Life is like toilet paper...you are either on a roll or taking shit for some asshole.
I think I got that right...it was something my dad used to say
A Princess doesn't poop.
They don't burp either
Okay so let me tell ya in a large old cathedral church they sure can echo. A few years ago, Jefferson against my will made me go to church. I told him I wasn't feeling well. When I say I don't feel good there is a reason. I tried to get up but he wouldn't allow it. So I burped and it echoed and yes everyone and I mean everyone turned around to stare. All I could do with a blank look on my face say..."Jefferson, show some respect we are in church for Heavens sake"
I'm sure God - if there is a God...wouldn't have minded...
No I don't think he did, every other person sure did...I will say Jefferson has never asked me to church again
Life is like a snowstorm. Some complain there was too much, some complain there was too little, and some are too busy playing in it to care.
Life is like shoes. They are so beautiful...you can't just stop at one pair.
Life is like a boomerang. Be careful with what you throw out, because eventually it will come back.
Life is like a kite.
To get anywhere you need to hold on while you let it slip through your fingers,
once it gets going you have to almost let go, then it will really take off,
but if you drop your end, even for a second, you are in for a very splendorous crash.
Life is like death.
Nobody knows what's happening and the whole thing might be an illusion.
Life is like a holiday - about the time you figure it out...it's over....
Life is like the ocean. Beautiful and exceedingly powerful.