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Isn't the probability of there being extraterrestrial life actually staggeringly high?
So true. When I was younger, I conflated the two as well. Whenever I'd hear the term 'alien/extraterrestrial life', I'd assume they meant intelligent life. Which of course is a mistake.
I think there is an abundance of highly intelligent, spacefaring life out there, but we may be spread too far apart to communicate with one another. Remember space is immensely vast. To make contact with another intelligent civilization we'd have to overcome the boundaries of space and time itself, which may or may not be possible. Really tickles your noggin.