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It's so unfair that gay people have to come out, or tell people that they are gay, straight people don't have to tell their parents they're straight or other people because that's "normal".

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@1987962

Not uncommon to feel that way and to change one's mind later in life.
Parents should understand that.

It's a bit redundant to explain that you are what is already expected. And, because what is most prevalent is generally what is expected, it isn't a surprise that straight people don't "come out." I don't understand why "normal" is in quotation marks though. Heterosexuality is normal in most cultures that I'm aware of.

@Wunderscore It's a bit redundant to explain that you are what is already expected. And, because what is most prevalent is...

well, I put normal in quotations because it's kind of like being left handed, not many people are left handed but just because they aren't the majority doesn't make them abnormal.

@SolFlower well, I put normal in quotations because it's kind of like being left handed, not many people are left handed but...

When people see me writing with my left hand they exclaim "you're left handed?! I have an (insert aquaintance here) who's left handed!" People like to point out the unusual.

@Wunderscore It's a bit redundant to explain that you are what is already expected. And, because what is most prevalent is...

But you see, the use of the word "normal" here is the problem, which the OP highlights very well (and why, I assume, it is in brackets). If we agree that the only real "normal" thing is that you are what you are, then being gay should also be viewed as being normal. Saying that being straight is normal strongly implies that being gay is somehow "abnormal" which carries very strong negative connotations. I'm a homosexual, but I consider myself perfectly "normal" in most other ways. I like sports, drink with my friends at weekends, I have a job, I get stressed out sometimes, I like cheese, I don't like celery...the list goes on and on. Why, then, do we make strange statements like someone is "not normal" because of the one tiny aspect of their sexual orientation?

@TommyUK1234 But you see, the use of the word "normal" here is the problem, which the OP highlights very well (and why, I...

It is abnormal. The issue isn't that it's abnormal, it's that some people seem to think that normal is good and abnormal is bad. Being abnormal in one regard doesn't make a version abnormal overall. I don't think that anyone here is arguing otherwise. But saying that being gay is normal is simply wrong for the entire human population, and for many other more specific populations.

@Wunderscore It is abnormal. The issue isn't that it's abnormal, it's that some people seem to think that normal is good and...

You see, it's the connotations behind it that are the problem. If you can convince everyone to share our view that they shouldn't worry about that, then great! (best of luck with that). How would you like to be called "abnormal" for all the little things about you that don't share with the majority of people? Isn't it more important to look at the whole person, rather than picking on this one tiny aspect of them? I mean, look at the so-called "normal" people in the world, and the dark secrets they have harbored over the years. Why is it you refuse to accept that being gay isn't enough to dub a person as abnormal. Being sexual is normal, we can agree on that right? And so why is truly abnormal to be a homosexual? It occurs in other animals as well? Who says that numbers have to dictate what is normal? Convention does not create some kind of empirically acceptable absolute truth.

@TommyUK1234 You see, it's the connotations behind it that are the problem. If you can convince everyone to share our view that...

It's a personal choice. I don't need to convince everyone, but I think that for people who are offended by being abnormal, it's an important distinction to make.

I am abnormal in many regards. If someone pointed out every way that I'm abnormal, I'd say "you're right, those aren't normal qualities." And for most of them, I'd be glad that I am different than what is expected.

I think you ignored the part where I said "Being abnormal in one regard doesn't make a version abnormal overall. I don't think that anyone here is arguing otherwise." Even though I meant to say person not version.

@Wunderscore It's a personal choice. I don't need to convince everyone, but I think that for people who are offended by being...

As wonderfully progressive and reassuring as your view is, I think you are demonstrating a total lack of empathy and understanding for people in that situation. There's nothing abnormal about being who you really are. I'm afraid that's just the way it is, or at least the way it should be.

@TommyUK1234 As wonderfully progressive and reassuring as your view is, I think you are demonstrating a total lack of empathy...

If a part of you is different than the norm, then it is abnormal. That's literally what abnormal means. I don't think that I'm lacking empathy because I don't think that there's a need to display empathy whatsoever in this conversation, as being different isn't a bad thing. There are instances in which I am abnormal, and those qualities don't make me a lesser person even slightly. If you want me to feel bad for people that dwell on not fitting in, I won't, because fitting in perfectly is shit. Maybe it is insensitive. But I'm not going to support people fighting to be boring.

@Wunderscore If a part of you is different than the norm, then it is abnormal. That's literally what abnormal means. I don't...

If you can't see the negative charge in abnormal and be a little more sensitive to that, then it's your problem. I'm not trying to sound like the PC police or anything, but you must understand that it's wholly unhelpful to be so unmoving and intransigent about the way words impact on people. Your creed is nothing short of yielding to a fascistic view that we all must just accept what others say is "normal" and accept that we are not that. What is normal is entirely a matter of perspective, and that is why the word is so charged. What's more, if you acknowledge that we are all a bit different, then why do we even discuss what normal is. Clearly none of us truly are...which then makes us all normal, does it not....

Anyway, resisting the semantic thrills and returning to the OP for just a moment. The OP is pointing out the injustice and unfair nature of gay people being made to feel that they have to come out, have to have that horrible conversation with their parents etc. I don't see any real argument from you that it is really anything but unfair. It absolutely IS reasonable to expect others to be more understand and empathetic towards people of any minority, regardless of what that is. We all fall into some kind of category like that, and we yet we don't all have to be out there declaring it as though it were dodgy goods being brought through customs. Frankly, your view smacks of someone who is just wanting people to stop whining because you've got it made under the current state of things.

@TommyUK1234 If you can't see the negative charge in abnormal and be a little more sensitive to that, then it's your problem...

If you want to continue to ignore the literal definition of normal, fine. But you'll be just as grumpy as you are right now.

Then don't. If you think it's unfair, do what you think is fair. Just because I'm straight doesn't mean that I don't have struggles or that I'm not a minority in other regards. Maybe if you weren't so unlikeable I'd be more inclined to show you sympathy. Then again, maybe not.

@Wunderscore If you want to continue to ignore the literal definition of normal, fine. But you'll be just as grumpy as you are...

Amazing. It's like you just took everything I'd said and threw it in your "make it work for me" machine and then hung it all out as if it were your own ideas.

To address your living by literal definitions...it does nothing but reinforce my point that you're living in a fantasy world where everything is clear in black and white and we can all just live our lives by Johnson's Law. I think it's also worth pointing out to you that in your attempt to make us all see that because in one line of a dictionary it doesn't seem that hurtful that we should all therefore stop worrying about it, you utterly fail to grasp the REAL meaning of the word and how it used and understood by people. The English dictionary is little more than a rough guide to the language, it is how people actually use it and respond to it in daily life that is important here. And it is this that you fail miserably to understand yourself.

Why are you now acting like I didn't address the fact that you too have minority aspects. I SAID THAT AGES AGO! It is astonishing to me that you refuse to see the injustice and inequality in what the OP is addressing. And I can't believe you'd start on me about being "likeable" hahahaha, you're so cold that you probably have your periods in cubes.

Sticking to the point made by the OP. It is UNFAIR that this state of affairs is the way it is. You can continue to incorrectly infer that I somehow flap around like a wet hen because of that, but you'd be wrong again, and you'd continue to be frosty and uncaring. Also, I talked about EMPATHY not sympathy --- there's a significant difference. How about you re-open your dictionary and take a look at those words?

@TommyUK1234 Amazing. It's like you just took everything I'd said and threw it in your "make it work for me" machine and then...

If you're going to continue to misinterpret what I say and repeat your opinion in the same way over and over again, the argument isn't worth having.

Also if think you of all people would understand typos since you fucked up conservative and liberal on a post recently, and they don't even sound anything alike.

@Wunderscore If you're going to continue to misinterpret what I say and repeat your opinion in the same way over and over again...

You are right on the definition of abnormal, but the meaning a word conveys is not limited by its dry definition.

See "connotation and denotation". Connotation is very much as real as denotation, even though it is not in the dictionary. When someone uses a word they convey both meanings, whether they mean it or not.

If you want to agree on the fact that the connotation of a word is not just uncalled-for personal interpretation, you'll realise why so many (dare I say most) people don't like any aspect of their self to be called "abnormal".

@hugo You are right on the definition of abnormal, but the meaning a word conveys is not limited by its dry...

Only if you give it that meaning. I know what a connotation is. But it is abnormal.

@Wunderscore Only if you give it that meaning. I know what a connotation is. But it is abnormal.

"Only if you give it that meaning."
No you don't know what connotation means. Seems like my previous comment was just a whistle in the wind.

Well that's because parents assume their child is straight, considering 90% of the population is straight as well. It might be unfair but it completely makes sense for parents to assume their child fits in with 90% of the population unless told otherwise.

Banes avatar Bane Disagree +1Reply
@Bane Well that's because parents assume their child is straight, considering 90% of the population is straight as well...

that doesn't answer as to the necessity of one needing to sit down and have that HORRIBLE conversation with their parents about it. No matter how well they take it, it's still an awful and embarrassing thing to have to do. Such an assumption is wrong, it doesn't matter about numbers and percentages, it doesn't make it right.

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@1987217

So...let's take another approach here. I'm sure there's something you're in a minority for too (since pretty much all of us are.) How would you feel if society EXPECTED you to sit down and discuss all your minority points with your parents as if they are some defect that you have to disclose to them. How would you then feel if I dismiss your concerns with "don't get uppity about it, you're in a minority, so just deal with it"?

@Wunderscore If you have a problem with expectations, don't adhere to them. Done.

Wow...you must be some sort of oracle or something, because I'd literally never ever thought of that ever. Since you evidently don't live in the real world, could you possibly point me in the direction of the fantasy land that you live in because I'd very much like to start scoping apartments in that place. Thaaaaaanks.

@TommyUK1234 Wow...you must be some sort of oracle or something, because I'd literally never ever thought of that ever. Since...

Sass me all you want, but nobody's forcing you to do anything. If you choose not to take full advantage of your free will, that's your choice

@Wunderscore Sass me all you want, but nobody's forcing you to do anything. If you choose not to take full advantage of your...

And when the masses decide to unshackle minorities from their hideous and humiliating conventions, maybe the whole world will be much better for it.

Are you kidding me? Parents are constantly suspicious of their straight children unless they see proof of 24-7 heterosexual courtship. My parents have said to me like three times "It's okay to be gay, you know." and invited me to come out of the closet. Sexual orientation is ambigious no matter what.

613s avatar 613 Disagree +1Reply

Feel like I should be getting some credit here......

http://www.amirite.com/728534-c...-that-gays-are

I'm now praying to every potential deity that the dates line up with my claim now.....should've checked but I'm literally clicking "Add Comment" now...

I'm sure it's already been said, but people need to come out because yeah, it's not the norm. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being gay, but people assume what's normally true with people. There are a lot more straight people than non-straights (at least to my knowledge) and because of this people assume.

Ethans avatar Ethan Disagree 0Reply

I've met a great number of gay people, for whom it would be quite redundant to have to declare their orientation.
The issue you address as rather one of acceptance by society, or the lack of it.
Before being accepted, it will have to be understood for what it is, an abnormality that develops during gestation, caused by hormonal imbalances in the mothers body.

@Daver I've met a great number of gay people, for whom it would be quite redundant to have to declare their orientation...

you take your "abnormality" language and shove it up your arse. That's a horrible way of expressing it. Get a clue! How about we put you in a room for interrogation to find out what all your own "abnormalities" are?

That's not unfair. It is normal. Penis go with vagina

JewZillas avatar JewZilla Disagree -3Reply
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