Being 'Your Highest, Best Self' should supplant striving to be 'Real Men', 'Real Women', or even 'Ladies'.
I posit that the idea of "Real Man" or "Lady" is outmoded and simply needs to be replaced with the idea of striving to be the best human being you can be. Positive personality traits are not sex-specific.
This is distinct from determining traits that are simply "masculine" and "feminine": e.g. one can be very masculine and still be a criminal, or one can exhibit leadership and still be feminine.
(Also: why are so many of the role models people hold up as ideals either fictional characters, or the actors who portray them, rather than real, flesh and blood, three-dimensional people?)