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Three years in a committed relationship is way too long to make someone wait for sex, amirite?

34%Yeah You Are66%No Way
qwerty123s avatar Relationships
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People can wait however long they want.

@Mike_Hawk People can wait however long they want.

Yes they can. I mentioned 3 options: continue waiting, get married, or find someone else.

Key word here is "make" not "committed".

Any relationship where one person "makes" the other do anything is on rocky ground.

Even if you feel "committed", if your partner is making you do something that you do not willing want to do - get out, now!

VicZincs avatar VicZinc Yeah You Are +6Reply
@VicZinc Key word here is "make" not "committed". Any relationship where one person "makes" the other do anything...

Many times, as soon as a couple marry, one thinks they OWN the other person. That is why lots of people refuse to marry. They want a committed relationship but don't necessarily want to go the full committment.
I am not sure anyone can "make" us do anything. They can impress upon us, persuade, manipulate, or blackmail us - but "making" seems a bit strong. I agree 100% however that when the partner tries to change you or expects you to be something you are not or don't want to be, there is trouble.

Committed relationships in old school days meant marriage. Sex typically occurred on wedding night. If there is a 3 yr. commitment, what is to stop the marriage? Many women don't have old fashioned views about sex, but some do. If you are with that kind of guy or girl, you either wait, marry, or find another.

What Vic said... You shouldn't expect your partner to give you sex if they don't want to yet and they shouldn't expect you to wait for it. Solution: You find a person who can meet your sexual desires and your ex-partner can find someone who's more willing to wait for sex.

@StickCaveman What Vic said... You shouldn't expect your partner to give you sex if they don't want to yet and they shouldn't...

Unfortunately, sometimes your partner will stay eith you because they want to, only to continue pushing sex every now and then.

Anonymous 0Reply

There is absolutely no reason why someone should have sex if they don't want to. If one person in the relationship dissents because of age, religion, waiting until marriage, or if they just don't feel ready, then the other person can get the fuck over it or leave. It doesn't matter how long someone has been in a committed relationship; if they don't want sex, they don't want sex.

@AshleyxApocalypse There is absolutely no reason why someone should have sex if they don't want to. If one person in the relationship...

Strange, because I've always thought that if two people are in a relationship, they should make big decisions like that together. But you're making it sound like one person automatically gets their way just because of which side they're on. How cooperative.

qwerty123s avatar qwerty123 Yeah You Are -2Reply
@qwerty123 Strange, because I've always thought that if two people are in a relationship, they should make big decisions like...

but you need permission from both parties

it's not enough that only one is willing

their body
their choice
so it doesn't have to be a joint decision when one decides not to do anything with their body

so yes
the one that is unwilling gets what they want
or the willing one can just leave the relationship

fuzalas avatar fuzala No Way +2Reply
@qwerty123 Strange, because I've always thought that if two people are in a relationship, they should make big decisions like...

They can talk about it together. They should talk about it together. But when one person wants to and the other doesn't, what do you do? One person's desires will be more prominent than the other person's.

I don't think that sex is essential in love

@ravikantsingh10420 I don't think that sex is essential in love

Love comes in many forms. Maternal, Paternal, Filial, not to mention love of country, love of god, love of pizza, love of learning, etc. However, I personally believe that the type of love that is traditional for committed couples in life long relationship requires a mutual sexual relationship.

You can love another person the way you love a brother or a friend (or a god, maybe).

However, when we speak of "true love" (eros, "chemistry", lust, puppy love, etc), that type of love will not last without sex. It might morph into a platonic love over the years but it cannot survive in an environment of chastity.

VicZincs avatar VicZinc Yeah You Are +1Reply
@VicZinc Love comes in many forms. Maternal, Paternal, Filial, not to mention love of country, love of god, love of pizza...

think asexual people

they have felt true love before

also think of immobile people
and really old people

@fuzala think asexual people they have felt true love before also think of immobile people and really old people

you might be right, if there is a difference between the traditional loves (aka Greek loves) then Eros may require sexual intimacy. If not then maybe it is not a requirement.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

VicZincs avatar VicZinc Yeah You Are 0Reply
@VicZinc you might be right, if there is a difference between the traditional loves (aka Greek loves) then Eros may require...

then again
it's not up to us to determine if someone else's love is true or not

they can speak for themselves
they know what they feel

we don't
but they do

@ravikantsingh10420 I don't think that sex is essential in love

What about people who view sexual intimacy as their highest expression of their love towards another? This is very common from male to female.

Yea

Sextalkbja12s avatar Sextalkbja12 Yeah You Are 0Reply
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