"Goodbye everyone, I'll see you all in therapy" or something along those lines from Plankton. I feel like it's one of those dark jokes from that show & that's why i like it
I love the democracy one especially. Aside from the more serious things he's been quoted as saying though, Churchill was always so witty and had a great sense of humour. There's lots of stories about him that have always made me laugh.
There's one about when he turned up to class drunk and his teacher said "you are very drunk" and he replied "yes ma'am I am. And you are very ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you shall still be very ugly".
Another one was when he was woken up and informed of a scandal that had broken out in the press about....I think it was a royal guard and a maid in Buckingham Palace if I remember right....and they had been caught the night before having sex in a bush in Hyde Park. Churchill said "last night? Wasn't last night the coldest night we've had in years?" "Yes sir, it was" he replied. "Makes you proud to be British".
I don't know if I'd consider it my 'favourite' but seeing as it's what I want read out at my funeral, it warrants being used in reply to a post like this.
"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outweighs the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupifying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.We lucky few who won the lottery of birth. How dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which most of us have never stirred".
― Richard Dawkins, Unweaving The Rainbow
The last sentence isn't in the book but he's sometimes added that on when he's quoted it in public.
"Look at these people: these human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than - no, hold on . . . Sorry, that's 'The Lion King'. But the point still stands." - David Tennant, as the Tenth Doctor
The land is one great wild, untidy, luxuriant hothouse, made by Nature for herself, but taken possession of by man... I endeavoured to fix in my mind forever the thousand images which unite these into one perfect scene that I know must fade away: yet they will leave, like a tale heard in childhood, a picture full of indistinct, but most beautiful figures. -C. Darwin, Voyage of the Beagle
"'Do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!'
'Well, now that we have seen each other,' said the unicorn, 'if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.'" -Lewis Carroll
"Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards, we regret coming to Earth and we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up out raggedy-ass fleet!"
"OORAH!"
""Usually the good Lord works in mysterious ways. But not today! indicates tank This here is 66 tons of straight up, H-E-spewing dee-vine intervention! And if God is lover, then you can call me Cupid!"
"When I joined the Corps we didn't have any fancy-schmancy tanks. We had sticks. Two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon! And we had to share the rock!"
"You are horrified at our intending to do away with private property. But in your existing society private property is already done away with for nine-tenths of the population." - Barack Hussein Obama
“There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." -John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
I just got done reading this book, so I guess that's why my two quotes that I finally picked are from his book. Damn, it was amazing.
I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
― Isaac Newton
I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being--that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.
― Mark Twain
"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best." -Adolf Hitler
Haha, I'm dying right now.
I laughed a little, that's a favorite of mine as well.
"
Haha, clever.
I have so many that it would be an injustice to just list a few of them
I completely understand :) That's why I didn't share mine either, haha.
"Goodbye everyone, I'll see you all in therapy" or something along those lines from Plankton. I feel like it's one of those dark jokes from that show & that's why i like it
Spongebob: "Are you ready to go crazy tonight, Patrick?!"
Patrick: "I'M ALREADY HEARING VOICES!"
Ah, I love spongebob.
Fuck bitches, get money
Abe lincoln.
I have a few.
"Without condoning or condemning, I understand." -Dr. Manhattan
The rest are Winston Churchill.
“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”
“We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.”
I could go on for quite a while. I don't remember them, but I copy and pasted.
Those are nice
I love the democracy one especially. Aside from the more serious things he's been quoted as saying though, Churchill was always so witty and had a great sense of humour. There's lots of stories about him that have always made me laugh.
There's one about when he turned up to class drunk and his teacher said "you are very drunk" and he replied "yes ma'am I am. And you are very ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you shall still be very ugly".
Another one was when he was woken up and informed of a scandal that had broken out in the press about....I think it was a royal guard and a maid in Buckingham Palace if I remember right....and they had been caught the night before having sex in a bush in Hyde Park. Churchill said "last night? Wasn't last night the coldest night we've had in years?" "Yes sir, it was" he replied. "Makes you proud to be British".
I don't know if I'd consider it my 'favourite' but seeing as it's what I want read out at my funeral, it warrants being used in reply to a post like this.
"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outweighs the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupifying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.We lucky few who won the lottery of birth. How dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which most of us have never stirred".
― Richard Dawkins, Unweaving The Rainbow
The last sentence isn't in the book but he's sometimes added that on when he's quoted it in public.
I really like that, good choice.
"You have the right to...suck my dick, motherfucker!" - Jenko
The most memorable thing my grandfather said to me, was "Eat it, it'll put hair on your chest" about cake.
That sounds better than any quote I'd find in the interwebs. If only it was a book, haha.
"The man who smiles when something has gone wrong has thought of something to blame it on." Robert Bloch
"Look at these people: these human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than - no, hold on . . . Sorry, that's 'The Lion King'. But the point still stands." - David Tennant, as the Tenth Doctor
I love pretty much everything that man says.
Hi Guys - you can now add your favorite quotation to your profile!
Best,
Amirite Support Team
Yes, I like that quote too.
"Where there is a will,there is a way!" Not mine,but I like it!
The land is one great wild, untidy, luxuriant hothouse, made by Nature for herself, but taken possession of by man... I endeavoured to fix in my mind forever the thousand images which unite these into one perfect scene that I know must fade away: yet they will leave, like a tale heard in childhood, a picture full of indistinct, but most beautiful figures. -C. Darwin, Voyage of the Beagle
"'Do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!'
'Well, now that we have seen each other,' said the unicorn, 'if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.'" -Lewis Carroll
Gotta love Lewis.
Haha! Good choice.
"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." G.K. Chesterton
I have others but gah I love this one.
That would be lovely on a wall in a room.
My favorite one liner:
"In the wise words of Helen Keller, (stereotypical 'retarded' noises)"
Haha, I almost choked on my skittles.
"Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards, we regret coming to Earth and we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up out raggedy-ass fleet!"
"OORAH!"
""Usually the good Lord works in mysterious ways. But not today! indicates tank This here is 66 tons of straight up, H-E-spewing dee-vine intervention! And if God is lover, then you can call me Cupid!"
"When I joined the Corps we didn't have any fancy-schmancy tanks. We had sticks. Two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon! And we had to share the rock!"
Anything by Goku
Anything by Patrick Star
And a lot more but I just got lazy
"You are horrified at our intending to do away with private property. But in your existing society private property is already done away with for nine-tenths of the population." - Barack Hussein Obama
"In a world of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act" George Orwell
Amen to that.
"you don't fuck personalities" -davidsplanteII
An original? Nice and totally accurate. I don't know anybody who was fucked a personality.
“There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." -John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
I just got done reading this book, so I guess that's why my two quotes that I finally picked are from his book. Damn, it was amazing.
I have many... here are two of my favorite:
I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
― Isaac Newton
I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being--that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.
― Mark Twain
Oh, I just used it today
"I'm being extremely clever up here and there's nobody to stand around looking impressed-- what's the point of having you people!?"