Who am I to judge another's behavior?
Enabling doesn't have to mean helping them do something wrong, it can simply mean depriving them of the ability to help themselves. Like with a child.
I think in this case, you are actually judging your own behavior. :)
I've learned more about this from my kid than adults. lol It is a fine line. Nurturers have to proceed with caution, I think. Simple desire to help can also easily morph into full-blown co-dependence when someone who 'needs' to be a hero is involved. I suspect that's the line, co-dependence.
I find it helpful to remember something a friend told me once: Charity (or in this case "help") is something you do for someone, not to them.
I don't mind giving a hand "up", but I am tired of people who expect a hand "out".
I agree. I'll help most people with something the first time unless i sense something's not right, but if it becomes a habit and I'm feeling used, then I see that line being crossed and it's time to say no.
I look at enabling with a negative connotation. So there is a pretty identifiable space between helping and enabling. As soon as it becomes something wrong, it's enabling. That may not be literally true, but it's my measure. :)
I do agree that the line between helping and enabling get blurred sometimes. I believe that, if I recognize that my actions might give someone else incentive to do something wrong, I'll look for clues that this may be happening. However, I have no idea how many times I do not recognize this.
I draw a line in the sand when the help becomes unappreciated. They dont say thank you, or they kind of just expect you to say yes. As long as someone shows that they grateful, Ill help all I can.
An enabler encourages wrongdoing, whilst a helper redirects you from it.