Is it worse to have a lot of friends that secretly dislike you or to have no friends at all?

38% Friends That Secretly Dislike You 56% No Friends At All 6% Other
chuckytheduckys avatar Life
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If they secretly dislike you then it's just like having none at all. What's the point in being around a group of people that dislike you? Even if you don't know. I think having hypocrites as friends is worse.

BlindMists avatar BlindMist Friends That Secretly Dislike You +3Reply

Hi,
I appreciate your comments. And everybody is lonely and they all wish they had even one friend. I hope you feel better.smile smilie

Literally loving the comments guys like damn you go

chuckytheduckys avatar chuckytheducky No Friends At All +1Reply
This user has deactivated their account.
@1930311

kids are more cruel because they don't know the effect they have on other people (as much),
and they don't see the perspective of others as clearly

they're still in critical development
they're going through all these big changes and insecurities
they also react strongly with defense mechanisms

that's probably why school years are where most of bullying occurs

you should be my friend
I won't ever call you a fat weird freak

the face I'm making while I say that is right below
Image in content

@1930311

You are bright enough to know that "one size does not fit all." Just because one friend did something does not lead to a conclusion that ALL potential friends will do the same. On those grounds, nobody would ever be able to make a friend OR find a significant other.

freespeechfreelancers avatar freespeechfreelancer No Friends At All 0Reply

Usually I assume everyone I'm not friends with are people that hate me and then once we're friends, I grow quickly attached to them.

As much as I would love to have no friends, I would really prefer having friends that don't like me... I'm a lonely person and even having friends that use me is enough.

Orangiess avatar Orangies No Friends At All 0Reply
@Orangies As much as I would love to have no friends, I would really prefer having friends that don't like me... I'm a lonely...

This is sad. Your wish or desire in this instance is not very healthy and could lead to mishap or even your demise. That is NOT something you want. Users are selfish and think of themselves first. Once they have used you up, they throw you away like a piece of trash. You have way too much going for you to lower yourself to that form of acceptance. Get a pet and pour yourself in to it. Go do some volunteer work at a children's hospital or nursing home. Reach out and do something for someone who can not return the favor. You will be amazed at what will happen.

freespeechfreelancers avatar freespeechfreelancer No Friends At All 0Reply
@freespeechfreelancer This is sad. Your wish or desire in this instance is not very healthy and could lead to mishap or even your demise...

People have always said I'm too nice (which I don't believe most of the time, I mean, I'm extremely honest with people and they consider it rude so...) and too forgiving. I've had friends that have used me, and I have friends that don't use me and instead hate me. The friends I do have, I can't open up to and don't even want to spend much time with me. So basically, I don't think I've ever truly had a real friend at all. It's because of that I don't mind having 'Fake Friends' and am afraid of being alone to the point I have no friends.

I already have a pet, she's a dog, and she doesn't like me all that much. She prefers my Mom. I want my Mom to buy me a fish but... Oh, well. But my dog helps, because I find myself having conversations with her... Most people find that weird.

A twelve year old can only do so much, and even though I wish to do the things you listed... I can't. The reasons, frankly, are too complicated and I can't explain them all, but long story short, I can't.

Orangiess avatar Orangies No Friends At All 0Reply
@Orangies People have always said I'm too nice (which I don't believe most of the time, I mean, I'm extremely honest with...

Just reading the comments on this one simple post should be proof enough to show all of us that world peace or utopia are simply impossible. Here are several decent caring people, longing for and wanting a true friend more than anything. And for whatever assortment of reasons, can't find or have one! That is just extremely pathetic.
I have read enough of your posts to know you are one very sharp young lady. I totally admire and respect you. I would have never known your age had you not shared it. And yes, being under the restraints and constraints of parents and family brings both benefits and consequences (or limitations). You really are not free to pursue all avenues to solve your dilemma.
But there is nothing worse than having a "fake" friend or someone you can not truly open up to. One of the points of having a close friend is to have a confidante or one to find solace in. And just because you can't or haven't found that person, does not mean they don't exist. You just have not crossed paths yet.
Never blame yourself for who or what you are. "Too nice," "too rude," "too honest" - all nothing to be ashamed of or blamed FOR. Those are excellent qualities that many don't possess.
I am sure you are an avid reader, and that is one source of friendship. Books will not only teach you things, but take you in to other worlds. You can identify with many "fake" friends in them, and they will not hurt or take advantage of you. Music is a great friend. At the lowest point in my life, I had my songs. And they too, can not take advantage of you. Music never stops and is ALWAYS there for you. Social media is another "friend" in that you are talking to and with people who will listen and respond (as we are doing). If you want to get really close and personal with someone on these sites, there are the direct message options, email, or texting. Finally, if you don't already keep a journal, I would encourage you to do so. Start writing down all your feelings and ways you see life. Talk to the paper as if it were your closest friend. You will be amazed what that can do to comfort.

freespeechfreelancers avatar freespeechfreelancer No Friends At All 0Reply

I was going to say what Blind said. If they dislike or hate you, you have been deceived and lied to. If you WANT and CHOOSE to be used, then that is your business. I would walk through life as a loner before giving in to users and haters.

freespeechfreelancers avatar freespeechfreelancer No Friends At All 0Reply

If you have no friends then you would most likely end up having poor social skills.They can still be useful to have around and through them you can meet new people, be invited to places, be exposed to new things, etc. And having no friends at all is worse for your health and well-being.

@PopsicleStick If you have no friends then you would most likely end up having poor social skills.They can still be useful to have...

that's what I was thinking too

but I also thought about the secret dislike doing permanent damage

people are social creatures
but friends by choice aren't the only people to interact with
there are family members
neighbors

just greeting a stranger can do wonders

@fuzala that's what I was thinking too but I also thought about the secret dislike doing permanent damage people are...

In this scenario I assumed you would be forever oblivious to your friends hating you. But yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah, I guess you could still get close to other people but not too close too develop a friendship.

well...are they your friends if they "secretly" dislike you?!

CombatSkills avatar CombatSkill No Friends At All 0Reply

well...are they your friends if they "secretly" dislike you?!

CombatSkills avatar CombatSkill No Friends At All 0Reply

Don't you just love the Clique?

Anyways, I think Ill have to go with Claire's choice: to have one good friend, even if everyone else openly hates you.

I think it's easier to make a new friend than it is to detach from "friends" you already have, even bad ones, because its hard to let things go sometimes.

JollyOles avatar JollyOle Friends That Secretly Dislike You 0Reply

I'd much rather have no friends than ones that hated me in secret. It would kill my psyche if I found out the people I trusted most hated me, so I'd much rather be alone and healthier mentally than around people who want nothing good for me.

LeyTheFleas avatar LeyTheFlea Friends That Secretly Dislike You 0Reply
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