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@2562829

No it doesn't. I have my own reasons (completely stupid ones) for not messaging first.

I would love to be the one that initiates the conversation but I can't without fear and panic setting in. I worry that a) I am bothering someone, b) I am being annoying or smothering (even if days, weeks, or , months go by) or c) I have it in my head that people have better things to do than to talk to me. It just took one person to make me feel this way to stop messaging anyone first unless it was an emergency situation. Don't speak unless spoken to first.

I don't respond to people in order not to be rude. I do it because I value that friendship and enjoy speaking with others. When I hear from someone I am delighted. I don't expect anyone to understand my situation but this is why I don't.

So if I am rude because I am protecting myself and not messaging first then I guess I will just have to be labeled rude.

🦋

@Lil_Princess I would love to be the one that initiates the conversation but I can't without fear and panic setting in. I worry...

I can relate to all that you've said, although I will always start talking to someone I like, and then I avoid A) and B)... then if I don't hear back from them I know it's C) ... and you're never rude, you're fun and polite :)

@OzSurfer I can relate to all that you've said, although I will always start talking to someone I like, and then I avoid A)...

I honestly hate being this way and I have tried to change it but as soon as I say this is gonna be the day I do, I feel like the walls are closing in and I can't do it.

@Lil_Princess I honestly hate being this way and I have tried to change it but as soon as I say this is gonna be the day I do, I...

It sounds like an anxiety thing... I can understand that. I have issues like that in my own way especially how you described the walls closing in eek smilie

@OzSurfer It sounds like an anxiety thing... I can understand that. I have issues like that in my own way especially how you...

It is. I suffer from both anxiety and panic disorder. I stopped taking my medication because I don't want to rely on a bill to fix me.

@Lil_Princess It is. I suffer from both anxiety and panic disorder. I stopped taking my medication because I don't want to rely...

I'm sorry to hear that. I've had panic attacks before although they are very rare. I don't take any medication either because I am trying to deal with it by improving my health. I do have a pill for emergency use though which works well as long as I'm at home and not at work or out in public.

@Lil_Princess I never thought about keeping one for emergencies, that is a good idea.

Yeah, just knowing I have it helps a lot, but it's only side effect is that it makes me really drowsy so I have to take it at home.

@OzSurfer Yeah, just knowing I have it helps a lot, but it's only side effect is that it makes me really drowsy so I have to...

I have been doing well with mine but had to make a lot of changes and sacrifices to do it. I am better today than I was but I have things that still have a long way to go.

Kinda changed things for me on here. Not sour grapes but just more realistic from here on out.

If I feel like messaging someone, I will. I don't necessarily have to wait for them to message me first.

I dont want to be intrusive. I always respond, but am hesitant to initiate. I tend to ask questions and fear i may overstep.

I think friendship has to go both ways. If it doesn't then it really isn't a friendship. For some reason I took it that some on here were sorta friends. I now know better.

I find this issue in every day life, with friends and family members.

I'm nearly always the one that initiates any conversation and if I don't for a while, I usually see them somewhere out and they say, I haven't heard from you for ages, why haven't you called or messaged me?

It's actually friends on here that will message me first sometimes which means a lot.

Personally, I don't message people unless I have something specific that I want to say. But the only people that message me that I find annoying are people that are harassing me, and they get blocked. So if you're not blocked, you're probably good

I've never noticed that here xD If I don't want to speak with someone, I just don't. I can't think of one person that I speak just to not be rude. Most of the people I don't have interest in speaking are blocked, so... yeah, that's it xD

In real life, yeah, I've had "friends" like that. I've stopped sending messages. If they miss me, they have my number.

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