FORWARDS OR BACKWARDS? *** The Funny Tale of O'Malley and the Scuba Diver Even though O'Malley was a licensed scuba diver, he finally got an answer to a question that had annoyed him for decades. Here it is. Harold, an American tourist, asked his friend Murphy, 'Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?' To which Murphy replies, 'If they fell forwards they'd still be in the flippin' boat.' Link: