thank you :P
to do it
1) Capture several mosquitoes in a jar
2) place the jar over your genitalia until said mosquitoes are satiated any your gnards are tender and swollen
3) deny yourself the right to any sexual activity of any kind including the right to "touch yourself" down there
4) Cry like a baby
That should do it
It's not quick but it is easy, live an uninteresting life where you never move forward, never improve yourself, never seek out greater things. Just slowly waste away in a life as your friends and family either die or lose interest in you.
That's pretty torturous, you might like that.
Of course if you're looking for something more immediate and physical, rather than mental anguish, try buying a whip or something, those are plenty of fun.
to not pay your internet &/or cable bill