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You love your family but don't necessarily like them. You like your friends but don't necessarily love them... Who should you keep in your life?

Image for post **You love your family but don't necessarily like them. You like your friends but don't necessarily love them...** //Who should you keep in your life?//
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Sukiesnows avatar Relationships
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I'll keep them all in my life, unless they make life suck. In that case? Down the road.

@Sukiesnow Down the road. What does that mean, Jer?

It's a saying that essentially means "Out of my life." Out of the door, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out kind of thing.

@Sukiesnow Yes you.

What is cynical about keeping people out of my life that bring me down?

@Sukiesnow It's tough to explain... Leave them be but give them love.

Often, when somebody is a real screw up, the best love you can give is a good, swift kick in the ass.

@JerryHendrickson Often, when somebody is a real screw up, the best love you can give is a good, swift kick in the ass.

Not at all. What does that say about you?

The best love you can give someone is trying to understand them.

@Sukiesnow Not at all. What does that say about you? The best love you can give someone is trying to understand them.

You give someone chance after chance and they screw it up time after time? It's time to move on.

@Sukiesnow Not at all. What does that say about you? The best love you can give someone is trying to understand them.

My thieving, drug addicted nephew can go live with you then. He's worn out his welcome here: Stealing from me, lying, taking drugs in my house... F that.

@JerryHendrickson My thieving, drug addicted nephew can go live with you then. He's worn out his welcome here: Stealing from me...

Totally understand that... We have a neighbour here who does shenanigans like that of the like you can't comprehend. She has worn out her welcome with her family...they are only glad...truly glad...that she lives here...

So...now that she lives here...she bothers the rest of us and slowly it came to the point where she infuriates everyone in the building...ha. Even the ppl who think they are immune to that sort of stuff... The hoity-toits. Ha...

I'm expecting someone to knock on my door any moment...can I get right back to you?

Say anything you wish to...in the meantime...hon.

@JerryHendrickson Sure, no problem. Talk to you later.

Thank you.... Where was I?

So...my person has lived here for about 10 years. Now she is back and forth from assisted living...some form of rehab...to going back to here apt which is in my building...

Long story short. The first part was to show you what we've had to put up with. Taking up ones time any time of the day... Asking you to phone 911 anytime of the day or night when her phone wasn't working... Asking you for help to fix the phone when it wasn't working... Asking you to let you in the building when she's lost her keys...at all hours...even 3:00 am... And ALL OF THE ABOVE for about 5 years....more at sometimes...less at others...

Any feedback?

@Sukiesnow Thank you.... Where was I? So...my person has lived here for about 10 years. Now she is back and forth from...

Only that often, when you try to help people like that, they don't want the kind of help you're willing to give. They really just wish to use you to get what they WANT instead of what they really need. When you give in to them, you're enabling them to continue with their destructive lifestyles. That's what I've been talking about throughout this entire conversation and they'll take you down with them given the chance. They're selfish.

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@2456492

I've always loved my sister but there are times she drives me crazy...times when I honestly have said I can't stand her...:)

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@2456498

I used to feel that way about my brother-in-law... I guess I grew to love him.

Makes some social occasions a bit tense, huh?

I love and like some members of my family. And I love some of my friends - they are the closest ones to me in comparison to those I just like.

Sofias avatar Sofia Disagree +3Reply
@Sofia I love and like some members of my family. And I love some of my friends - they are the closest ones to me in...

Funny...no one really answered the question... Maybe it was to complex...like more than one issue in one post...

@Sukiesnow Funny...no one really answered the question... Maybe it was to complex...like more than one issue in one post...

I disagreed with your statement - and I'll keep the people I love in my life. Is that better?

Sofias avatar Sofia Disagree +2Reply
@Sukiesnow Ha. So the ppl you love have to be ppl you like as well?

I like every person I love - I don't love every person I like.

Sofias avatar Sofia Disagree +2Reply
@Sukiesnow I'm getting dizzy.

Lol, see it like this:

  • I meet one person
  • I like them after I know them better
  • Then the like develops to love.

Like is the "common feeling". Love is deeper. While I might like 20 people, of those twenty, I'll probably only love two.

Sofias avatar Sofia Disagree +1Reply
@Sofia Lol, see it like this: I meet one person I like them after I know them better Then the like develops to...

Good!

Curious...what's your timeline? How long does it take like to develop into love...if indeed it ever does? Some may stay at "Like" hmm...?

@Sukiesnow Good! Curious...what's your timeline? How long does it take like to develop into love...if indeed it ever does?...

There's no definitive timeline - this is not logical. It can take months with one person, and with other just some weeks. And like you said, it might never become love, and just stay like.

Sofias avatar Sofia Disagree +1Reply

As you grow up, you love your siblings. Sometimes, after you grow up, people change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. It's like the guy who was very close to his brother as a child but his brother took a wrong turn in life and became a criminal or a wife beater, or addicted to drugs. You may not like what they have become but you will still love them and will always remember what they once were..

Ok, as usual, the problem is people talking without knowing what they are saying. When somebody says "I love ice cream," we know exactly what they mean. But when they say "I love my family," their meaning is not so certain. Many people know they are supposed to love, but they have no clue about how to act the part.

As for friends, same problem only worse. When someone claims to be a friend, I check the path to the door.

I love my wife, three daughters, three sisters, and my in-laws. My parents passed away a few years ago. These people are "blood", and that's for life. I am loyal to my family. They have my back, as I have theirs.

I love a few friends as well, and would do a lot for any of them. After that, I know a lot of decent people.

I keep my family and as many dear friends as I can. Decent people are always welcome into my life as well.

Keep the ones you can trust and like 100%, they are real persons in my opinion.

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