What sets apart those driven by failure and trauma and those destroyed by it?

I'm not sure if this can be considered a question or a debate but: What sets apart people who are driven forwards by failure or traumatic events and those that collapse in on themselves when presented with similar circumstances?

Is it a chance event that swings their lives into a categorically driven state of mind, eg Aimee Mullins and her doctor bribing her with 100 dollars to stick with her physio at age 5 or is it more grey than that with subconscious factors that can't be accounted for?

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on what makes a someone into a strong, motivated person or a psychological mess in the wake of a failure or traumatic event in their lives.

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