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Can a man ever be BFFs with a woman when he's married?

Can a man ever really be best friends when there is a partner in the picture... I think not. That's been my experience.

Image for post **Can a man //ever// be BFFs with a woman when he's married?**
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@2448133

Tell me when that's been your experience...

I've had a few really good friendships with men mostly at work...no sex...but the minute they are at an other job or you leave...you meet mebbe once in while...but that's about it...nothing...sorry...

And all what you said...Tons in common...like twin souls...even...still that all goes out the window...:(

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@2448137

Discretion and the grief of losing a friend that could only ever be temporary. It still rankles a bit...

I believe it's possible, but that depends if the partner is okay with that or not.

Sofias avatar Sofia Agree +5Reply
@Sofia I believe it's possible, but that depends if the partner is okay with that or not.

It takes a LOT and when the partner is okay with it...it still takes a lot... Of course it doesn't help if the individuals had something happen in the past...rumour got started that a coworker was buying me flowers...nothing to the rumour...still the friggin' wife still had to be told so that probably ruined my chances of ever being friends with him later...

Hey...Sofia.. I find myself easily confessing to you...do other ppl ever tell you that?

Scary...smile smilie

@Sofia Lol xD Not really.

I've thought that before and I've had to hold back before...

You could be my online therapist. I could use one from time to time...

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@2448146

It's still not that easy when someone is gay and they have a SO...but yes...there is a higher probablility...and more likely that you will end up being friends with both...

Ha. No. Not unless that woman is his SISTER...

Yes if they both know their boundaries.

Mashas avatar Masha Agree +3Reply

I think i would put it in a category which we can call not likely to happen , most of time our precious relationships , or whatever you name it , are governed by our insticts that we can trace it back to our hominid ancestors , guys seriously , it does not matter if we live in a modern or postmodern age where people naively believe relationships are fluid

YusiMurtis avatar YusiMurti Disagree +2Reply

Yes of course a man can be BFFs with a woman when he is married...
After all your wife can be both your wife AND BFF!
It's lucky as hell when that happens.

Also the man could be gay and married to another man.

And there are times when a woman is BFFs to a couple, both of them.

@Zolfie Yes of course a man can be BFFs with a woman when he is married... After all your wife can be both your wife AND...

I agree it's as lucky as hell when that happens...

Sure, I'm friends with a gay couple...but not with anyone who is straight and married. Even my brother-in-laws...I speak to my sisters and they pass the message on...

@Sukiesnow I agree it's as lucky as hell when that happens... Sure, I'm friends with a gay couple...but not with anyone who...

I know a couple of people that are still with their middle school sweet hearts and they're pretty happy and married etc etc. They're both best friends and husband and wife.

Also I know a guy that has a female BFF... and they go watch movies together every week or every other week. Of course, he's kinda strange and a SUPER NERD (not a bad thing, but he's follows all the Star Wars, Comic books and everything else, etc.) and they're been doing that for over a decade... both of them are married.

So are you saying, if you ever get a husband, that you won't allow him to have a BFF that is a female? punk smilie

@Zolfie I know a couple of people that are still with their middle school sweet hearts and they're pretty happy and married...

Hahaha... ..ever get a husband...lol

I would like it to be a friendship with the 3 of us...but I wouldn't mind if he/she got together with with someone for a coffee... for an hour or two...in fact...I'd say it was probably a good healthy idea...

Thanks for bringing it up...

People like to have the feeling that even though they've gotten "married" they still have access to their previous life...if it makes someone feel happy...why would I not want to encourage that? A marriage being about "Just Us Two" seems a bit dull...

So what about you? This works both ways, riight?

@Sukiesnow Hahaha... ..ever get a husband...lol I would like it to be a friendship with the 3 of us...but I wouldn't mind...

A friendship with the 3 of us, does sound nice. When you say, he/she, does that mean you're open to either sex? And I think you're right, it's probably a good healthy idea.

You're welcome smile smilie

What about me? Yeah this works both ways... so about me...
1) I'm never going to have a husband (they're just not for me)
2) If I ever have a wife, she is welcomed to having a BFF that is a female wink smilie

@Sukiesnow So...if I was your wife...you wouldn't welcome me to have a BFF that is male?

Just because I attempted to playfully avoid the question, doesn't mean the answer is bad or negative.

If I had a wife, she would be welcome to choose anyone as her BFF (male or female). And I would respect and welcome most people who are kind and respectful.

@Zolfie I know a couple of people that are still with their middle school sweet hearts and they're pretty happy and married...

Of course it might make a diff if "both of them are married..."

I didn't find it did..a friend of mine noticed a change once her divorce went through...

Zolfie: you seem to think... I dunno...people are innocent...and that's what I think, too...but other people don't...

@Sukiesnow Of course it might make a diff if "both of them are married..." I didn't find it did..a friend of mine noticed a...

Only thing that might change is trust... I guess some trust a married person more than a single person though.

No, I know people aren't innocent. People are guilty of lots of things... but people deserve the "benefit of the doubt", until something suspicious comes around to make you question things... and then cautiously trust but verify. Or at least that's how I currently see things.

@Sukiesnow Of course it might make a diff if "both of them are married..." I didn't find it did..a friend of mine noticed a...

Here's what i think and maybe it is just me. I think that a woman, married ir not, could be friends with a male, go out and do things, movie, dinner, etc, and not think twice about it. I think the male, in that situation, would be thinking about having a sexual relationship with that woman.

Theoretically yes, actually, no

@Cantstop Theoretically yes, actually, no

See below exchange... I need help!!! I don't think a couple can be friends with the opposite sex...yeas...they can together but not indivually...

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@2453533

You go out with these women for dinner?

@Sukiesnow You go out with these women for dinner?

So...you asked permission from your wife...she knew about it before the fact...

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@2453671

Somehow I don't know what you're sayin...

Been married for 40 years and have a couple women friends I'had since childhood.

@JustJimColo Been married for 40 years and have a couple women friends I'had since childhood.

You get together with these female friends individually for dinner once a month?

@JustJimColo No, maybe once a year. They aren't local.

Okay. I guess I could allow my partner to go out with a friend once a year when they are from out of town. Not much chance for an affair to develop.

LOL If there was a chance for an affair to develop, it wouldn't matter if it was an old friend or new one. Either you can trust each other, or you can't. BTW, I did kiss Susie once. We were 7 and neither of us were all that impressed. I have invited her to the house when she and her husband are in State and was at her Mothers funeral a few years ago. Real lifelong friendships (besides with your spouse) have nothing to do with sex.

@Sukiesnow Well, then...why did life-long friends stop communicating with me after they got married?

As we grow up, we usually grow apart from friends, as we go in different directions with our lives. It happens to all of us. Now and then there is a friend that we keep in our lives. Or that comes back in our lives. I have one male friend from Jr High I still keep in touch with, and he is coming to our house for Christmas dinner tomorrow.

Yes and people need to grow up about that

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@2459567

Being polyamourous It doesn't really apply. My world is vastly different from the norm and I'm ok with that.

@2459567

Ha...it would be an adjustment, that's for sure. Trust comes into play.

Why do people keep trying to pretend that gender is not important? The difference between boys and girls is the most important fact of life, after being sure the building is not on fire. If you show a puppy to a group of children, the first thing they want to know is whether its a boy puppy or a girl puppy. They don't know what the difference is, but they know it's important. By the time they are adults, they are not that smart any more. What happened?

No....unless hes a gay....every man has a penis that needs attention and that penis is controlled by his brain...which just wants to make the penis happy and doesn't care about the mans opinions.Not to mention that the penis owners wife would be upset

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