What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?

Lucythetooths avatar Relationships
10 167

"Where have you been hiding all my life"? I replied,"From you"!

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see Platinum , I can even change my name lolz this could be fun ^ mischief to be had XD

and you can't click on the name to find the profile
so that's how they clone here

Oh this is very bad , this could cause all kinds of trouble

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Girl you should sell hot dogs....

Because you already know how to make a wiener stand.

"your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"

hey babe, hows about a little kiss ;D lol

"I want to fill you with my seed."

swt smilie

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Love your t-shirt. Where's it made? (Checking) I see it's Made in Heaven.

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I like that one..and it may work too.hehe

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LMAO...OMG...that is hilarious...I'll take funny over cheesy any day...

I am the only REAL cowboy in this bar....

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I think so. I have not really figured out this site yet...

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@Sheila I am the only REAL cowboy in this bar....

That should have been a warning right there. That's a line from the song,' I'm not as good as I once was'.

I had to LOL at him Dave. I said really? What event? He answered "Bull Riding". I just laughed. I said "Honey every other event is a test of actual cowboy skills. Bull riding came from drunk guys with no women around riding the range and saying "I bet I could ride that bull""....

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My husband and I are cracking up over here
TO THIS DAY, he still says that to me. And all these years I thought it was an original of his!!!! I had NO CLUE there was an actual song attached to it!! This is just a kick in the pants!! It is cheesier than cheesey.. but I never thought of it as a pick up line. We've been married so long I just thought it was one of those "not so subtle hints" he drops when he's in the mood and wants to let me know. Subtlety has never been his forte'. That is WAY too much fun!!! Thanks for sharing!!

"Did you fart? Because you blew me away"

It's amazing how flat out silly.... or creative... which ever way you would like to look at it, what people will say to see you naked and/or get in your pants! Just a life long observation!! It's free entertainment to say the least!!!
biggrin smilie

Indeed I was. And that is her opening line to all her shows. "how ya doin?" There is a whole "pick up line dementia" attached to it. I thought you were being rather clever using it. My excuse was, and still is, we used to leave the TV on for our dogs when we were out. So, even though I rarely sit down and literally watch the TV, it is background noise. The tv or the stereo are on 24/7. I do hear 98 % of what I refer to about the TV. I only watch certain shows that interest me. Our dogs have long since past and it is a habit that needs to be dropped. That is my fact, not excuse. Big smiles!! I think all of us spend too much time staring at screeens. Any screen. But, I am not one to place judgement nor to say I am any better. I have had the wonderful opportunity and wallow in the friendships, like you are and I developing, from these little boxes. I look forward to coming here and Askaholics daily. I just have been extremely busy lately. We are remodeling our house and I really suck at computers. I would have never ventured over here had it not been for someone, (I don't remember who) who mentioned this on the closing days of ASK.com. I am very loyal to my friends and to the social networks I choose to engage in. It was a wonderful thing, I think, that I took a risk (for me anyway) to give amirite a chance. I would never have ventrued off Askaholics. Many of them are my long time friends. I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out Disqus. over there. I guess I was on it about 2 years ago.... etc. etc. etc. but I can't seem to get them to connect. If you are over there, I think you might have ventured. Please do! They are wonderful people and dear friends of mine. I simply haven't had the time to spend getting the Disqus. thing to work. In a good way that I feel anyway, ... It has brought me here and expounded my horizons. I still don't know how to work amirite either. But, I'm trying.
After all this and we are back on the subject of pick up lines... and songs that SerenityGuruOfLove brought up with her funny answer..

How about this one:

"Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw?" Off the top of my head, I can't think of who sung that... It's not Jimmy Buffet.. but, if it hasn't been used... it might be a good and honest one!! jolly smilieomg smilieo_o smiliehehe smilieh smiliewt smiliebiggrin smilie

@Merlin Indeed I was. And that is her opening line to all her shows. "how ya doin?" There is a whole "pick up line...

I taught sign language for years. Whenever my husband and I went to our lake house, there was a little bar there. The evening would not be complete until someone put that song on the jukebox and I would sign it for the people in the bar😊

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

guy: giggity giggity goo u know what that means hirl its what quagmire says when he sees something he likes! me: ummm ok

You got 216 bones in your body? Want one more?

Let's do Netflix and Chill!
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I've heard so many, it's hard to pick just one. I've actually burst out laughing a few times. Men don't take that very well, either. I miss those days sometimes.

You must be retarded, because you look special to me.

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That's offensive to kids who actually did that though.

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I agree with you. I just heard the pickup line once, I thought it was stupid. Not going to get you anywhere anyway.


One of my daughters actually said that to a guy once. It got rid of him, fast!

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You didn't hear it from me. Only one of us needs to get slapped.

"im gonna tear you apart"...almost a rape threat....?

I don't mind ketchup on my HotDog >> as long as the bun is tight!

Just heard it for the first time Saturday night at work. "I'm here, So-And-So. Now, What Are Your Other Two Wishes?"

In a store: "So you shop here often?"

In a store: "So you shop here often?" =D

I hang with a pretty funny crowd over here. I always like to give credit where credit is due, I can't take credit for any of these because I didn't say them nor do I remember who actually did. Please take note, they are being introduced under, "quoted from, unknown." Some of these are oldies but goodies: "Are your legs tired? Because you've been running around in my head since the first moment I saw you." "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" (Not one of my favorites) This next one is pretty stupid too, but better than the falling one: "Do you have a map? I always get lost in your eyes." All these are cheesy, but I think they meet the criteria ! :)

Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!

Don't walk into that building -- the sprinklers might go off!

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Good Afternoon Melizmatic and BattleBattlerBenji~ I see it is after 11 am which is when "Wendy" comes on out here. Did you watch her today?
I'd like to add to my answer if I may... (please take personal note: I would not know this if I wasn't as guilty as I am about to assume you two .. I do have an excuse though... as expected giggle on me...) As I strp on my Nikes and run away from the Zombies who are known not to move very fast (how could they? 1/2 their muscles have been eaten and torn through? Not mine...!) I would have to scold myself and say, "Stop watching so much TV and the Zombie effect would have never entered your brains! You'd be out running and playing on this beautiful earth and enjoying each others company experiencing things yourself personally and not staring at the Zombie initiated box, the T.V.!"
Thank you for letting me expound on my Nike and athletic answer.
biggrin smilie

My husband (his name is Don for future reference :)) and I are still remodeling... We are into the painting stage... BUT, before we put our computers to rest while we paint (Lord knows I'll get it everywhere but the walls and doors..) I came to close out and saw you had re-sparked interest in this very fun question. The true answer is this; however, there is a short story attached:
We've been happily married, in all senses of the word, for 20 years.
We have a long time friend who has had really bad luck with women. My theory on "why" has to do with his infatuation with "just" T and A which feeds into this.
One day, we were over at his house and he was sharing w/us his girlfriends WOAHs. I was sitting on my husband's knee while he was telling us. Don reached around from behind me and cupped my tits. I just smiled. "Paul" looked at us baffled and said, "What made it work for you two?... Merlin, what did Mr. Merlin say to you?"
With his hands still perfectly placed, I looked over my left shoulder and he leaned around to meet my eyes and we simultaneously winked at each other...
I was bar tending at the time and had been for years. I thought I had heard almost every line in the book, until Dons.
Luckily for me, Don had been coming to this restaurant/bar for years. He wasn't and still isn't that much of a drinker. He is a contractor and his crew and "the gang" all met there after work for a pitcher about 3 times a week, Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays.
One Friday after playing the Pinball Game, "Attack From Mars," they all had hung out a lot longer than usual. In front of a bar full of mostly men and all his crew, I was bent over with my butt facing the bar, and he said, "Hey Merlin..." I turned around after grabbing the Long Neck Budweiser out of the cooler, and leaned down in front of him in a v-necked tight sweater to grab a glass and said, "Ya Don, what would you like?" He replied, with a twinkle in his eye, and a dimple showing off his smile, "Show me your pussy and suck my cock." I smiled back and said, "Sure, I get off in an hour."
And we have lived happily ever after. !!!
Happy Trails... there is no end... We are very happy, happy, happy!

The funnier thing is we pulled off telling this story and Paul went out and actually tried it on many women! He did land one. Their story didn't turn out as wonderfully as ours. She left him the next morning.
I guess the chemistry wasn't there for them.

It was and still is a great *story to tell if the audience is right. I'm not sure it is here... but I hope so.

That is NOT how it happened for us.. We have yet to tell him this.. We didn't have the heart after we found out he took us seriously...
There ya go. That is and was the best line I've ever supposedly "heard" in my life. And it worked..... hahahahahahaaa!!!

"Hey baby! Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap? I want to get something straight between us."

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Oh my I wonder why???? LOL

You must be from Jamaica because Jamaican me crazy.

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YouTube video thumbnail i am christian, but these pick up lines are down right dumb IMO

Some fool told me I had nice wide hips good for having babies. I have never been a skinny girl that made me angry.

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I know I've always thought so, ;-)

If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

Do you have any Tylanol substance?

Something about earmuffs and thighs....

"Are you from Tennessee? Coz you fell from heaven."

Love it so cheesy.

Any one that doesn't work..

I think "come with me if you want to bang" is a good pickup line. It isn't misleading at all! He doesn't say "come with me if you want a pizza" in an attempt to lure you in with food. He doesn't say " come with me if you want to bang my friend Carl" when really he is the one who would like to have sex with you. It's straightforward and to the point, but still gives the person you are trying to bang an option to not come with you if they don't want to, so it's not threatening. Unlike Carl! Carl is the worst.

I am going to start using a modified version of this pickup line to be even more specific and fit my specific needs; something along the lines of "Come with me if you aren't particularly hungry or attracted to my friend Carl over here. If you don't come with me I think I'm just going to go get a pizza with Carl. You know what, on second thought I don't want to have sex with you at all, and I don't like Carl very much, so I'm just going to order a pizza and take it home and eat it alone without you or Carl."

Thank you for the suggestion!

This is one of my favorites "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock."

I like your coat your wearing... It would look better on my bedroom floor. LOL

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