by the actual penis its self, but she could be turned on by a guy and the penis...

Yeah you are right. I am just referring to the people who mean it literally when they say it. People who think that what makes a girl a lesbian is the fact that she "does not like dick". But yes I totally agree with what you are saying

erinliannaclares avatar erinliannaclare Yeah You Are +1Reply
@Frank_n_Furter By definition, lesbians like girls, and girls don't have penises. And by definition, bi people like both boys and...

Gender isn't determined by genitals, sex is. Gender is the psychological/societal grouping of a person into categories based upon femininity and masculinity.

Wynauts avatar Wynaut Yeah You Are +1Reply

Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two different things. You can want to have sex with someone, but not want a relationship with them - and you can want a relationship with someone, but not want sex with them. People tend to lump the two together.

You're right, though. Transsexual men and women often have partners who are attracted to them for their gender, not their genitalia. People can have exceptions. A lesbian could be in a happy relationship with a gay man, theoretically (remember the difference between sexual and romantic attraction). Gender's a bit more complicated than just what's in your pants.

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@1699475

Wrll in. It going to speak in blanket terms for bisexual people, but for me sexual attraction has only ever happened after emotional attraction, and thereby I see it as necessary for sexual attraction to occur. I find people attractive without knowing their personality, but that's more about aesthetic pleasure than sexual pleasure. Even for when it is on the sexual side, (meaning I am aroused by their appearance) it almost never culminates to the idea that I'd want to have sex with them. For example, I find a lot of guys attractive, but I'm really adverse to sexual experiences with them. It might be weird, but that's me. The only person I have ever even slightly considered sexually attractive in the sense that I might one day consider having sex with him, I had already fallen in love with for quite awhile.

Wynauts avatar Wynaut Yeah You Are +4Reply
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