At what point is our loyalty to someone or some ideal broken?

I am attempting to wrap my head around the psychological and neurological idea of loyalty and its breaking point. Many of of can be loyal to a spouse or religion or some other cause. However, every once in a while we become disillusioned and no longer have that loyalty. This may come on slowly over years, or perhaps it is sudden such as the instant realization of betrayal (eg. catching a spouse cheating)

I am curious to know the psychological factors for the breaking point and what is happening in our mind, how do we justify it and how much pain, abuse, insults, etc will we take before the loyalty is gone.

I am also curious to get input from neurologists, neuro-scientists etc. Constant input to neurons and synaptic firing create strong connections allowing us to build up heuristics that lead to loyalty. (if I have that concept correct) But, a sudden betrayal can change that very quickly. Anyone have an explanation for how the brain overrides years of neuronal patterns?

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