Wow. I'm glad for you guys.
I don't think it would work for me or my wife. It may work for other people and I have no problem with that. I think a monogamous relationship takes a lot of communication, attention, love, trust, and work to be successful. An open relationship would put additional strain on that in my opinion.
I was in a polyamorous relationship for about two years during my late 20's (different to polygamous) The two girls I met were already in a relationship together and we were all just friends for about a year. I met one through work. None of us at the time had an expectation that it would grow beyond just a regular friendship.
This wasn't an open relationship, we were very faithful to each other. Also a polyamororous relationship isn't something you plan or set out to find. Mostly two girls who are happy in their relationship aren't looking for a guy, especially as most guys would want to me the dominant one in the relationship and see themselves as the focus or the relationship just about sex and that's not how a polyamorous relationship works. That's more of a polygamous relationship.
But we all just slowly got closer and closer until we were living together. It was complex and hard work but the best relationship I've ever been in. It's like three relationships happening simultaneously plus the group one. There's so many great aspects to it, for instance if one of you is sick home from work, the other two can still work or one can stay home and look after the other. Also there's three incomes coming into the home so rents and living is cheaper. If one person needs some quiet alone time, the other two can be with each other. If one of you has any kind of problems, there are two to talk to about it. There's so many social benefits. Traveling and staying in hotels was sometimes awkward as they always wanted to give us separate rooms or beds.
Also there's no room for an ounce of jealousy or favouritism. If you're prone to that then a relationship like this isn't for you. I know most people think it must just be about sex, but the relationship wasn't based around that at all, although it was amazing and special when it happened.
Interesting. Why didn't it last? Don't be afraid to tell me it's none of my business. Just curious. :)
Hehe that's fine, I was waiting for someone to ask. We all had strong career aspirations. One of the girls was studying to be a journalist with plans to travel, I was a musician and wanted to play in a band on cruise ship and the other wanted to study law. All around the same time we all got our opportunities and while we never planned to split, we just drifted a part. I miss them heaps even today.
Thanks very much for sharing. I appreciate the lovely input. It gives more understanding to how things are or could be.
Pleased to help :)
I'm glad you had a great experience....sounds like you were all pretty compatible. Thanks for sharing.
Oh by the way, I see our usual grump is attacking you, bragging again about how true her mate is. I believe that once a Player, always a Player. Some people lie to themselves so they can endure their life.
I agree although in my situation I never felt like I was sharing because we all cared about each other equally. It wasn't an open relationship and I've never cheated on anyone in my life. Also it wasn't one person deciding to ask their monotonous partner if they can bring in another on the side. It was three people who were all very close coexisting. I met them both as a couple and it just somehow became a three. I can't imagine how anyone could go out with the intention of having a relationship like this. It just has to happen easily for all. That's my experience anyway.
I agree with that. I've never been in an open relationship and have only been faithful and honest with my partner or in the case above partners and they with me.
I don't think you're understanding. I've never been a player of women. The two ladies in my relationship were very smart and strong and they cared about each other very much and the last thing they would allow anywhere near them was "a player of women" or a typical kind of alpha male type who just saw them as an opportunity for some sleezy threesome to fulfill his self centred sexual needs at the expense of their perceived feeble manipulable emotions. They were both strong and amazing people. I loved them lots and had the utmost respect for both of them and even now. I don't know what I said in all of the above that led you to think they meant nothing to me. I am still in contact with them now and care about them very much even though we all have different lives. Unlike many married monogamous couples who are in unhealthy and abusive relationships because one or both are players, we were together for each other, we loved and supported each other, and most of all, we were faithful to each other.
I agree with that and I've never been in an open relationship for that reason and I understand and respect that you also have chosen not to be in one either.
It would hurt so bad, knowing that Lillian is with someone else.
I'll admit at times I've thought maybe it would be worth giving a try but that's just impulse talking....I know it would never work for me or for her.
In an extreme case an open relationship might work....
What if you or you partner was confined to a wheelchair....?
Great success story, thanks for sharing!
It was! I was really lucky for it to work out the way it did. I will carry my love for them always. We still keep in contact.
While I have plenty of friends that are in those types of relationships and I respect their choices for me I am personally a one man only kind of girl.
I would agree with that
No, my husband and I are dedicated to one another, we don't need a third party in our marriage, that would be pretty crowded.
I would have no problem if we were simply dating.
I don't know how I would feel if it was a more serious relationship. I can foresee a multitude of possible problems.
No. I would have to work on my trust issues first. And I'm not sure that's even for me. Only time will tell.
Currently. Yes. In the future no.
Polyamory is like renting your body and feelings to a person, and then renting them out to another person, and then renting some more out to a few other people, until whatever initial 'connection' you had with the first person is now little more than a facade. Polyamoroys people are afraid of commitment to one person. They are afraid of real intimacy, this why it's easier for them to keep everyone at arm's distance by not committing to anything, or giving oneself completely to another. We may be sexually wired for polyamory but we are not mentally wired that way. Best to just be single and sleep around or call it 'friends with benefits'. At least that way, you are being honest with yourself.
that trash has nothing to do with this post, except that he cheats and doesn't respect any marital boundaries.
Probably not. I had a buddy I dated a while before he got married. Eventually he had a young woman live with he and his wife. Wife couldn't stand all that neverending sex. So that worked for them for a few years. I didn't want to be an extra so that is why we became just buddies.
I can't even find one person who wants to put up with me.
yep i would be fine with this
Prostitution is a polyamorous relationship. I am pretty sure that they would be indistinguishable in any case.
I think you're confusing polyamorous relationships with polygamous relationships.
1. the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.
1. polygamy in which a woman has more than one husband.
a pattern of mating in which a female animal has more than one male mate.
1. the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.
the condition of bearing some male, some female, and sometimes some perfect flowers on the same plant.
Plenty of confusion there no matter what word you use.
There is although to those in those relationships, the differences are very clear and are hugely different.