HOW TO BE A ZONIE

Since so few Arizona residents were actually born in Arizona, there is some confusion about how to know when you can call yourself a Zonie. Here then are some examples that identify Zonies.

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HOW TO BE A ZONIE

Since so few Arizona residents were actually born in Arizona, there is some confusion about how to know you are a true Zonie. Here then are some examples that identify Zonies.

  • You know what "much grass" means.
  • You know the names of several Mexican beers, and which one is better than another. Even if you don't drink beer.
  • You know what a chimi is.
  • You can explain how to make sun tea, but you don't bother to drink the stuff any more.
  • You know what "tubing the salt" means, and that it is actually done on the verde, not the salt.
  • You don't know the governor's name, but you want to recall him.
  • You threaten to cut somebody's water off.
  • You know that the most important detail when buying land in the desert is flood insurance.
  • You have ever been flooded by a rainstorm twenty or more miles away.
  • You have ever bragged about your shade cactus.
  • You have ever sat in the yard to watch a storm blow in.
  • You have ever been shot at because your car got in front of another on a public street.

NOTE: there are some indications that are very common but do NOT indicate a true Zonie.

  • If you drive a car that is taller than you, you are just another yuppie.
  • If you live in a subdivision where weeping willows grow, you are just another jaded businessman/woman.
  • If you are accustomed to water being sprayed in your face at restaurants, you are just another bored dilletante.
  • If you know who the man on the state seal is, you are just another bookworm.

Well, yes, more than half the state population lives in Maricopa County.

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