Have you come to grips with your reality and how much you impact your immediate environment? I'm sorry, but I'm still coming to grips with the death of my ex-boyfriend and how young he was...and that happened last September...

I can't wait until I start feeling like myself again. And it's difficult for the people around me...I don't want to share it with them...and if I do...what is there to say? Really. "Get over it. By now." I thought I'd be though all the stages by now...I can't believe how poorly I've been functioning...:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

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I can totally relate to what your saying and I really can empathise and I'm sorry you are going through this. I know what you mean about not being able to share your situation in real life with those around you.

People ask, how are you today, and you are supposed to say, i'm good thanks, how are you? If you do try and talk more about it they say, get over it and enjoy your exciting new life. They aren't talking from experience though so mostly I find sharing isn't helpful.

I lost my partner 5 years ago to breast cancer, but what I didn't realise was that I also lost all my support mechanisms too, that I had at the time, like all our friends and neighbours. I realised they were friends with us as a couple and that ended once we were no longer a couple. I find talking online has helped a bit because you can talk to people online that you'd never get the opportunity to talk to in real life.

@OzSurfer I can totally relate to what your saying and I really can empathise and I'm sorry you are going through this. I...

Death is a horrible experience... Death is death. You know there will never be the individual reality back ever again. It's horrible and I could kill death.

@Sukiesnow Death is a horrible experience... Death is death. You know there will never be the individual reality back ever...

I understand what you mean. Even for those that believe in an afterlife, it doesn't sound that great either. I mean, all the people who annoy me the most assure me they'll be there, so how can I look forward to an eternity with them? I just hope it's a big place if it exists. Personally, I hope it's like sleeping. I enjoy that plus I don't know anything when I'm asleep which suits me, and nobody expects me to do anything I'm not capable of either, so that's sounding ok so far. And it's not like I'll have a partner, or kids or family or friends that'll be upset that I don't wake up. It's just the dying bit that might not be fun. I see my older relatives who never looked after their health and they are like prisoners of their bodies. I hope I go out surfing a tsunami or something.

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@2525391

Thank you .... I''ve had 3 deaths this past 2016.... I spent an hour weeping the other day.. Some of it feels like self-pity and I mentally chastise my self about it.

It helps to hear your voice, and it let's me know I'm not being silly about it.

Death may be a reality but that doesn't mean we ever get over a loss, or even that we should. We all react to death in different ways because we are all different.

@JustJimColo Death may be a reality but that doesn't mean we ever get over a loss, or even that we should. We all react to...

Thank you .... I''ve had 3 deaths this past 2016.... I spent an hour weeping the other day.. Some of it feels like self-pity and I mentally chastise my self about it....

It makes me touch base with reality around it.....

@Sukiesnow Thank you .... I''ve had 3 deaths this past 2016.... I spent an hour weeping the other day.. Some of it feels like...

It's not self pity when someone has a hard time with a loss. Sometimes it take weeks to deal with, sometimes it takes years. Many people feel that loss their entire life. There are no right or wrong time lines. Even when you "move on", you still feel it.

@Sukiesnow Thank you. I needed to hear that.... I haven't been myself for a while now....

I'd be more concerned about someone if they "didn't" have a rough time dealing with grief.

@JustJimColo I'd be more concerned about someone if they "didn't" have a rough time dealing with grief.

There are so many facets to the grieving process...especially with a view to being online.

Some ppl don't express it...and/or don't know how to express it... I asked my friend out West... Well: how did you feel when Boots (her mom) passed away? She said: I don't think I really knew...

It is also always tough to know what to do around a person who is grieving....but being online makes it easier....

@Sukiesnow Thank you Barb! Even kind words can make my eyes start to water....:)

It does get better. I know they say, time heals all wounds, however it still leaves a scar. You take care of you.

@Sukiesnow How is your lovely dog? The one you trained so much but you wish you didn't?

My new guy Tyson is doing well. He is not always a model citizen. We have had a bit of chewing complaints. The litte nipper is not the brightest when it comes to heart to heart talks about this issue, he shimmies at you with the tail wagging. It's hard to continue with a streight face. If you have the time look him up online. He's a Rhodesian Ridgeback, Boxer mix. He is very handsome and big. Thanks for asking. How are you feeling?

@BarbOBarr My new guy Tyson is doing well. He is not always a model citizen. We have had a bit of chewing complaints. The...

Thank you! I've written it down...can't wait to look it up...

I'm okay...altho the usual...some days are better than others...which is the same after any procedure... Thanks also for asking....

Are you back for a while?

People on here can use your kind words....you're doing a service.

@Sukiesnow Thank you! I've written it down...can't wait to look it up... I'm okay...altho the usual...some days are better...

Thank you. I'm glad you're feeling somewhat better. I'm on and off. I'm doing a lot of physical therapy. I was laid up for three weeks. It's tough building up strength, I will get better. I will try to get on more, when I'm not doing it as much😊

@Sukiesnow So cute, huh? Real posers... And love water... A good boxer mix...

He's a beauty. He has the best of both qualities. We cannot believe someone dumped him. I know whoever had this guy loved him. He is very affectionate. The only thing we can figure is the fact he is quite ill with valley fever and the meds are outrageous in price. Their loss is out gain. I will keep him in meds for as long as it takes to cure him. Do you have dogs?

@BarbOBarr He's a beauty. He has the best of both qualities. We cannot believe someone dumped him. I know whoever had this guy...

In a small condo? Ha... Not a chance... You really need more than one person....I know a lot more about animals after my fuzzies...you kinda make up rules.... I will always work to train animals that I have the opportunity to look after....

Animals are better off with either more animals or at least 2 humans...etc....

@Sukiesnow In a small condo? Ha... Not a chance... You really need more than one person....I know a lot more about animals...

I can certainly agree on that. I'm home all day. I baby the crap out of Rodger and Tyson. My husband comes home and they only have eyes for him. I find myself getting annoyed, they completely ignore me.

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@2525652

Thank you Markymark

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@2525454

Thank you...:)

Sukie, Sometimes you can't control your own feelings and you shouldn't even try when you are dealing with something as large as this. People just don't know how to respond, they aren't trying to be mean but some are just ignorant because they've never gone through losing someone close to them.
A friend lost her grown son in a very bad way and we would talk countless times or rather she would talk and I would listen. She would tell me the things people would say to her - shouldn't you be getting over it, type stuff.
I would tell her that your heart doesn't come with a watch that times out
over feelings of loss. The hole in her heart healed but never closed. I hope your heart will heal and you can ignore those who say ignorant things.

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@2525376

That is so true, Plat.

There's been a lot of that going around. You're right: "What is there to say?" Nothing I say is going to make you feel better; only time will.

I know how you all feel.My brother ,who was my best friend.Died two years ago.I was alone with him when he took his last breath.I relive that moment every day.It really hurts.

@hootowl I know how you all feel.My brother ,who was my best friend.Died two years ago.I was alone with him when he took his...

I know exactly what you mean. I've been there, too. I cry every day (off and on) that I can...it's part of grieving, they tell me, I just feel as if it's there...it may never change...

I've talked to professionals about it since, talking to every day people...there's no point really....they think differently.... I don't care anymore how long it takes me...it will take me as long as it does...

What bothers me most, right now, is never being able to see them or hold them, kiss them again...ever again...that is what I am crying about right now...after being in denial...I realized the reality of death and I feel really bad, sad and angry about it...I could go on in this vein... I hate death, you know.

I'm so glad you commented on my post, hootowl.

My brother and I had so much fun together.We were always laughing.Sometimes I almost feel his presence and hear his voice.
That's when I cry.

@hootowl My brother and I had so much fun together.We were always laughing.Sometimes I almost feel his presence and hear his...

That's where my doctor would tell you: your brother is trying to thank you for all the good times...for you being in his life...helping him....that he loves you....

I believe that...but it still feels good to grieve for your own feelings.

I am crying as I type this...

I really know how you feel.Take care.

@hootowl I really know how you feel.Take care.

The same here... You, too. Time helps...altho I have yet to see it.

i am not interest, bye

You have nothing to be sorry for Sukie. Nobody can tell anyone how long to grieve. You are allowed to take as much time as you need and want. If anyone tells you to "Get Over It" well they can kiss my ass.

I lost my dad (6/2007), my mama (12/2012), my nephew (4/2013), my best friend/sister (10/2014), my other best friend 2/2017). I would dare one person to tell me to get over it. I grieve for these people because these people were my entire world.

🦋

@Lil_Princess You have nothing to be sorry for Sukie. Nobody can tell anyone how long to grieve. You are allowed to take as much...

We went thru two of my husbands family, his mom and brother all within two months of one another. I cared for both in my home. I truly thought if I loved them enough and cared for them well, I could keep them with us. When his brother passed, I lost it. I would break down in tears at the mere thought of them. It lasted a long time. I finally thought I was getting better with it. I then lost my little boxer. That did it I cried all over again. I don't think there should be any time limit on grief. Suki cry and grieve as long as you want to. Don't ever let anyone tell you to get over it! This your personal journey.

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