You should talk with someone. Plenty of people willing to listen including myself.
Why do you feel this way, Eli?
I just dont like who i am
I'm PMing you...okay?
if you want to...
Most of us don't like ourselves some of the time. Just hang in there, things will change. You're very young, your entire life is ahead of you. There'll be good days and bad days....just focus on the good days.
I've PM'd Eli a couple of times...the last time we "spoke" was 4 months ago.
What's happened? Talk to us.
I know the feeling... I'm sorry you feel that way but definitely take up others offer to talk, it can make a huge difference.
There is so much ahead of you, always keep fighting !
I've been there, trust me. I've hated myself inside and out. I've thought of myself as an idiot, a coward, a bad father, a terrible employee, etc.. I've looked in the mirror and saw a hideous monster looking back at me.
I assume you have reasons for feeling this way, and these reasons seem fairly indisputable to you. It's hard to understand this when you're going through a really difficult time, but your perception might not be accurate. I pride myself in being logical, and I know my perceptions are not always accurate.
Check out this list and see if any of these ring true.
My final advice would be talk to your doctor ASAP. He/she will know what to do.
Never lose hope
Good luck. Please feel free to send a PM to me if you want to chat.
You will, don't be in a hurry.