Tell me your biggest Fear.
I fear......getting too old or impaired to care for myself
I hate snakes......
To do some things,... there just isn't enough money to make it happen... <s>
Spiders and snakes.
I fear purposelessness.
For the future of my children and their children.
Powerful banks and government. They have pulled the rug out from under us several times in my lifetime. I fear that they will do it again.
A friend of mine had a stroke last week. He is in there but can't talk, swallow and has no use of the left side of his body. I fear being in that place.
Becoming unable to live in my own home and manage my own affairs.
I fear being too poor to do any of the things I want to do in life.
I fear wasting my life being stuck in the rat race of conformity and losing what little identity I have left.
I fear being trapped in life, and missing out on travelling.
I fear not being able to afford a house.
Besides spiders and clowns...my biggest fear is ending up like my dad.
For almost 10 years now, I have kept my dad's death a safe guarded secret. When anyone asked, I would say he had a heart attack. It was easier to explain to people especially those that knew him well, than he committed suicide. My dad had the worlds greatest sense of humor...he was always cracking jokes to make others laugh. People able to bring joy to people made his day. I didn't want people to think "how could a man that is always happy and never angry so something like that".
Sadly though my dad had a deep dark secret...he was battling severe depression. It started in 1999 after he lost his leg to an infection. As his health declined, his depression increased.
He begun to feel like he was a burden to people even though he wasn't at all. He felt sadness because there were things he couldn't do anymore because he was losing his vision. He couldn't drive, play games, cooking was becoming limited, tired all the time, and a string of other things. He lost control of his emotions.
My dad didn't exhibit any warning signs until the night he died. I could see the overwhelming sadness in his eyes. When he told me bye as I was leaving his house, it felt like he was saying bye for the final time and that is what happened because three hours later I was called because they had rushed him to the hospital. It was months later that I learned my dad OD on his medication which brought on the heart attack because he was tired of how he felt and tired of being in and out of the hospital.
I wish I would have seen something. I wish my dad would not have kept his feeling inside and talked with someone. He choose not to because he didn't want to ever burden anyone with his problems.
I hope this was a Cathartic release for you Kat.
I honestly felt a huge weight had been lifted off of me when I made my comment.
Uncertainy / what (bad) could happen in the future
Rats and snakes