I vote we rule out any plant that relies on birds, wasps, bees, butterflies, etc.. for pollination (Biotic). I think we can all agree that wasps and bees the size of a small buses would be a bad thing.
I'd have a chocolate tuxedo cheesecake tree.
I'm placing my order for a pizza tree now!
Don't ever plant a ficus (fig) tree. We have one. It's fifty feet tall and fifty feet wide and you can't have anything under it because everything gets covered with bird poop. They are crazy for those tiny figs. Then every 2 to 3 years you have to pay a crew to trim it so the trash truck can pick up the curby.
I want a hybrid tree. Beef and potatoes and seafood and BBQ tree.