Sukiesnows avatar Jokes & Humour
Share
12 240

He had embezzled so much money from that town, it was time to cut and run.

Blizzard, comical, saturated

@Carla He had embezzled so much money from that town, it was time to cut and run. Blizzard, comical, saturated

After the blizzard the - gosh this is hard - the low area of the road became saturated with ice...which might have been comical if you were a stranger to the area...and end up in the ditch.

Words: expecting, big, open

She was expecting a big bonus, which left her open for disappointment.

Farmer, lactating, fundamental

@Carla No. Kind of easy. But fun:)

We are still ongoing with this post but we are up to 4 words. Stil easy. Go to the bottom of page if you are interested...:)

Four words are easy especially if you can use more than one sentence. I was thinking about 5 or 6 words. More of a challenge.

This user has been banned.
@2496499

Are you a fast walker, Marky?

After spending time donating tissue...it was a weird feeling to find out it was being donated for bat research....

Words: money, town, cut

The houses in california was glamorous but I couldn't afford the rent

Words: surf, dolphins, palm trees

OzSurfer would love to surf next to where the dolphins swim, and rest underneath the shady palm trees with his best gal enjoying a good warm meal.

Words: wolf, powerful, amazement

People are so diverse from one another and want to have a good life, they hope posses talents, talents they can develop in order to pursue a career and in return to have money so they can enjoy life. We are bread to make money so that we have the right to pursue happiness.

Words: life, expectations, time

Words: time, replace, love

At a time of sorrow...you have no inkling that eventually time will replace your love.

Words: car, yellow, trip

I'd never buy a yellow car, but I would rent one for a trip.

Words: Valentines Day, save, diamonds

The farmer knew the fundamental and proper way to milk the lactating cow.

Begging, Harvest, Avocado

The Avocado harvest was exceptionally lush; he was relieved that he wouldn't have the family go out begging yet this year...

Words: House, California, glamorous

To everyone's amazement, as a young lad winning many fights, Wolf achieved a reputation as physically powerful for his age.

Words: enjoy, talents, career

Life is full of expectations, and we have the time to fulfill all of them.

Words: offer, house, worried

The offer on this small, simple house looked too generous to be true, and the whole neighbourhood worried about seeing their village disfigured by a the ugly blocks of a dormitory town.

Words: example, wish, creative

Do you remember the giggles we shared as girls while camping? All the stories...and the awkward pauses...when we were using the Ouija board? It was a fun time...especially with the boy's camp across the road....

Words: back, stage, destination

@Sukiesnow Do you remember the giggles we shared as girls while camping? All the stories...and the awkward pauses...when we...

My favorite destination is being in the spotlight on state, where the crowd stops and watches my every move, as I move arch my back and sing to the world.

Words: adore, happiness, together

While you can save money on diamonds on Valentines Day...aren't they a bit of a cliché?

Words: rap, understood, life

He was extremely creative with his birthday wish, one example was so erotic that everyone listening was turned on, simple by listening to the idea.

Words: Kittens, String, Adorable

Two adorable kittens were playing with a string of wool.

Words: garden, visited, mysterious

After a fun day of surfing in the ocean....Lily scampered about looking for starfish...

Words: pensive, matters, France

While in France, Jeanie thought about pensive matters such as how she would of loved to see the Eiffel Tower with her mother, who sadly pasted away a decade ago.

Words: wilderness, explored, together

The elderly couple spent a great evening with their friends, sharing memories of their adventures in the wilderness, which they explored together twenty years ago.

Words: remember, awkward, giggles

After washing her clothes in the sink and drying them in the microwave, she decided that wasn't very practical.

wound, nasty, escape

I nonchalantly drifted down the sinister, yet welcoming streets...hands in my black overcoat; the Burberry I ripped off a bustling High Street kiosk....This magical coat also had several clever inner pockets; and the major two with clever holes in them; perfect for theft...those holes I could use adeptly...especially on a fortunate day in my bright city....

Words: sell, enjoy, tricked, hurt.

It was sheer pointlessness to deny, his once smooth complexion, lickable as a peeled peach, was now in a constant state of flux, pimples swelling, being expelled with dripping tweezers....steroids, you know.

Federal, atmospheric, absolute, astute, infiltrated

Mr Zonkey lost his donkey whilst performing CPR on his VW, resulting in permanent rudder damage to his lip sync abilities and turning his left arm into a brewskie!

God, Jesus, d r u g s, kitchen, angry

Two lovers visited the mysterious garden.

Words: Ocean, Starfish, Surfing

Who wouldn't adore to live in happiness, together with their beloved ones, in an ideal world?

Words: sparkling idea nature

The Desert Rose is a weird plant but has a pretty flower.

Image in content

Sorry ChuckTom I didn't see your reply above beat mine and I can't delete it now, so I'll just go off yours.

The Irish man hit his cheating brother-in-law with a shillelagh, producing a dermabrasion on his arm and manure in his underpants.

Words: fight, beer, pillows

It was fortunate that during the beer fight...they landed on pillows....

Words: 24/7, problem, step

The silly boy removed his scabs so he could showoff his scintillating red blood.

Words: jokers, impractical, funny

@Zolfie The silly boy removed his scabs so he could showoff his scintillating red blood. Words: jokers, impractical, funny

Two jokers were trying to take an impractical shortcut, with the not so funny result that their car got stuck in the mud.

After years of going on nothing but cheap cigarettes....Ned only only wished for his release within the embrace of a good woman....

New words: dollars, record, crash

With the foggy weather, water molecules were colliding together to form water droplets on the gutters; these droplets started dripping into my strawberry jam, ruining my meal.

Word: buffalo, slingshot, horns

At the dinner table, Aunt Millie told shortly about the saddening incident, and then turned to Joe: "Can you pass the butter? - Thank you." Then, there was a long uneasy silence, till somebody knocked at the door. Papa was startled: "What was that??" But Uncle Bob was already on his feet and went out to answer, came back some minutes later and announced: "They asked for a long-distance transport; I'm leaving soon and, this time, I'll be off for three days."
...

Words: watermelons, ready, unsteady

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2535340

Lol - must I change? I was referring to agronomy or gardens.
How about strawberries or would you prefer gherkins?

Actually, I was reminded of a very sad story:
YouTube video thumbnail

The request was "pass the biscuits ..." (instead of the butter); in Joe Dassin's version, it was bread.

https://play.google.com/music/p...=kp-songlyrics

This user has been banned.
@2539033

A challenge for a wordsmith....

While skydiving, Daniel peed in his panties as he cried "Whoa!"

Words: obnoxious, salad, roots

I was hurt, when you tricked me into enjoying myself - masturbating in front of the audience, while the host was trying to sell my sperm for a ridiculous price. That, I didn't enjoy...

Words: trout, milk, paintball, liquor

While fishing for trout, drinking an easy white russian (liquor and milk), the angler was hit with an ill aimed paintball.

Words. Practical, imaginary, speedboat, caterpillar

Elroy's superficiality was apparent, asking for leeway after feeding his neighbors dog venison till he popped, stating he suffered from glutteny by proxy.

Ferocious, compilation, fermented, caramel

It seemed to the eagles an abnormality, seeing the paraglider, clad in quicksilver, sailing above the forrested wilderness.

Faltering, telekinetic, foretold, decree

Federal agency, uncertain which one, had infiltrated the space station in such a clever way, that even the most astute eggheads were unable to offer any absolute solution to the problem caused by the atmospheric pressure dropping at an exponential rate.

Mining, plural, observatory, romping, zeppelin

Led Zeppelin was an amazing band...mining as they did for fans - that's plural - attention....whilst romping in the grass....from my observatory experience, anyway....

Mystery, concern, control, dive, igloo

I like to feed my pet cat Wolfenstein unusual meals to improve his immune system, such as a small child's pinky finger, the skeleton of a pterodactyl, served with three kilos of butter and sugar. My cat died last Tuesday.

Clive, nonsense, indignant, grater

"Sometimes I eat a pretzel," mused King Zaphod to his servant, "and sometimes I eat rotator cuffs. They increase my longevity." He then cut off his servant's shoulder and ate it greedily. The end.

Ugly, splash, nosy, twit

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581039

Ah yes that would have been perfect! Alas it is too late now D-:

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581531

Ok I shall!!! >:-D hahaha 😂

Once upon a time there was a little boy called Shot Spot. He would always hear his house call, "Covfefe!" But never understood what that meant, or why the house was calling out to him. Did inanimate objects have thoughts? He pondered, whilst looking at his chord, as toast popped out of him. It was a troubling thought. He then ingested a swollen ring and was electrocuted. The end.

Mountain, Grawp, tiring, flannelette pants

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581540

Haha no it's the name of a giant in a book. But it is open to interpretation lol
Yes Zonkey seems to be the sexual guru here :-P

Finding the difference between Sukiesnow and a lamppost turned out to be more difficult than John had anticipated - even after the famous skinny jeans test, the correct choice was far from obvious and so, he had to hit the streets with both of them, soliciting the living daylights out of the lamppost first.

Keyboard solo, Han Solo, lump of dump, kittyplucker

His penis approached her looking vaguely like a snapping turtle about to deactivate....then charging full steam ahead... She tried to sigh...but it came out as a lame pssst sound....oh well...so much for that....

Pull, traditional, enhanced, structure.

Here is an idea, you let nature keep most of it's fresh sparkling water and you keep the chemical toxins to yourself!

Words: shower, waterfall, wet

On a hot summer day, after hours of sweating, it is so refreshing to take a shower under a crystalline waterfall, even if your clothes get all wet.

Words: rainforest, wildlife, amazing

You can see amazing wildlife if you dare go into the rainforest, lions, tigers and bears, oh my!

Words: Canadian, Moose, Dragon wink smilie

@Zolfie You can see amazing wildlife if you dare go into the rainforest, lions, tigers and bears, oh my! Words: Canadian...

If you refer to South Asian rain forests, only few are left, and the only Asian sanctuary left for lions is Gir Forest National Park in India, and it is a dry, deciduous forest.

In Africa, with a few exceptions, lions live mostly in bush, savannah and grasslands and even in half deserts.

There is little left of the African rainforests:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tropical_Africa

The populations of the moose (Alces alces), the largest extant species of the deer family, the boreal and northernmost temperate forests, are declining, also in Canadian, US-American, Russian, Baltic and Skandinavian ranges and plains - but wait a second: they forgot about the dragon!

Which one do you prefer: Grisù or Elliott?

Image in content

Image in content

Words: desert, weird, flower

@Marianne The populations of the moose (Alces alces), the largest extant species of the deer family, the boreal and...

I don't know Grisù or Elliott that well, but Grisù looks like he's putting out fires instead of starting them like most dragons.... you got to like that smile smilie.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2505542

Lol - I don't see why, right after having had removed an ugly scar by dermabrasion, a smart Irishman would let his drinking lad cane him with a shillelagh on this very spot and then let him put manure on his sore skin - unless both were totally drunk.

hehe smilie

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2510037

This little place looks nice - of course
but why is there no Irish horse?

Image in content

My problem is that I step on the gas petal too hard, no matter the time or day, 24/7, all the time... I have a little need for speed in me.

Words: hungry, spanking, jet-ski

The record performance of the new crash test simulator saved the car building engineers and their customers lots of dollars ...

New words: jam, foggy, dripping

This user has been banned.
@2510526

DW2...we are still working on this game...we are at 4 words now. In case you're interested.

The harmony of the idyllic garden party was totally wretched by some drunk, bling jetsetters, driving their golf carts into the celebrating groups of seated and dancing guests, wreaking havoc on a major event to which Ivanka was invited ...

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2513729

My bad, I forgot the words - lol. smile smilie

Four other passengers, trying to stop the two opponents, took several blows, fought back, and others joined the brawl - a moving cluster of kicking arms, heads and legs, spilling through the open doors - till two police cars and an ambulance were careening around the nearby road bend with howling sirens.

Words: hospital, plaster, limping

@Marianne Four other passengers, trying to stop the two opponents, took several blows, fought back, and others joined the...

It was one of the worst nights of my life...the night I after the accident where I went limping into the hospital. They eventually gave me a plaster cast...to make my evening complete...

Words: menu, burger, bacon

It was a stormy night in Kevin Bacon's kitchen. He had tried clicking on "burger" from the chef's new electronic menu, but had only managed to orger a whole cow. Obviously, it was time to start sharpening the cleaver.

Words: pummel, hooter, cheese

"Quit yanking my nuts, you slobbering idiot!", shouted Balls McGee and hit the horny armadillo in the head with his mighty hammer.

Words: sword, sizzle, shuffle

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2531492

At the factory nearby, the hooter announced the beginning of the work day, and a crowd of workers was streaming through the open doors. Nearby, two youngsters stopped to pummel a recalcitrant vending machine, as in spite of all their efforts, neither the cheese sandwich nor the coins were released.

Words: honey, rainy, escape

@2531492

Oops - a silly accident. My initial reaction to your hilarious sentence went lost, and instead, my sentence came out twice. I only remember that I wanted to say something about Zorro and poor little armadillo, and crashed - lol.

Instead, I am sending a picture.

No kicking, no throwing, no tossing! This is not a ball!
Image in content

This comment was deleted by its author.

The municipality had their historical clock "pendulum-regulated" by a renowned Swiss expert, mathematician, watchmaker and music instrument builder, who had also made the Mayor's zither, some years ago.

Words: musician, wrong, roaming

The dress looked really exceptional, but, somehow, ridiculous with its 78 golden buttons, meant to enhance the rich embroidery designs.

Words: saddle, skedaddle, paddle

First off, thank you for making me to look up something completely new. Skedaddle was an unknown word for me. Then again, weirdish derivates usually are.

Staying in the saddle wasn't a problem for Brian, as he was both a rodeo clown and a porn star, but when he was hit in the bottom with a paddle, he thought about moving to Bulgaria, where his hidden talents as a lamb whisperer would come handy and without any further ado, he decided to skedaddle and leave the scene, before the mistress (Betty-Brittany Owlwrangler) had another chance to mistreat him.

Words: parallax, monkey, uptight

The teenage singer was not so keen on calculating the angular amount of parallax and opted instead for a zoological course in primatology, involving the observation of wildlife with a small group of students, under the guidance of a wildlife expert and a ranger, in a natural reserve. After a sweaty walk, they arrived at the observation site, "welcomed" by a woolly monkey, standing upright, next to bushes surrounding a tall rainforest tree.

Words: hullabaloo, climb, fluffy

@Marianne The teenage singer was not so keen on calculating the angular amount of parallax and opted instead for a zoological...

"Your feathers are so fluffy and sexy", said the kangaroo to the opium boosted chicken called Ralph, while trying to climb a pine, which was obviously too much of a task for such a weirdly designed creature. "Such a hullabaloo over my feathers, why don't you go and boil your head?" answered Ralph, wearing five different kinds of poopy hats at the same time. The kangaroo thought about it and decided to obey.

Words: pork-chops, mortar, leeway

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2537137

Lol - a Dr. is also a solution. hehe smiliehehe smiliehehe smilie

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2537139

Well, you wrote Dr. Lee Way (for leeway).
Personally, I found it brilliant.

smile smiliehehe smiliehehe smilie

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2537317

You're very welcome. smile smilie

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2537149

Dzängggg, said the electric guitar (that should cover the third word) and caused Paul Heimlich to bend over, as his hemorrhoids had just jumped up to his throat, causing him to feel that lovely, cozy feeling of suffocation. His mother kicked him in the balls, causing Paul to inhale sharply. Suddenly, the hemorrhoids were back in their original place and Coddy Nobel won his own peace prize for saving the day with a jazz band.

Words: phonology, darkness, laughtrack

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2537154

It's a fairy tale.

@2537154

An excellent idea - lol.
y smiliesmile smilie

@ZonkeyBalls What?!!!

Lol - think of "callipygous" and a thick cushion (it works also for riders thrown off their horse or zonkey).

Oh, and you would have to use two purely fictional characters.

Just kidding! hehe smiliehehe smiliehehe smilie

And this is not a joke.
I was once hit by a car (as a pedestrian on a pedestrians' crossing), and I landed about 10 m further, on my "sit-upon". Luckily, I got away with two nasty bruises. Useless to say that for two weeks, I could not sit.

I hope that I have not been too indecent.

@ZonkeyBalls That's worse than having really horrible anal sex.

omg smiliehmm smilie

I am shattered - they reminded lately of widespread child abuse in orphanages, educational, reeducational, religious and other institutions, foster families or real families, prisons, etc., along with child trafficking and porn.

Sorry, Zonkey, that is not funny, and I would not want to mock people who have been abused. Many practices, formerly considered as "normal", are known, today, to be abusive and harmful.

My apologies, if you consider my "idea" as offensive.
No, I was not referring to sex, but rather to take precautions in case of accidents ...

@Marianne Well, wasn't it the picture?

No. Never saw that coming.

Must have had too much of Epic Sax Guy in my system (see Sukie's Youtube thread).

@2537149

Oops - but that could degenerate into cannibalism.

Image in content
hehe smilie hehe smilie

This time, the leader of the bullies did not get away with a simple warning; his teacher gave him a serious scolding in public, in front of all his friends and his dismayed parents.

Words: harvest, glean, ripe

@Sukiesnow Whose words did you pick up...Marianne?

I don't know, Sukiesnow, I was just trying to make a sentence with the given words and to "spin" a story with what came first to my mind. All I do is to check certain terms in English for being correct and/or not offensive (because of the "false friends" and certain "traps", as we must walk on eggshells). And as I have always been a bookworm, and, maybe, inspired by news, stories and reports, I can't even say if I am repeating or inventing something. smile smilie

The hookers were ripe to be harvested, thought Gerry Glean, sharpening his knife. Too bad, he was in a bad shape, as he didn't have a head anymore. He had lost it in a poker game two weeks earlier and now he wasn't enjoying his life anymore.

Words: petty, Honda, literature

At night they found a baobab tree with surrounding vegetation....they were happy...altho might be happier if it was pouring rain. Several members were getting restless.

Neglect, structure, lucky, enjoy, people.

Although the producers at the gardening fair were prioritizing locally grown bulb plants, a small company displayed several exotic flowering species in pots, alternating with some colourful Thai sculpures and a Chinese clay whistle, on a long wooden table. The non lint cloth on the table was printed with Hindu celebration pictures.

Words: fortunate, aims, drift, bustling

Richard had never learned the difference between practical jokes and bad choices, partly because his imaginary friend (Sergei Makarov) gave him some really awful advice on a regular basis - like filling the neighbor's speedboat with caterpillar poo.

Words: glutteny, proxy, leeway, superficiality

After eating twelve kilograms of caramel ice cream in one sitting, Brigitte started to decompose, leaving behind nothing more than a compilation of fermented biomatter, which was soon eaten by a flock of ferocious carrion eaters.

W: paraglider, abnormality, quicksilver, wilderness

Five now???
Hmmmmm....

The old mafia fellow choked on a humongous wad of phlegm while trying to explain to his nephew, who found the conversation odd, about the longetivity of the vienna philharmonic wind orchresta

Progam, flirtacious, paranoia, catastrophe, abdominal

Abdominal pains can cause paranoia in android hypochondriacs, who have a constant loop in their program, as they are conflicted by their flirtacious nature and their tendency to press the panic button at the slightest hint of an upcoming catastrophe.

Flux, pointlessness, tweezers, lickable, pimples

The three engineers were perhaps worlds apart, but they shared the same passion: flying and planes; they exchanged their muddy boots against slippers and tongs waiting for them in the hall, came in and settled at a table next to the chimney fire.

Words: propeller, timing, bright, soar

The propeller's whirl softened as the bright red helicopter soared elegantly...timing it's ascent along with the eagle flying next to it.

Words: birthday, win, meal, drugs

For my next birthday I hope to eat a nice meal, take some drugs, and win the lottery.

Words: dirty, gluteus maximus saliva, tuna

My laughter was slippery with dandruff as I lay on my toilet seat. It was delicious.

Facade, confused, pimples, potatoes

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2579318

Hahaha
I head the same

@LiVi Hahaha I head the same

I mean HEAR not head D-:

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2580238

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@LiVi Hahaha I head the same

I see you have a head. Thanks for the heads up there.

@ZonkeyBalls I see you have a head. Thanks for the heads up there.

Hahaha 😂😱 yes I noted card you have one also!

Rasputin was found romping the rompers with a tattooed lady named 'Toe Jam'. It was quite frightening to behold.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2580325

Hahaha you nailed it!

Beatrice's eyebrows - I love it!! 😂

Australia is just a magic trick, intended to confuse old people, who are already quite confused by the bathroom routine, sticking their olde, lumpy rumps in sticky places, where their silly "Help me!" shouts echo like an occasional gargle of a drunken rabbit in a dishwasher rodeo.

I challenge thee with dem: pineapple, fuckable, fish, delicious

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2580363

Daddy, that is a real person and not a helicopter ghosty whisperer? I'm scared.

"This dialogue is getting more and more contagious", said Arnold Schwarzenegger with his silly accent and deformed callipygian bulges mouthing an inverse fart, almost as if his epicaricacy towards Helen Mirren, who had had her left front paw stuck for hours already, wasn't disturbing enough.

Lycanthropy, escalator, transporting, cuckoo

@ZonkeyBalls "This dialogue is getting more and more contagious", said Arnold Schwarzenegger with his silly accent and deformed...

The escalator in the Federal building of Lycanthropy was haunted by the ghostly head of a cuckoo, who was half eaten by a hungry werewolf in 1849 whilst transporting a bowl of onions to the ministry of monsters.

Rarely, feathery, systematic, bones

@ZonkeyBalls "This dialogue is getting more and more contagious", said Arnold Schwarzenegger with his silly accent and deformed...

A young student, transporting a box with several paperback books, a heavy dictionary, a magazine about lycanthrophy and a cuckoo clock, was shuffling toward the escalator.

Words: moss, rolling, slope, rocky

I'm confused. For the very first time in my life.

So, now I'm stuck with twelve words... Four from LiVi and four from John... Marianne had some as well...

Bones wasn't very systematic, although he rarely was feathery either, when examining Kirk's rocky slopes for rolling moss in a minivan, where Nuns with Animal Lust for Farts (the rock band, stupid) practiced for the upcoming gig.

Borg, pork, dork, Picard, pissard, drunkard, akward bastard, poindexter, lucious Lulu...

"Slurpiest Slurp in the History of Slurpety Slurping!" Exclaimed the commercial written by asinine pigtails in your thought-free cubicle, located at the Ass Wipe factory's third sub-basement.

Gorgeous, Gigantism, Greek, Gonads

The gorgeous Greek Geronimo Galgitraz Greco got engaged to his gonads in a graceful and gregarious ceremony of gigantism and genitalia.

Help, fiend, Meredith, bombarded

A Buddhist monk, wrapped in a saffron coloured sarong, was helping to pick up the more or less charred pieces of Barbie and Ken furniture, damaged by an unfortunate fire in a toy shop, when, suddenly, the "dong" of a gong resonated.

Words: naughty, sideslip, sermon, robe

Feeling nosy, once again, Fred - the horny anteater - decided to splash some cold water to his burning crotch, which had caught fire in a scientific experiment involving a twit scientist and an ugly, regular twit from the nearest street corner (five hundred miles away).

Hologram, pump, Liechtenstein, marrow

It was a dark and stormy night in Daylight City's gayest district, 441 to be precise, and the age of consent was no longer forty-two, but the amount of seconds that kicking and screaming would indicate - for example seven seconds of kicking plus four of screaming totaled eleven dog years or 72 zonkey centuries.

Ben Johnson, doorbell joke, condoms, "doooooooooo-pinggg!"

Chuck found her flannelette pants rather tiring, as they didn't drop at his command - even Grawp had had a go with his army of tiny mutant monkey elephants and nothing had happened, unless you count the sudden loss of Zorro's crap mountain something.

Prolonged, lurking, bonkers, phlegm catapult

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581778

Nope... "picked beets", not "pickled". I was wondering about that, while writing my silly manual for robot sex labour issues.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581789

Mum waz correkt, mun. Me daddy from Wisconsin, haz one eye and four left ears. All in plastic containers.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581791

That's a fake tit. That's actually an eagle.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581802

Your beak is shaped like a Turkish prison.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581910

I merely tipped the authorities. They were making fun of my tipper-lorry. Sleep with the dishes, suckers... Hasta la Windows Vista, baby.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581924

My birthday has been very happy, daddy, daddy!

I got my desktop computer online, finally. The silly wireless network realized, that birthday boy had an axe to grind against the fucking router... Also, for my laptop, a real, live, wireless mouse! Squeaky thing means less profanity and more productivity. Also, accidental down votes will become a legend from the past.

X-mas is cancelled this year. I haven't had it yet.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581956

Well, I cannot say yet. Honestly, I am half-way ready with the packaging, at least half of my fingers are still attached. That kind of finger-severing packaging technology begs the question: "Why isn't there enough room in Hell for the people, who design those plastic monsters?" They had even decided to put the receiving unit in a plastic compartment of its own - as if the main plastic thingy wasn't difficult enough. I haven't even taken a proper look at the battery (AAA sized, made by a company I have never heard of)...

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581969

The bloody mouse is now my slave! SLAVE! It tried to bite me with the horrendous, foul breath coming out of its orifices, some of which are yet to be discovered by the mainstream scientists, but I prevailed. And the mouse says: "Made in Netherlands" in its shivering, pulsating bottom!

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2581978

Oy! It's me birthday, pa. Stop yanking me anus and cut some slack, will ya?

"My birth name was Screaming Lord Sutch", said Barry the Bastard quietly, scratching his underbelly with a can of freshly picked beets, but his itchy nuts were still itching with a horrifying batch of nits crawling all over the bushy grotch area.

Troll, boiling point, hiss, plotter

The Troll was reaching his boiling point, and with an angry hiss, he jumped from his rock and pursued the fleeing plotter (not the computer printer).

I am nothing, but a shoeshine boy (chorus: lalalala), but I know a buffoon, when I see one (chorus), I'm not a stupid toy, who eats during Ramadan, no madam, the daylight hours are here soon, so Scat! (chorus: lalalala... maaaaaaaaan!)

Torch, wood, Spitfire, Clarkson

After hearing Jeremy Clarkson, who referred to the great numbers of crashed Spitfire and other aircrafts during WW2, young Zebulon sneaked out, armed with a torch and walked into the wood.

Words: hedgehog, hair splitting, piled, dressing

"Gotta love hedgehog dressing on your salad of piled hair splitting." (The new slogan for HogDress)

Plant, stump, mixed feelings, orangutan

Singh Shampooman, the famous Indian film critic, had suffered from the vrooooooooom type of flatulence for two weeks now and his stomach was a mess, both inside and outside, as he prepared himself to announce the winner of 2020 Bollywood Award for the Most Dimwitted Picture of the Year.

Hooters, scooters, looters, pooters

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2582603

Excuse me
Are you naming me a hooter??!! 😱 hahaha

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2585020

She was the getaway van driver.

"There is no letter in marmalade", I complained, after inspecting the whole container for any incoming notifications from your former love interest, only to see that my hands were now both slick and yummy, with bits of happiness between my fingers...

Bronze, halitosis, photogenic, lumberjack

The problem with handling a handlebar mustache became apparent to Stallion Snow the day after the penis reduction surgery had been botched by an incompetent German doctor, who had shouted "blitzkrieg!" through most of the operation and mocking Hitler, as now Snow's genital hair was pointing upwards on both sides, making his whole crotch area to imitate Rollie Fingers with 98 percent accuracy.

Clouds, statue, railroad, surge protectors

Phil Collins was having a great day, singing "su su su sudio" to a bewildered audience consisting of a groundhog and Bill Murray, but his love for chasing free-running, wild dill pickles caused him to strain himself to the point, where both his frilly pink dress and his right leg couldn't take it anymore - he might be a snappy dresser, but a hamstrung Phil Collins isn't that much fun to be around with, especially with an extra hole in his ass.

Ukulele, hurricane, Eric Cantona, jugular vein

Willy the Hermit had flashed his willy to a hermit, but also dropped a flash drive, containing certain pictures of an unnamed donkey having pebbles inserted to her anus, which made him very anxious and aware of the hole in his front left trouser pocket.

Barry the Bastard, prune juice, ladder, adder

Finding Jeremiah Glassassharasser hadn't been a problem, as Mort "The Magic Nostril" Pugstiffer had been spectacular and tracked the comatose toast merchant in just five years - give or take a decade - using nothing else, but his human sensing toes, for his bravura performance.

Hyacinth, breathtakingly bald, blow valve, sleuth

"Doctor Who?" asked the annoyed man, drawing ellipses on a stolen napkin - please stop that, you are now annoying me and I'm the bloody writer here - apparently bemused by the idea of a phone booth being bigger inside.

Pollution, drooling competition, heavenly, horticultural society

Fatty McGee wasn't drunk as a skunk, but his pet skunk was 1.618034 times over the legal stinking limit, poking fun at elderly women's flabby breasts with remarks like: "May I take your bag, ma'am?"

Philanthropy, entropy, milling machine, FIAT

Corpulent McDiddly was a ghost hunter with 2.618034 times the mass of Urectum, always ready to stick fiddlesticks in his ears, in case some disturbed hotel monkey were to utter the stupidest words known to the mice and men: "May I check your bags, sir?"

Permanent rudder damage, lip sync, brewskie, VW

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2585026

You don't need to reinvent the wheel, when you already have a levitating wheelbarrow over here. Duplicate threads are weird, confusing, probably poisonous and hallucinogenic as well.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2585032

Maybe we should crash in with the proper force of maximum overkill?

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2585037

Yes. You poke LiVi and try not to electrocute her more than needed.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2506355

Koala Lumpur or the koala gardens of Kuala Lumpur?
hehe smiliehehe smilie

This user has been banned.
@2509936

Lol - thank you, DW. smile smilie hehe smilie

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2510026

Lol - hehe smilie hehe smilie !

I don't think that a koala would be happy in an appartment, but Kuala Lumpur has some nice parks and gardens - you'd rather pick out one yourself - with the appropriate eucalyptus trees:
hehe smiliehehe smilie

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L..._Malaysia(hehe)

Don Salvatore could not forget about his absurd dream, in which Cocaine, his parrot, squawked "Catania, Catania, Catania", imitating his flirtatious son, and revealing the name of his boat, which was ready to set off with a hidden load of stolen diamonds, to a crowd of grinning police officers.

Words: naive, inspector, appearing

After having badly excoriated the mortified waitress, the furious guest threw the thick beeswax candle of his table decoration against a waiter, who was balancing a heavily loaded meal tray nearby, causing this young fellow to tumble with a deafening metallic clatter.

Words: fruit, juicy, rolling

Reckless overexploitation, pollution, industrial runoff and aquarium traders, at the "stratosphere" of their ambitions - caused, besides the many natural threats, a significant decline of the numbers of leafy seadragons, which had to be totally protected.

Words: dessert, desertic, monolith

With the bunch of baloney "produced" by two nagging passengers sitting right behind him, the bus driver grew increasingly annoyed, while droving downhill, as the road was too steep and too narrow to step on the gas; instead he stopped abruptly.

Words: weather, blowing, loud

At the St. Eustache Hospital, Sophie wondered why on earth a Fallopian tube pain should be examined by an otorhinolaryngologist, but the nurse told her that her sister had, after the gynaecological examination, undergone a hearing test, and that the advertisement for a "therapist" using the energy or ectoplasm released by a medium was only a hoax.

Words: honey, rainy, escape

@ZonkeyBalls Deja vu... Or something.

Oops, really? It is pure fiction. Don't tell me that my comment gave you a weird dream or a nightmare ...
hehe smiliehehe smilie

@Marianne Oops, really? It is pure fiction. Don't tell me that my comment gave you a weird dream or a nightmare ...

You did double up with using the same suggestion twice. Two different entries, but the next words were the same. Or am I have an LSD flashback once again...

@ZonkeyBalls You did double up with using the same suggestion twice. Two different entries, but the next words were the same. Or...

Oh, I see now; I got into a mess, i.e. I entered my post, the text with my three words and then, wanted to comment on the previous entry; instead of the comment, the post was repeated - I don't know how, as I was tinkering around and crashed - lol. And it was too late to rectify (and I forgot what I wanted to say). hehe smiliehehe smilie

Sukie ordered the full-length album at her favourite shop, but when she was informed that the original series was all sold out, she gave a grimace of disappointment and cancelled the purchase.

Words: excerpt, resumed, awkward

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2537146

You are merely HIV positive, John.

@2537146

I noted great efforts on both sides ... and the humour is of first quality!

Congratulations!

y smiliesmile smilie - and for the laughs: hehe smiliehehe smiliehehe smilie

The award winning POTD (picture/photo of the day?) was a black and white photography, showing a juggling buffoon balancing on a slackline, in front of a group of children, applauding and admiring the artist, some looking at him with awe and a little pinch of envy.

Words: electricity, charged, downpour

As I was enjoying driving my new Honda home... I pondered on the literature of today...and it's seeming pettiness....

Words: scantily, dimwit, enjoy

The scantily growing vegetation reminded the little group of hikers that the way to the next water point was still long, and that only a dimwit would enjoy walking further under the burning sun. They settled in the shade of a strange rock formation for a good rest and decided to continue during the night.

Words: baobab, pouring, restless

I never neglect my duties, such as checking out the lucky people, who enjoy the new social structure of our wonderful ant colony. All hail the King!

Prioritizing, bulb, hindu, lint, whistle

Phil felt his hopes faltering, as the psychic had foretold him three days earlier, that his scientific experiments of telekinetic divorcing would end up catastrophically and leave him without the decree, which was apparently happening right at the very moment.

Mafia, humongous, longetivity, philharmonics, phlegm

While spooning up his alphabet soup hastily, Dr. J. Alfred Prufrock read the latest consumer test results about unusually high nicotine contents of tomatoes and peppers, sampled from a litigious batch, which had become the subject of a rather "putrid" commercial dispute.

Words: mystery, dawn, stroll, serene

After their great time at the rodeo, the children came home at supper time with balloons, marbles and some weird buttons, all excited about their adventures - which included a short, but intensive pillow fight.

Words: flippant, traveller, parody, anticipate

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2579596

The poor, paper-less, pathetic pauper decided to make paper out of his own pungent pooper, claiming to his audience that it was not popper paper, it was only pooper paper. He was unable to pronounce the letter 'R'.

Fishy, scheming, pigs, forklift

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2580249

Hahahaha oh dear 😂 That's good!

Is hi! H I V ?
And what is the last word??

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2580262

Hahaha glad you liked it. Yes this game seems to be bringing out the inner nutcase in me and sharing plenty of nuts 😂

Oh! I'm good, how are you??

Hi! I'm LiVi! And when I'm not taking a leak in a garbage bin, or dancing in my dirty nappies in my grandma's cupboard, I enjoy watching p o r n ! I also enjoy long walks to the fridge and romantic dinners at subway.

Scabby, mauve, moustache, Beatrice

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2580326

Hehehe 😂 Why thank you!!

Amazed and out of words, here I am, sitting at the table and chewing a slice of delicious pineapple - ouch, this vocabulary is a bit slippery, as I am left with a tasty fish for two, tonight, and an unavowable, "f***able" hour.

Words: contagious, dialogue, callipygian bulges, epicaricacy
shh smiliehehe smiliehehe smilie

Simon had something naughty under his robe, but now wasn't the time to get distracted by the aerodynamic properties of his massively endowed sideslip - he was ready to begin the sermon, after all.

W: Wolfenstein, pinky, butter, skeleton

"You are not Clive Morningstar, the third!" shouted the indignant beard or maybe there actually was a mouth somewhere behind the bushy form of nonsense art, that mostly looked like a hedge after losing a fight against a grater in some bizarre, Japanese kitchen show.

Pretzel, Zaphod, longetivity, rotator

The latest computer hit game from Finland had finally hit the shelves - Angry Jesus on d r u g s - and even God herself was playing it in Hell's kitchen, while Lucifer was out, running some errands.

Aussie rules footy, lithium, violence, LiVi, poopy umbrella

This comment was deleted by its author.
@2580559

It's a Cylon conspiracy.

Commenting on this post is closed.