P.S. This question does not pertain to me yet, it is for my best friend.
That's a tough question. It has happened to two of my nieces. And they are still struggling with what to do.
It really is a tough question. My brother went through it. On his third marriage the kids were all past 18 but one and it took a while for her to warm up to my sister in law. Sadly my ex sister in law didn't help much by interfering and making my new sister in law look like a bad person at the time.
I know my best friends wife does her best not say what she thinks about her ex's dates but a time or two she has slipped. I usually have the big mouth and agree with his son. He is really the one I am mostly concerned about because it upsets him to see his dad used all the time. My best friend has a heart of gold and would give the shirt off his back if he thought someone needed it more than him.
I hope I'm never in that situation. I'm sure my sons wouldn't approve of any guy!!!! lol
I pray you never have to either. My girls are the ones that are hard to get approval from lol. My son is pretty laid back but they better be ready to listen to him discuss Pokemon or the deal is off in his eyes
It might take time. I think in the beginning is to not make the nature of the relationship so obvious until a bond has formed. Treat each other like colleagues in front of the kids until the kids accept and like the new face. Then fall in love slowly; as opposed to sleep overs before the kids even know the new partner.
Also a wise wooer will include the kids on dates early in the relationship. Day trips to museums, parks and movies for the whole family in between the more romantic nighttime dates with the new lover. This way the kids can observe the partnership relationship between the couple and not just the perceived advances toward the parent.
Oh I think that is a wonderful idea and I most certainly am passing that on. The girl that cleaned out his bank account. He let her move in two days after knowing her. Smh
if my child or children didnt feel comfortable with my significant other.... well my children would always come first
Good points. His son is 15 going on 16 but he is a rather smart cookie. I think part comes in to play that he didn't expect his parents to get divorced. They had been married 14 years before his mama filed and moved out. He wants his dad to be happy with the right girl but sadly his dad sure can't pick em.
My best friend does not pick the best girls in the world to date. His last girlfriend which even I didn't like. He felt she was just out for his dad's money. I felt that way to but you can't tell someone who to love. Well she cleaned out his bank account then left him high and dry.
I hope he does too one day.
I think it would depend why, and how much they didn't like each other. Also did the dislike go both ways? Basically need more details and more open minded calm and caring talking.
I ain't sure if she disliked him or not. He seen her as a money hungry gold digger and what is funny is she was cause she cleaned out his dad's account.
So the child, saw her for what she was?
That should put some faith in the child for the next time he gets a bad feeling about someone.
The child is a 15 year old boy but his dad acts like a little girl sometimes
Have a sit down and talked to them about it...not much more you can do until the dating became more intimate
Kids aren't stupid. They can make people run all on their own.
And when that happens. Trust your children.
You have no idea how true that is but his son was right on this one. She was a gold digger.
With me if someone survives family dinner and still comes back they are a keeper
Funny story. When I was a kid. There was one particular douche bag who was dating my mom. This particular sleaze of an individual took us to one of the fanciest restaurants in all of Santa Barbara. He said we could order anything we wanted as long as we finished all of it. I was 13 my brother 9. We looked at the menu and agreed. We both ordered the prime rib and lobster. We both cleaned our plates and then asked what was for desert. Ate the most expensive desert on the menu. Could tell the guy was already sweating. When my nine year old brother asked if they had a "to go" menu it was really fun watching him squirm. Mom caught on quick enough and asked for another glass of wine "so the kids could finish their desert". :)
The thing is eventually mom did meet a guy who was worth a shit. I ended up calling him My father. One seriously great human being. They are out there.
I am happy that she was able to do so.
Yes yes they are
Oh that was great story. Thanks for sharing.
I could see my oldest and youngest doing that
Trust your kids. :)
Oh I do :)
I always say were are a package deal. They have to be won over too