> > ZEN TEACHING > > 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just leave me alone. > > 2. No one is listening until you pass gas. > > > 3. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. > > 4. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. > > 5. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments. > > 6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. > > 7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. > > 8. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. > > 9. If you lend someone 20 bucks and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. > > 10. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. > > 11. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree. > > 12. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... And most of that comes from bad judgment. > > > > 13. A closed mouth gathers no foot. > > 14. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one of them works. > > 15. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. > > 16. When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It's difficult only for others. It is the same when you are stupid. >