VicZincs avatar Fashion
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if it's too distracting
don't look
I hate the excuses people give
"it's biology!"
"it's their fault they dress that way!"
shut up already

you can hold in your pee
and you can not eat even when hungry

you can make those choices
you can beat biology in those ways
then
you can make the choice to not be distracted

I've been taught that the first glance is faultless
the second glance is a choice

if something or someone is distracting to me
I shall lower my gaze

of course
"easier said than done"

but it's doable

with that said
I do agree with dressing modestly
and teaching people to treat others like people

and society has been objectifying people
there's more to us people than slabs of meat

this ogling thing is not just something males do
females do it too
and they get away with it much more easily
or at least (to me) society is more acceptable towards females ogling males
stupid double standard

I'm bombarded by images, videos, posters, etc.

whatever makes the sale
right?
who cares about what happens to us

Yes, both boys and girls need to learn not to be distracted. However, tiny shorts and shirts or skin-tight clothing is not appropriate in most school and work environments. While I think that students should be able to express themselves through their clothing (at least in public shools), the students are representing the school and should dress accordingly.

Dances are different, though. Well, I think so. Dances are not places for learning. While the students are still representing the school and should dress at least somewhat modestly, the atmosphere of a dance allows for more "wiggle room" in the dressing department.

Wunderscores avatar Wunderscore Girls need to be taught modesty and dress... +3Reply

In ninth grade there was a girl in my math class who wore a shirt showing off her underboob, which I didn't notice until she was hovering right over me handing out assignments. Math class was both great... and not so great.

I think quite a few of the points brought up by the OP and my fellow commentors have merit, though I'd have to disagree with some as well.

Whether males are just wired to be be more distracted by sexual images than females is debatable: different studies have found different results and to be honest with the myriad of variables involved (whether self-control was emphasized by their upbringing and/or culture, biological variation, personal motivations to look or not to look tied to ego, respect, or shame, etc) I doubt I'd be able to conclude the findings of any study on the subject should be considered the authoritative view without a comprehensive systematic review, for which I simply don't have time.

Personally I see modesty and resisting the urge to ogle both as signs of respect: the first is a sign of respect for people who wish not to fit their own definition of lustful, disrespectful, or out of control, and the second is a sign of respect for those who wish not to be objectified or feel violated. But maybe that's just me. In a school setting, if someone's attire is preventing others from learning (unless it's some sort of religious intolerance situation or whatnot) then I'd consider that disrespectful as well.

I don't see a problem with a more lax dress code at prom since its intended purpose is for students to cut loose, but of course public decency laws should be followed, if for no other reason but to maintain a somewhat hygienic environment, if you catch my drift.

The main problems with trying to teach self control are firstly, that it's truly something developed over a lifetime and tied highly to a person's values, and secondly that people often resist having values impressed upon them, good or otherwise.

Can we beat biology? Often the answer is yes. But I think the more important question is "should we have to?". An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure in my opinion. Beating biology should really be more of a "just in case" scenario, not the norm.

Anonymous +1Reply
@In ninth grade there was a girl in my math class who wore a shirt showing off her underboob, which I didn't notice...

exactly

beating biology isn't the only thing
that's why I listed the other parts
like society
and dress
and conduct as well

Everyone just needs to learn some self control. I think the feelings evoked by the female form are stronger in me than most. Still, I never find that the way anyone dresses distracts me. Perhaps women can dress more modestly, because I get frustrated beyond belief, but that's nobody's problem but my own.

@Mike_Hawk Everyone just needs to learn some self control. I think the feelings evoked by the female form are stronger in me...

it's not just your problem

there are multiple factors
which requires a joint effort and solution

@fuzala it's not just your problem there are multiple factors which requires a joint effort and solution

I'm the only one that has to deal with the problem. It can be asked of women that they dress more modestly, but they don't have any obligation to do so. It's not their problem, and they aren't doing anything that infringes upon anyone's rights.

I can go to therapy for help, but other than that I just have to deal with it.

@fuzala still a joint effort though with society included

How? I can see it being a joint effort with a therapist, but that's only because I can pay one to pay attention to me and help me. Anybody else is free to ignore it. Hell, most of the time I would be berated for being "creepy and weird". I can't just go up to women and be like, "Hi, would you mind being less sexy? Thanks." That would be ridiculous.

@Mike_Hawk How? I can see it being a joint effort with a therapist, but that's only because I can pay one to pay attention to...

of course you wouldn't say that

but I'm going for joint effort because it's not a one-sided thing

based off of what I said
and somewhat off of what A. Gnonimous said below

but I see where you're going with this in that control is your responsibility

The world is full of distractions. Many of these are wonderful. Some are powerful. In many places, however, these distractions should be minimized if possible. This goes for schools, work, hospitals, etc...

If you're going to dress in revealing clothing, don't get all out of shape when people look. If you want to be promiscuous, then go for it... when you're not in school. You're their to learn. In high school, I couldn't believe some of the things other girls would wear; I'd never be comfortable in them.

P.S. Boobs are meant to be stared at :)

Aubss avatar Aubs Girls need to be taught modesty and dress... 0Reply
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